From cbmvax!uunet!CUVMA.BITNET!LOJBAN Wed Jan 8 06:21:44 1992 Return-Path: Date: Wed Jan 8 06:21:44 1992 Message-Id: <9201080917.AA26734@relay2.UU.NET> Reply-To: cbmvax!uunet!MULLIAN.EE.MU.OZ.AU!nsn Sender: Lojban list From: cbmvax!uunet!MULLIAN.EE.MU.OZ.AU!nsn Subject: Wallop of translations: 1. X-To: lojban@cuvmb.cc.columbia.edu X-Cc: nsn@ee.mu.oz.au To: John Cowan , Eric Raymond , Eric Tiedemann Status: RO Over the Christmas break, I made me one or two translations, which I'm now publishing for your edification and comments (Colin - this means you! :) First up is the piece I'm least satisfied with - Kalman Kalocsay's "On a bitter occasion". The piece is more important than good, since it is one of the earlier writings by the man who singlehanded established Esperanto poetics and grammatical analysis (1891-1976, Hungarian); there are a few grammatical faults (like the hungaricism "about the meaning without an awareness" for "without an awareness about the meaning"), and stylistically the emotions of the work aren't quite kept under control - something which becomes aggravating in the Lojban translation. In fact, friliness and give-away rhyme is something the whole of Kalocsay's work suffers from: it is only in his middle age that he obtained an occasionally maturer voice. But this work *is* important: the words "poeto sen popolo" have haunted all poets in the language ever since - they either agree, or try to clumsily deny them. And the ambiguous attitude taken towards Esperanto, even during its most frantic huzzahing, may well be revealing (though hopefully not too offputting) about your non-competators. I have published the original in soc.culture.esperanto. I recommend you do look at it: the translation given here is not that artful. In Lojban, of course, this is no surprise. How can we talk of poetic metaphor, when, in speaking of the shawl-like fog (upcoming poem), the hard concept to express is *shawl*!! The sharper-eyed will notice that I am starting to use Lojbab's {-gau}, as an abbreviation for {-ri'agau}. If you don't like it, tough: I WILL HAVE ME A FACTITIVE! Anyone got anything to say on Helsem's poems? I've just finished correcting them, and reckon we've been giving him too hard a time... He is a good poet. Not as good a Lojbani, but that can be fixed... Literal translation from the Esperanto Lojban Literal translation from the Lojban On a bitter occasion You are nothing, nothing, if, without any awareness of the meaning, you howl about the "New Sensation"! I would know you to be a ferment, a powerful capability, a magical force: you sleepy "family circle". Is it true that singing the anthem till bursting, the collective vanity of correspondence, and the fact that a collection of wierdos argue about rules of grammar riding on the Language Basis --- is *that* the New Sensation? That, fleeing from obligations you merely gawp with crosseyed dreams, and taking a respectable pose you occasionally cast a pittance onto the altar of the Cause: *this* is a sacrifice? I hit. Brother hits brother. He himself is tormented by every hit. Oh my race, my race, my green (Esp) race! I would know you to be a ferment, a strong capability, a guiding torch, in bad magic --- good magic! And, though "a strange little sect", but ready to believe, to struggle, to win, for which, despite all mockery the Strong Voice through the world is not a bloodless illusion, but a belief, a religion! Sacrifices nourish aspirations, every victory demands martyrs! Let paleness not cover your face, noone wants your blood, but giving, doing, and fervour, and heart, but the whole heart! Alas, all in vain! I realise that I am shouting away in a desert. You will still stay in peace, society amusing itself. Oh, where is there consolation for me --- a poet without a people. A poet without a people, oh a soul-pressing knowledge, that the ears are deaf to all my calls... The crying melody sounds out without resonance, like a torn string in a deserted place. Should I still make projects, believe and dream like a little boy, and make a mosaic out of the split bits of language, or should I throw the pen from my hand, like Kabe, and start being silent --- father to aborted verses? It would be more opportune, and certainly more sensible, to no longer make vain soapbubbles fly by blowing, and, having lifted the shoulders hallpily-indifferently, to no longer sing the "Song Of The Slave" like Schulhof. But where to go? Where is there an ideal, on which I would not see a malicious snigger, in whose altar cloth, crazily, after a battle, no adorer has already wiped a bloody hand? There you are, Esperanto! Not glorious and proud, just orphan, powerless, strengthless, immature, fainting-prone and helpless and --- maybe --- hopeless, but noble, white, clear and immaculately pure. I know you. In the heart you sung as a nightingale in the night of the world. How you could trill! Noone heard you, kept butchering themselsves "in the real world". Should I stop my ears to start resembling them? No! Let the sweet-trilling song still sound in the heart, oh, sing, small, powerless, dear, dear bird! Be my beautiful lie shining enchantingly, be my consolation in our bitter world! lu ca lo nu nu ra'udri li'u cu tcita di'e nefi'e la kalman. KAlotcais. i tu'e "During the event: trouble-sorrow" labels the following, invented-by Kalman Kalocsay: do se vamji lo ba'e nomei .ijanai do sekainai lonu sanji le selsmu cu krixa tavla la'elu cnino selcinmo li'u (tosa'a 1moi pinka toi) .i.au.e'enai mi nu'o djuno ledu'u do banro gi'e vlipa kakne gi'e makfa bapli doi lazni ke cecmu lanzu (tosa'a 1moi pinka toi) You have worth ZERO. That, inc-or-not you, not characterised by the event: knows the thing meant, shout-talk about "New Sensation" (1) (Desire. Incapability) I can and don't know that you grow and are powerful capable and are magical forcing, O lazy community/family (1) .i xu lenu sanga le ritli ja'e lenu spoja kei .e lenu kampu ke xatra maljgi kei .e lenu le gerna javni cu se dabysnu le'i cizra noi jdapi'o le baucmu cu mele cnino selcinmo Is it true that the event: sings the ritual thing with that which is described as the event: explodes, and the event: common grammar bad-pride, and the event: the grammar rule(s) arer argue-discussed by the set of the wierd which religious-uses the language basis are to do with the new sensation? .i lenu do rivbi be loi se bilga be'o bebysna sekai lo to'e snada se pacna gi'e so'oroi selsi'a simlu renro le se pikci jdini le selfi'ijbu pe le bangu sidbo cuntu kei cu xu sidju The event: you {avoid the obliged things} stupid-stand characterised by an unsuccessful hope and a few times respected-seeming throw begged money to the offer-table todo with the language idea affiar is help? .i mi darxi .i da darxi leda bunra .ije da se raktu ro nu darxi .i doi cecmu doi crino cecmu (tosa'a 2moi pinka toi) mi nu'o djuno .au.e'enai ledu'u do banro gi'e vlipa kakne gi'e lidne jmigau gi'e xamgu makfa va'o loi xlali makfa I hit. x1 hits x1's brother. And x1 is troubled by any event: hits. O community O green community (2) I would know (Desire Incapability) the sentence: you grow and are powerful capable and are leading understand-actor and are good magic in environment: bad magic. .i do cizra ke cmalu jdacecmu ti'e .iku'i do bredi lenu krici je dapma je jinga .imu'inai ro nunyckasu le fe'eroroi vliki'a (tosa'a 1moi pinka toi) cu cibla nalselkai xanri nagi'e se krici je lijda cai You are a strange small religion-community (I hear). But you are ready to believe and fight and win. Not motivated by all events of mocking the all-places strong shouter (1) is blood-uncharacterised imaginary not, and a believed thing and a religion. .i loinu friti cu baryri'a lei se djica .i ronu jinga cu se sarcu loi selsfa .i leko flira cu na'e kandi .i ro prenu cu djica lenu ledo ciblu cu se batfle kei na.e lenu dunda je gasnu je caidji jeke cinmo na'e ruble The {events: offer} make grow the wanted things. All {events: win} have as necessary the punished. (Make it true) Your face is non pale. All people want the event: your blood outside-flows not, and the event: gives and acts and strongly wants and emotes non weakly .i.uinai roda se steba .i mi sanji lenu mi krixa vi lo precau stuzi .i do .e'a cajeba panpi ke se zdile girzu .i ma rinka lenu co'u se raktu mi noi te pemci fo no natmi (Sad) All x1 are frustrations. I am aware of the event: I shout at a personless site. You (Allow) now and in the future are a peaceful amused group. What will cause the event: something stops troubling me, who am the author of poems with audience: no nation. ni'o te pemci fo no natmi .i.uinai se dunku se djuno .i rolomi se bacru cu se tirna noda .i le klaku se zgisku cu di'ersa'e jenaike minra ladmau tai tu'a lo porpi gitko'i bevi lo se cliva Para. Poet to no nation. (Sad) anguished-about knowledge. All my utterances are neard by no x1. The weeping music-expressed thing is radiating-sound and not reflection louder in the manner of an action of a broken guitar string at a left place. .i mi cajeba verba ke plagau je krici je pacna tai tu'a lo citnanla gi'e zbasu lo spipi'a lei fenra bauspi .ije'i mi renro le penbi tai tu'a la kaben. (tosa'a 3moi pinka toi) gi'e ge co'a smaji gi ba'o finti loi fliba pemci I now and in the future plan-act and believe and hope in the manner of an action of a young boy, and make a piece picture out of the split language pieces. (Connection?) I throw the pen in the manner of the action of Kabe (3) and both start being silent and have already created failed poems .i leka te mapti .e.ia leka xaujdi cu te zmadu fi lenu banai pe'a vasxu volgau po'a le zbabu fomselci fliba gi'e ge lafti le janco seci'o loka gleki na'e se cinri gi banai sanga la se slesanga tai tu'a la culxof. (tosa'a 4moi pinka toi) The quality: is a quality for being fitting, and (Belief) the quality: good judgement are what makes something exceeded by the event: not in the future "breathe fly-[cause]-act" the soap foamcell failures and both lifts the shoulder with emotion: a quality happy not interested and not in the future sing the Slave-song in the manner of the action of Schulhof (4) .iku'i ba'obo mi binxo ma .i mi facki lo se krici po'u ma zi'enoi mi na viska lonu palci cisma pe ke'a ku'o zi'enoi le selfi'ijbu bukpu pe ke'a punai fenki se jisysatre fi lo bluselgai xance ba lo nunda'a fa lo se lijda be ke'a But in the aftermath I become what. I discover a belief which is what and such that I don't see an event: evil smile to do with it, and such that the offer-table cloth to do with it not in the past is crazy clean-rubbed with a blood-covered hand after an event of fighting by one who has it as their religion. .i.a'o doi banresperanto. do misno najenai jgira .i do nurprecau je na'e vlipa je na'e tsali je na'e makcu gi'e ka'e farlu gi'e na'e se sidju je .iacu'i pa'arcau .iku'i selsi'a je vrude je klina je carmi jinsa (Hope) O Esperanto you are famous not nor proud. You are safe-personless and not powerful and not strong and not mature and can fall and are not helped and (not quite belief) hopeless. But respected and virtue and clean and strongly pure. .i mi djuno fi do .i vedu'o le se cinmo do cipni sanga ca le rolzda nicte .i.ue do xamgu se slivoksa .i loi prenu cu tirna jundi do nagi'e simcatra ci'e loka ti'e to'e xanri (tosa'a 5moi pinka toi) .i .eipeixu mi to'e kligau le kerlo mu'i lenu mi simsa ra I know about you. In epistemology: the emoted, you bird sang during the all-house night. (Surprise) You have a good oscillate voice. People listen paid-attention to you not, and mutually killed in system the quality of (I hear) not imaginary. (5) (Obligation?) Is it true that I un-clear-act the ear with motive the event: I resemble the former? .i.ai na go'i .i.e'o le pluka se sanga cajeba sance vedu'o le se cinmo .i ko sanga doi cipni noi cmalu je ruble je dirba jecai dirba .i ko melbi je makfa bo carmi jitfa sepu'a mi .i tu'a ko rinka lenu co'u se raktu ci'e lemi badri rolzda (Intent) not so. (Request) The pleasing song now and in the future sounds in epistemology the emoted. (Make it true) You sing O bird which is small and weak and dear and (!) dear. (Make it true) You are beautiful and magic-intense lie to please me. (Make it true) An action of you causes the event: stops troubling in system: my sad all-house ni'osa'a pinka .i pamai le se barna se cusku cu spisa le kulnresperanto ke ritli sanga noi le pamoi pagbu be ke'a cu se fanva la lojbab .e la maiky'elsym .i remai le kazycrino cu sinxa le kulnresperanto .i cimai la kaben goi la'o py. Kazimierz Bein py. cu vajni fanva ci'e le kulnresperanto .iku'i la kaben. ca la 1911nan. co'u cmima le kulnu .i vomai la stanislav. culxof. cu clira te pemci ci'e le kulnresperanto zo'e nemu'u la se slesanga. noi notci lenu le cusku naka'e sisti lenu se kulnresperanto .i mumai le cusku cu tavla le pamoi ke rolgu'e jemna pe puzi Para. Comments. 1. The marked expressed things are pieces of the (culture) Esperanto ritual song such that the first part of it is translated by Bob LeChevalier and (separately) Michael Helsem. 2. The quality of green is a sign of the (culture) Esp. 3. Kabe (Kazimierz Bein) is an important translator in system: the (culture) Esp. However Kabe in 1911 stopped being a member of the culture. 4. Stanislav Schulhof is a early poet in system: the (culture) Esp. 5. The expresser talks of the first all-country war to do with immediately before. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Nick Nicholas, Melbourne Uni, Australia. nsn@{munagin.ee|mullauna.cs}.mu.oz.au "Despite millions of dollars of research, death continues to be this nation's number one killer" - Henry Gibson, Kentucky Fried Movie _______________________________________________________________________________