From nobody@digitalkingdom.org Fri Jun 01 06:13:17 2007 Received: with ECARTIS (v1.0.0; list lojban-beginners); Fri, 01 Jun 2007 06:13:17 -0700 (PDT) Received: from nobody by chain.digitalkingdom.org with local (Exim 4.63) (envelope-from ) id 1Hu6wA-0004nf-Jx for lojban-beginners-real@lojban.org; Fri, 01 Jun 2007 06:13:05 -0700 Received: from an-out-0708.google.com ([209.85.132.241]) by chain.digitalkingdom.org with esmtp (Exim 4.63) (envelope-from ) id 1Hu6vW-0004n4-UO for lojban-beginners@lojban.org; Fri, 01 Jun 2007 06:12:50 -0700 Received: by an-out-0708.google.com with SMTP id b21so183512ana for ; Fri, 01 Jun 2007 06:12:21 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=beta; h=domainkey-signature:received:received:message-id:date:from:to:subject:in-reply-to:mime-version:content-type:content-transfer-encoding:content-disposition:references; b=twxIXll5tBs7Ub0Hw56DdirWtxydIZFkGK6Lu+z4cikfU01+ws1f0GFqWN7ZRXa8DNMJ6jsbOsX0SbGkXzf5VaMkzItIAlvhc5WbwOjGRKVSjWLxMSQewXqxjz7O3FnNZYKDzQWvvwia+4iOonYYVvtssIlOY4a62cxADpqRwvE= DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=beta; h=received:message-id:date:from:to:subject:in-reply-to:mime-version:content-type:content-transfer-encoding:content-disposition:references; b=Cm2f/EIOZ4dkIJu+29bMFiR+xy2n2TDyWl8SKkUehMZAyhvrfsMNmW/LYif2IZ0kbWbdf/xCpom/fTxlvNhVRaGJGNba7Yc19U8Md5dlJzQ8Qe+0AMR/lq734CR+us6USR07/kDayGWyPnpgHqGEGMamOhh3sYkAEplt6W9bt20= Received: by 10.101.69.4 with SMTP id w4mr980516ank.1180703541418; Fri, 01 Jun 2007 06:12:21 -0700 (PDT) Received: by 10.100.92.6 with HTTP; Fri, 1 Jun 2007 06:12:21 -0700 (PDT) Message-ID: <23dc8c770706010612m6c49e5dese94d787997261360@mail.gmail.com> Date: Fri, 1 Jun 2007 14:12:21 +0100 From: "Karl Naylor" To: lojban-beginners@lojban.org Subject: [lojban-beginners] Re: la melpelkre .e le ci cribe In-Reply-To: <1189A858F8918F43BE3F9C7603C73FB4031E7D68@0456-its-exmp01.us.saic.com> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Disposition: inline References: <23dc8c770706010301n673590e4pf3e2da4ddb620abf@mail.gmail.com> <1189A858F8918F43BE3F9C7603C73FB4031E7D68@0456-its-exmp01.us.saic.com> X-Spam-Score: 0.0 X-Spam-Score-Int: 0 X-Spam-Bar: / X-archive-position: 4801 X-ecartis-version: Ecartis v1.0.0 Sender: lojban-beginners-bounce@lojban.org Errors-to: lojban-beginners-bounce@lojban.org X-original-sender: karl.org@gmail.com Precedence: bulk Reply-to: lojban-beginners@lojban.org X-list: lojban-beginners On 01/06/07, Turniansky, Michael [UNK] wrote: > > What about {le ra glare cu dukse}? Or is the gimste definition simply > > misleading, and {ra glare dukse} is OK? > Personally, I would reverse it, to "ra dukse glare" (it was an > excessive type of hot). That might work. I tend to put the quality first and the quantity-word second in these tanru, simply because most Lojban that I read has it that way (eg. glamau), but in this case I think I can make an exception. > As to the rest of the story, very nice. A few stylistic points. I > think you are being a bit needlessly specfiic in things like "zdadi'u" > and "prenu ckana". Why not simply "zdani" and "ckana"? Context makes I felt that in the context of a forest one would tend to read {zdani} as a nest or den, something that a regular non-talking animal lives in -- except for the {.ue}, of course, and until the vorme is mentioned. And because you may already know the story :) So I made it a built house specifically (got the word from the lujvo list). As for {ckana}, I didn't fully understand whether "pallet" in the gimste definition means that a bare {ckana} can refer to wooden pallets for moving goods around in factories, so I was a bit careful and specified (only on the first mention) that they are beds for people. I agree I probably don't need that one. > > da pu sipna ne'i le mi ckana > "ne'i"? Does one really sleep inside a bed? I would be inclined to > use "sedi'o" instead. OK, yeah. > Further thoughts... maybe instead of mavdja, mavypesxu (or the really I like mavypesxu, thanks. > name for the protagonist, you could always use pelxykre, since in the > original, the middle syllable is unstressed as well... Ah, good idea! I was a little unhappy that the stress didn't match the English.