From nobody@digitalkingdom.org Fri Jun 01 05:22:00 2007 Received: with ECARTIS (v1.0.0; list lojban-beginners); Fri, 01 Jun 2007 05:22:00 -0700 (PDT) Received: from nobody by chain.digitalkingdom.org with local (Exim 4.63) (envelope-from ) id 1Hu68l-0003mP-BS for lojban-beginners-real@lojban.org; Fri, 01 Jun 2007 05:22:00 -0700 Received: from mclmx2.mail.saic.com ([149.8.64.32] ident=[U2FsdGVkX1/yrhD+ySDTZt+/0I2l7Gng12aJZ7pggF8=]) by chain.digitalkingdom.org with esmtp (Exim 4.63) (envelope-from ) id 1Hu68g-0003mC-NH for lojban-beginners@lojban.org; Fri, 01 Jun 2007 05:21:58 -0700 Received: from 0015-its-ieg01.mail.saic.com ([149.8.64.21] [149.8.64.21]) by mclmx2.mail.saic.com id BT-MMP-1412076 for lojban-beginners@lojban.org; Fri, 1 Jun 2007 08:21:36 -0400 Received: from 0015-its-exbh02.us.saic.com ([10.43.229.22]) by 0015-its-ieg01.mail.saic.com (SMSSMTP 4.0.5.66) with SMTP id M2007060108213617251 for ; Fri, 01 Jun 2007 08:21:36 -0400 Received: from 0456-its-exmp01.us.saic.com ([10.75.0.188]) by 0015-its-exbh02.us.saic.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Fri, 1 Jun 2007 08:21:35 -0400 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft Exchange V6.5 Content-class: urn:content-classes:message MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-MIME-Autoconverted: from quoted-printable to 8bit by Ecartis Subject: [lojban-beginners] Re: la melpelkre .e le ci cribe Date: Fri, 1 Jun 2007 08:21:34 -0400 Message-Id: <1189A858F8918F43BE3F9C7603C73FB4031E7D68@0456-its-exmp01.us.saic.com> In-Reply-To: <23dc8c770706010301n673590e4pf3e2da4ddb620abf@mail.gmail.com> X-MS-Has-Attach: X-MS-TNEF-Correlator: Thread-Topic: [lojban-beginners] Re: la melpelkre .e le ci cribe Thread-Index: AcekNCIfToxjBI8BTFGqddaQQu9KTgADnIRA From: "Turniansky, Michael [UNK]" To: X-OriginalArrivalTime: 01 Jun 2007 12:21:35.0986 (UTC) FILETIME=[65BCE520:01C7A447] X-Spam-Score: 0.0 X-Spam-Score-Int: 0 X-Spam-Bar: / X-archive-position: 4798 X-ecartis-version: Ecartis v1.0.0 Sender: lojban-beginners-bounce@lojban.org Errors-to: lojban-beginners-bounce@lojban.org X-original-sender: MICHAEL.A.TURNIANSKY@saic.com Precedence: bulk Reply-to: lojban-beginners@lojban.org X-list: lojban-beginners > Actually, it occurs to me that if the English definition in the gimste > is accurate, then {dukse} doesn't seem to work. {ra glare dukse} > would mean "it [the porridge] is a hot-kind-of-excess", presumably an > abbreviation of {ra dukse le ka glare}, "it is an excess of hotness". > But porridge is not heat, so it can't be an excess of heat. > What about {le ra glare cu dukse}? Or is the gimste definition simply > misleading, and {ra glare dukse} is OK? Personally, I would reverse it, to "ra dukse glare" (it was an excessive type of hot). As to the rest of the story, very nice. A few stylistic points. I think you are being a bit needlessly specfiic in things like "zdadi'u" and "prenu ckana". Why not simply "zdani" and "ckana"? Context makes it clear, I should think. > da pu sipna ne'i le mi ckana "ne'i"? Does one really sleep inside a bed? I would be inclined to use "sedi'o" instead. Xorxes: > {pu ca'o citka} or {pu citka pi so'u ...} would make things clearer. > Without {ca'o} or {pi su'o} I read them as completed events. Well, aren't they completed? She isn't eating the porridge any longer... Further thoughts... maybe instead of mavdja, mavypesxu (or the really ugly-sounding (IMHO) mavypexydja). Also, if you want a three syllable name for the protagonist, you could always use pelxykre, since in the original, the middle syllable is unstressed as well... --gejyspa