Message-Id: <9201260932.AA16224@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu>
Date:         Sun, 26 Jan 1992 20:29:40 +1100
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From: cbmvax!uunet!MULLIAN.EE.MU.OZ.AU!cuvmb.cc.columbia.edu!nsn
Subject:      Wallops #5
To: John Cowan <cowan@SNARK.THYRSUS.COM>,
        Eric Raymond <eric@SNARK.THYRSUS.COM>,
        Eric Tiedemann <est@SNARK.THYRSUS.COM>
Status: RO

More Freddy Germanos, same book:


What's Responsible?

Though I'm no expert in athletics, I've started understanding that we didn't
go that well in the Olympics in Tokyo. I mean, we could have gone better.

It seems that in the overall classings we came after Korea, Afganistan, Kenya,
Trinidad and the Ivory Coast. But we did manage to beat Lichtenstein. This is,
of course, very pleasing news, which would be even more pleasing, had Lichten-
stein taken part in the Olympics.

Now everyone is asking "What's responsible?" Well it seems that a lot of things
are responsible, if I can judge from a small poll I lately took in our athletic
circles.

1. The wind was against us. Every time one of our guys was about to run 100m
or do the long jump or throw javelin, they managed to have the wind against
them. Of course, this doesn't ever happen with the foreigners. It's been
observed that foreigners have struck up a deal with the wind, and get it always
on their side. In general, the wind shows in every way that it suffers from an
incurable hatred of Greeks.

2. The track was too wet.

3. The track was too dry.

4. They were unfair to us. I don't know how we manage it, but we always have
the referee against us. You might say that's one of our national talents.

(If despite all expectations the referee is occasionally on our side, this means
either that there's something wrong with us or that there's something wrong with
the referee).

5. We had a cramp.

6. In general, to make a quick recap, what's responsible is when the track is
too wet or not wet at all, when it's windy or not windy at all, when it's
raining or sunshine or cloudy, when we've eaten too much or haven't eaten at
all, when we haven't gotten a letter for a long time and when we've lost in
the Soccer Pools.

It's also bad for us when we compete before midday, because we aren't fully
awake, and after midday, because we're digesting.

In general, competing is bad for us.

These are some of the explanations heard these days, but with a bit of good
or bad will we can find some more, like for example:

7. The Cyprus dispute. The way things are now, our athletes had to be partic-
ularly careful in some situations. I've heard that just before the long jump
started, in which an Englishman was participating amongst others, the coach
whispered ["whistled"] into the ear of our guy: "Don't put the squeeze on him".

Thus the Englishman came first and our guy came 25th.

8. Our international successes. It's true, we shouldn't want everything for
ourselves. We got a Nobel prize, we got our own Miss Universe... Let the
foreigners get a prize for themselves.

8. The Turkish Rule over Greece! Nobody has touched on this point till today,
and I am glad to be the first one to do so. Actually, Turkish Rule is respons-
ible for so meny things [wrong with our country], that I don't see why it
shouldn't be responsible for what we went through in Tokyo.

Unless, of course, Tokyo is responsible for what we went through during Turkish
Rule...


No, it's not our athletes' fault.

Our lads did whatever they could. It's just as well they got to Tokyo. From
one viewpoint, that's a success too.

It's the fault of the system. Something's wrong with the system of the Olympics.
And today, 68 years after the first Olympics in 1896, I'm launching the
following slogan in this column: "It's time to change the system, to make a
better day - or gold at the Olympics"

The new system should divide the countries into classes. Each country is to
compete with countries in its class. That way, we'll have more olympic winners,
as well as more justice.

1. For example, the first class could contain America and Russia: the two have
been interfering with us ["amidst our feet"] since 1896, and we're all sick of
them. Well then, let them poke each other's eyes out between themselves, and
leave us alone.

2. The second class could contain all blacks. I am no supporter of racial
discrimination, but lately blacks have been showing an annoying arrogance
in athletic matters. What's more, they win lots of medals.

I have in mind the marathon runner from Ethiopia, who had such a lack of tact,
that he won two consecutive Olympics, and whatsmore, barefoot. Honestly, I
don't see why an athlete should show off the disadvantages of the social
policy of his country. If the Ethiopians don't have any shoes, let's buy them
some. (As long as they don't run in the Marathon).

3. It would be good if the third class contained all tall people. It has been
ascertained that semi-endurance races and jumps are won by tall athletes. Given
that we haven't had a tall athlete represent us in the Olympics since 344 BC,
we can comfortably support the view: "Tall guys stay home"

4. Fourth class: All non-European athletes. That way we gid rid of the Japanese,
who are unfortunately neither negros nor tall, but who do win heaps of medals.

5. Here we'll have all athletes coming from countries with a population of more
than eight and a half million. Of course the number is entirely coincidental.
It has nothing to do with any specific case. I could have said twelve or
fifteen, but since I said eight and a half, let it be eight and a half.

6. It is logical that the sixth class should contain countries with a population
of under eight and a half million.

Things have cleared up a lot. We've already gotten rid of England, Germany,
Italy, France and Poland, but there still remain some monsters, like Hungary,
Norway, Denmark.

This means the system must from now on try its utmost.

7. Here will belong all countries with a population of less than 8 1/2 million
and which were at one time ruled by the Turks. It has been proven that having
been ruled by the Turks always reduces athletes' performance. (If it doesn't,
this simply means that it was a bad quality Turkish rule).

Thus we eliminate Denmark and Norway, but we still have Hungary dogging us,
since she had the good idea of going through Turkish rule too.

8. The eighth class will contain all countries with a population of under
eight and a half million, which were at one time ruled by the Turks, and which
are members of NATO. That way we eliminate Hungary, and at the same time show
them what happens to you when you're not a member of NATO.

Now, of course, arises the problem: "In what class should Greece belong, in
order to win the first place in her class?"

I think we've got good odds in the eighth. But since you don't know what can
happen to our athletes, how they wake up on the day, whether they're in a good
mood, and if they're on a light stomach, it's better that we go for the ninth...


melu ma fuzme li'u ni'oni'o

mi na certu le se zajbrnatleta .iku'i mi co'a jimpe lenu mi poi xelso cu
no'e snada tu'a le la olimpik. nunjvi pevi la tokios. isa'unai mi nu'o zmadu
zo'epeca'aku leni snada .iti'e le mulno nizyji'a cu te zmadu mi le
gugdrkore'a kuce'o le gugdrnafganistana kuce'o le gugdrkenia kuce'o le
gugdrtrinidada kuce'o le xanto denci xaskoi gugde .iku'i mi zmadu .u'a le
gugdrlixtenctaine .i lenu go'i cu pluka nuzba .i zmadu pluka fau le nu'o nu
le gugdrlixtenctaine cu se nunjvi la olimpik

Relating to "What is responsible?"

I am not an expert in (gymnast) athlete's feats. However, I start to understand
that we who are Greek are not quite successful in things do to with the
competition of the Olympic at Tokyo. Specifically we could exceed that of
the actual in the amount of success. I hear, The complete amount of winning
was where we were exceeded by K, A, K, T, IC. However we exceed (gain!) L.
This is pleasing news. More pleasing in the event of the (could have happened
but didn't) event: L is a competator in the competition Olympic.

ni'o ro prenu ca te preti fi lu ma fuzme li'u .ija'o lo so'imei cu fuzme ji'u
lo cmalu nu mi puzi retysisku fi le zajbrnatleta cecmu


retysisku: question seek: x1 questions x2 and seeks for x2, asking question of
x3.

.ipamai le brife cu to'e mapti mi .i ca ronu lomi prenu cu bajryjvi fi le mitre
beli panono gi'onai pi'ejvi fi le nunclapi'e gi'onai re'ojvi fi tu'a le kilga'a
kei ru snada lenu le brife cu to'e mapti .i le fange noroi go'i li'a .iza'a
le fange kuce le brife cu mabla ke tugni jasysnu .ije ri roroi sarji ra .isu'a
le brife cu jarco tai roda lenu ckaji lo stodi ka xelxei

bajryjvi: run-compete: x1 runs and competes with x2 in x3 etc. Similarly
pi'ejvi: jump-compete; clapi'e: long jump; re'ojvi: throw-compete. kilga'a:
sharp rod (pointy stick). jasysnu: diplomatic discussion. xelxei: Greek-hater.


.iremai le bajrystu cu dukse leni cilmo
.icimai le bajrystu cu duske leni sudga

bajrystu: running site

.ivomai selxlupai xrani .i mi na djuno le jaitai snada be lenu go'i .iku'i le
jvipai roroi fapro mi .i zo'e ji'u.e'a cusku ledu'u lenu go'i cu natmi se stati
mi to lenu .ue le jvipai cu sarji mi cu nibli lenu ga da cfila mi gi de cfila
le jvipai toi

selxlupai: influenced judge: biased judge. jvipai: competator judge: referee.

.imumai mi sludemycro
.ixamai su'a mi tordu kresku .i tu'a mi se fuzme lenu le bajrystu cu cilmo .e
lenu le bajrystu na cilmo .e lenu brife .e lenu na brife .e lenu carvi .e lenu
solgu'i .e lenu dilnu .e lenu puzi citka le dukse kei .e lenu puzi citka noda
kei .e lenu puze'u na cpacu lo xatra kei .e lenu na puzi jinga fo tu'a le
jmaboi nunjvi cundinkei .iji'a mi se xlali nu'i lenu jivna pu le dedmidju kei
ki'u lenu pu'i camcikna nu'u.e lenu jivna ba le dedmidju kei ki'u lenu ca
djarunta .isu'a mi se xlali lonu jivna .i lei puzi se cusku cu so'omei lei
velci'i poi caza se cusku .iku'i mi va'o lenu xamgu to jo'u xlali toi djica cu
ka'e facki lo drata

sludemycro: dense muscle pain: cramp. kresku: recur-express. solgu'i: sunshine.
jmaboi: foot-ball (place structure? analysis? ugh! this is no dikyjvo)
cundinkei: cunso ke jdini kelci: random (money game): gambling. dedmidju:
midday. camcikna: intensely awake: wide awake. Note termset used (nu'i...nu'u):
see recent response to Mark Shoulson for clarification.

.imu'ubo zemai nu darlu tu'a le tutrkipro .i leimi zajbrnatleta ca le
cabna tcini cu.ei so'iroi carmi jundi .iti'e pu lenu co'a clapi'ejvi fa
loi drapre .eji'a lo brito kei le zajyctu cu to'ecla ve notci fi le kerlo
be lemi prenu lu ko no'e carmi tu'a le brito li'u .iseki'ubo ge le brito
cu pamoi gi lemi prenu cu remumoi;

tutrkipro: (territory) Cyprus. drapre: other person. zajyctu: gymnast teacher:
coach (by extension). to'ecla: unloud.

.ibimai nu mi rolzda snada loi drata .i.eiro'apa'e mi na djica lenu snada
roda .i mi jinga le la nobel. cnemu .i lemi prenu cu jinga lenu se cmene
lu munje ke fetnalspe mebrai li'u .i.e'a lo fange cu jinga su'oda
.isomai nu seltru le gugdrturki,e vau.ua .ilenu go'i cu punai se cusku
su'oda .ije mi gleki lenu mi pamoi le'i cusku be ra .i lenu seltru le
gugdrturki,e cu fuzme je'u lo so'amei .ija'ebo .e'e fuzme le se lifri be mi
beivi la tokios .ijonaili'a la tokios. fuzme le se lifri be mi beica lenu
seltru le gugdrturki,e;

rolzda: all-house: world. I didn't come up with it - anyone willing to admit
to it? munje ke fetnalspe mebrai: universe (female unmarried most beautiful).
gugdrturki,e: (country) Turkey. seltru: se turni.

ni'o.ie lemi zajbrnatleta na fuzme .i lemi xaupre cu gasnu ro se kakne
.i se xamgu lenu ra mo'u klama la tokios. iji'uso'oda lenu go'i cu nu
snada

xaupre: good man. See Ringo Starr article.

.i fuzme fa le ciste .i su'oda cfila le ciste be le la olimpik. nunjvi
.i mipeziku ba'o le nanca be li xabi beiba le pamoi bele'i la olimpik.
nunjvi beica la 1896nan. cu cabdei vajycru lu galfi .ei le ciste mu'i lenu
se cnemu le solji li'u

vajycru: important utter (weak, I know)."I right here, after the 68-year
duration after the first of the olympics in 1896...). cabdei: today.

ni'o le cnino ciste cu.ei fendi le gugde loi klesi .i ro gugde cu jivna le
se mitlei .ija'ebo le'i la olimpik jinga .e leni pajvrude cu zmadu

se mitlei: one of the same class. pajvrude: judge virtue: justice.

.ipamaimu'a le pamoi klesi cu se cmima le merko .e le softo .i ri .e ra cu
zunti mi co'a la 1896nan. i mi canai se zdile lego'i .iju'a.e'o ri simxu
daspo gi'e co'u raktu mi vau ca le nunjvi

 .i remai le remoi cu se cmima ro se manskapi .i mi na sarji lenu remska
ke cecmu fendi .iku'i lei se manskapi puze'a ckaji le fanza ka lidne cinmo
pe lomele se zajbnratletika .iji'a lego'i cu jinga so'i jvine'u

se manskapi: those with dark skin. remska ke cecmu fendi: human-colour (social
division). jvine'u: winning reward: trophy, medal

.i mi pensi le bajryjvi befi la maraton. beira'i le gugdrnetiopia be'o noi
claxu leka jikca xaujdi kei ja'e lenu jinga re la olimpik. lamji nunjvi
cnemu gi'ega'i se jamfu le lunbe caku .ije'u mi na zanru lenu lo se
zajbrnatleta cu gubgau lei cfila be le cecmu jditai be levo'a jecta .i
mi fau lenu loi se gugdrnetiopia cu claxu lo cutci cu.e'u se vencu ri gi'e
dunda ri ra .ifaubo lo se gugdrnetiopia banai bajryjvi fi la maraton.

ka jikca xaujdi: socialising (good judgement): tact. gubgau: public act:
publicise. jditai: judge behaviour. gugdrnetopia: Ethiopia.

.icimai se xamgu lenu le cimoi cu se cmima ro clapre .i.i'u ronu tatpi bo
bajryjvi je pi'ejvi cu ve jinga fo lo se claxadni zajbrnatleta .i mi ji'u
lenu mi na se krati lo clapre le la olimpik. nunjvi ba'o la ni'u344nan. cu
ka'e kumfa sarji la'elu kodoi clapre cu xrukla le zdani li'u

clapre: long person. Meant to be tall person, but how do you say tall (as
opposed to high?) I think it will have to do. tatpi bo bajryjvi je pi'ejvi:
(tiring run-competition) and jump-competition. claxadni: long body. xrukla:
x1 return-goes to x2

.ivomai vomoi klesi .i ro zajbrnatleta poi na'e ropno .ija'ebo mi vimcu
leji'a ponjo noi.u'anai se manskapi najenai clapre gi'eku'i jinga so'isai
jivne'u

.imumai vi se cmima ro zajbrnatleta poi se gugde lo te nizyxa'u befi li
za'ubipimuki'oki'o .ili'a le namcu no'u li bipimuki'oki'o cu curve snuti
.i na srana lo steci gugde .i mi puzika'e cusku lu pare li'u .onai lu pamu li'u
.iku'i seja'e lenu mi cusku lu bipimu li'u cu.e'u za'ubipimuki'oki'omei

nizyxa'u: x1 is the amount by which x2 inhabits x3.

.iseni'ibo xamai le xamoi cu se cmima lo gugde poi te nizyxa'u fi li me'ibipimu
ki'oki'o .i le tcini ca'o xamgu .i mi ca'a vimcu le gugdrbrito .e le gugdrdotco
.e le gugdrnitalia .e le gugdrfraso .e le gugdrpolska .iku'i stali fa so'o
vlipa nemu'u le gugdrmagiara .e le gugdrnorge .e le gugdrdanmarka .isemu'ibo
tu'a le ciste .ei vi carmi se troci

.izemai vi se cmima lo gugde poi te nizyxa'u fili me'ibipimuki'oki'o gi'e
pu seltru le gugdrturki,e .i zo'e ca'a jetycipra lenu lenu seltru le
gugdrturki,e cu roroi jdikyri'a leni le zajbrnatleta cu snada gunka to lenu
na jdikyri'a cu nibli fu'i lenu lepu'u seltru le gugdrturki,e cu se cfila toi
keikeivau

jetycipra: test that x2 is true (succesfully? Maybe that should be jetfakci).
jdikyri'a: event x1 reduces x2


.ija'ebo mi co'u se raktu tu'a le gugdrdanmarka .e le gugdrnorge .iku'i mi ca'o
go'i le gugdrmagiara noi pa'a prije xamgu fi lenu seltru le gugdrturki,e

.ibimai le bimoi klesi cu se cmima lo gugde poi te nizyxa'u fili me'ibipimu
ki'oki'o gi'e pu seltru le gugdrturki,e gi'e ca cmima la NATOn. ija'ebo mi
vimcu leji'a gugdrmagiara gi'e.u'a jarco fi ri fe lenu xrani lenu na cmima la
NATOn.

.i ca nabmi fa la'elu le gugdrxelso cu.ei cmima le xomoi klesi mu'i lenu jinga
le pamoi cnemu pe levo'a klesi li'u

.ipe'i tu'a mi cu se nizla'e li so'i .iku'i mi ji'u lenu noda djuno ro ba fasnu
pe lemi zajbrnatleta zi'enemu'u le jaitai cikybi'o be ri beica le nunjvi
dinri .e lenu ra caku xalbo .e lenu caku na dukse citka ganse cu.e'u cmima
le somoi

nizla'e: x1 is the amount by which x2 is probable under x3. cikybi'o: awake
becoming.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Nick Nicholas, Melbourne Uni, Australia.  nsn@{munagin.ee|mullauna.cs}.mu.oz.au
"Despite millions of dollars of research, death continues to be this nation's
number one killer"      - Henry Gibson, Kentucky Fried Movie
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