From nobody@digitalkingdom.org Sun Nov 02 12:42:38 2008 Received: with ECARTIS (v1.0.0; list lojban-list); Sun, 02 Nov 2008 12:42:38 -0800 (PST) Received: from nobody by chain.digitalkingdom.org with local (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1KwjmQ-0007hS-40 for lojban-list-real@lojban.org; Sun, 02 Nov 2008 12:42:38 -0800 Received: from rv-out-0708.google.com ([209.85.198.248]) by chain.digitalkingdom.org with esmtp (Exim 4.69) (envelope-from ) id 1KwjmN-0007hE-AW for lojban-list@lojban.org; Sun, 02 Nov 2008 12:42:38 -0800 Received: by rv-out-0708.google.com with SMTP id b17so2232569rvf.46 for ; Sun, 02 Nov 2008 12:42:32 -0800 (PST) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=domainkey-signature:received:received:message-id:date:from:to :subject:in-reply-to:mime-version:content-type :content-transfer-encoding:content-disposition:references; bh=FFL7vPVDcbeK3pNRlPn7/ZH1JyPC8gIGdVEq9p6siPw=; b=ar5GhFXna2epild1tTtcKNAHlhHMrNuOVsX/6CVjixL8AnACNfJDbAafdXI+y3Cmx2 chaJ4Cl5PI0JXcgiG9VlI4m3cbPmT0+2LEGtdjghxJn9GYkpAqdw3YJCn7N3+VgNQOEi kjikLYDWjMGQKs+3h7vatG6TMe4yfqZ4L0eUA= DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=gmail.com; s=gamma; h=message-id:date:from:to:subject:in-reply-to:mime-version :content-type:content-transfer-encoding:content-disposition :references; b=hi2818YhcX42kCRKy9L/d5hv0TQHJZBoZ7uDwhe3ZAj9WW3V4xwvnr5UtCWvhN1ItG ZogqfW4D+QrNM4U5hDR2mGBm5LP/6AAa163brSKf8D37QL/EXMoj5ruOKfpv/QO5iMEx AfmnhJMRzCC/SpDMtx3+EDiNmAQfQEOKbXTA0= Received: by 10.140.166.21 with SMTP id o21mr8398904rve.167.1225658552588; Sun, 02 Nov 2008 12:42:32 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.141.194.15 with HTTP; Sun, 2 Nov 2008 12:42:32 -0800 (PST) Message-ID: <925d17560811021242n22e66bcdgfe2cef707444147d@mail.gmail.com> Date: Sun, 2 Nov 2008 17:42:32 -0300 From: "=?ISO-8859-1?Q?Jorge_Llamb=EDas?=" To: lojban-list@lojban.org Subject: [lojban] Re: le gusta co minde mutce In-Reply-To: <2f91285f0810260835h78654a7dr11b5b5c0957bce70@mail.gmail.com> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Disposition: inline References: <2f91285f0810260835h78654a7dr11b5b5c0957bce70@mail.gmail.com> X-Spam-Score: 0.0 X-Spam-Score-Int: 0 X-Spam-Bar: / X-archive-position: 14904 X-ecartis-version: Ecartis v1.0.0 Sender: lojban-list-bounce@lojban.org Errors-to: lojban-list-bounce@lojban.org X-original-sender: jjllambias@gmail.com Precedence: bulk Reply-to: lojban-list@lojban.org X-list: lojban-list On Sun, Oct 26, 2008 at 12:35 PM, tijlan wrote: > > Here's my first attempt at a short story translation: > > http://www.lojban.org/tiki/tiki-index.php?page=le+gusta+co+minde+mutce&bl=n&saved_msg=y ua mutce xamgu .i xu do ponjo > Feedbacks are welcome. OK, here are some comments: >> .i no sai zo'e ga'i vi cipni jonai vlilydanlu vau .oi I think you want "ja" rather than "jonai" there. >> da'i lo nu piso'o dantyfriti fi lo jirnydza ke pelxu betfymlana zo'u "piso'o dantyfriti" is a sumti. Maybe "piso'omei dantyfriti"? >> .i mi ja'eda'i lo mu'e tolcikna binxo cu nu citka djica "nu citka kei djica"? >> .i ko'a mu'e frumu "ko'a co'i frumu", or "mu'e ko'a frumu". >>.i bazi lo mu'e fi le tanbo cu punji le burcu kei ge ri sa'ei .vouf. ka bumru canci gi sa'ei .douf. brife mo'ine'i le kumfa "ka bumru kei canci"? >> .i lo du'u ganai da'i na sutra kenro bo zenba va'u loi glare selcidja gi ba tceraktu fasnu kei se smadi le reldza kenro->kanro >> .i .e'o ko vi punji le cnebydasrypijne .e le batknkafsa .e le kanlyblaci .e le jdinydakli .e ro lo drata jinme to sa'e lo jipnykinli "batknkafsa"??? Is that cuff links? What about something like "xancykarli batke"? >> lu go'i .ia .i ni'iku .uaru'e pleji vi ti xu ca lo nu cliva li'u Why were they expecting to pay? Wasn't it supposed to be free? ("za'a le ti zdani cu ka'e gusta co nonjdima selfu mi'o") >> .i vaku za'ure'u vorme poi ca'u ke'a pamei blaci patxu "poi" needs a sumti to modify. Maybe "za'ure'u me lo vorme poi ...". Also, you probably want "pamei ke blaci patxu". >> .i mu'i lo za'i ru'i se vasru le patxu kei ro le reldza tai lo zu'o gacrygau fi le flira fe lei kruji cu mipri citka ri I think "za'o" (still contains, keeps on containing) is better than "ru'i" (contains without interruption). "ro le relzda" is "each pair". Probably "ro le re nanmu" would be better. >>.i .ii mi pupu'o ri'a kerlo skapyfenra Probably needs re-wording, since it's not him that was about to be a crack. "mi zo'u pu pu'o ..." should work. >>.i zu'unai mi nu co'a citka sutra .auku'i "nu co'a citka kei sutra"? >> .i ju'o ditcu me'i lo mentu be li pamu I think: "lo mentu be li me'ipamu". "me'i lo mentu be li pamu" is "not all ten-minute intervals". >> ti ka sarvanju .uanai pancydjacu "ka sarvanju kei" or just "sarvanju pancydjacu" >> .i ku'i ba'e caroi le reldza cu terpa gi'e mu'e simxu catlu le flira noi ba'o mutce co se gacri loi kruji "caroi" is not grammatical. I use "ca lo ca krefu" for "this time". Also, mu'e -> co'i >> lu [...] .i ni'iku la'edi'u se smuni .y. jy. jy. jy. ja'o lo du'u my. my. mi'o ... li'u "jy.jy.jy" and "my.my" are sumti that will fill a sumti place, and that final part is not grammatical because there's no selbri after du'u, so it can't really be in lu-li'u quotes. It's hard to stammer in Lojban and not meddle with the grammar. >>.i sa'ei .gatagatat. ko'a tu'a le ti'a vorme catke troci "cu catke troci"? >> .i va za'ure'u vorme poi ke'a fe'ereroi se ckikykevna co barda "vorme poi" -> "me lo vorme poi" >> .i fi'isai ko ga'inai mo'i nenri You need "do'u" after "fi'isai" if "ko" is meant to be the x1 of "nenri". >> .i ji'asai mo'ito'o le ckikykevna ku re blanu kanlybolci sa'ei .kiorokioror. cu fa'a ti catlu "fa'a ti" is a term, it can't come between "cu" and the selbri. You can just omit "cu" there, or move "fa'a ti" before "cu" or after "catlu". >> .i ju'a le la jatna cusku tadji cu xlali "le la jatna ku cusku tadji" >> .i la jatna .io za'o za'i cutnybukpu dasni jeke dakfu jgari jeke tance mosra ke'e denpa tu'a do doi .io vitke "za'i ... kei" >> .i le pe le ckikykevna ku'o kanlybolci cu zisai to'o cliva ku'o -> ge'u >> .i le gerku ge ze'a ke cmoni clupyklama ne'i le kumfa gibabo fau lo mu'e za'ure'u pavykrixa kei sutra plipe fa'a le lamji vorme kei -> cu >>.i ri sa'ei .gatar. kalri binxo ja'e lo nu ro le gerku cu se sakci pe'a pa'o klama "pa'o" (or any tag) can't be used as part of a tanru. >> .i ne'i lo ze'o le vorme ku manku cu bacru lu sa'ei .niaaon.kuaan.gorgor. li'u A tagged sumti can't be used in that position, but "pe ze'o le vorme ku" will work. >> .i le kumfa sekai lo ka danmo cu mu'e canci mu'e -> co'i >> .i le reldza cu ri'a di'a menlykenro kenro -> kanro Nice work! mu'o mi'e xorxes To unsubscribe from this list, send mail to lojban-list-request@lojban.org with the subject unsubscribe, or go to http://www.lojban.org/lsg2/, or if you're really stuck, send mail to secretary@lojban.org for help.