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From: =?ISO-8859-1?Q?Jorge_Llamb=EDas?= <jjllambias@gmail.com>
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Subject: [lojban] Re: Fly, Peacock, Fly
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> Here is a translation. Please let me know if you have any advice for it.
> -epkat

Nice! Just some minor points:

> ko vofli .i doi skaxruki ko vofli
> Fly, Peacock, fly
> ga'u le tcadu dinju
> up onto the town hall

{ga'u} doesn't really say "up onto", just "above". If
you want to be more literal maybe something like
{se ka'a le tcadu dinju cpana}.

> mu'i le nu le'i se kecti pinfu
> for the poor prisoners

I would say {lei} or {le} instead of {le'i}, since mathematical
sets can't really be free or not free.

> cu co'a zifre
> to be set at liberty.

That may be enough, but if you want to be more literal
maybe something like {cu co'a zifre gau} to indicate that
they are set free and not just that they start to be free.

> .i le skaxruki pu vofli
> Peacock flew
> ga'u le tcadu dinju
> up onto the town hall
> ki'unai le nu le'i se kecti pinfu
> but not for the poor prisoners

Shouldn't this "for" be the same as the other one?
Also, you can add {ku'i} for "but": {mu'i nai ku'i}.

> cu co'a zifre
> to be set at liberty.

mu'o mi'e xorxes


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