Message-Id: <9202141211.AA07433@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu>
Date:         Fri, 14 Feb 1992 23:08:38 +1100
Reply-To: cbmvax!uunet!MULLIAN.EE.MU.OZ.AU!cuvmb.cc.columbia.edu!nsn
Sender: Lojban list <cbmvax!uunet!CUVMA.BITNET!cuvmb.cc.columbia.edu!LOJBAN>
From: cbmvax!uunet!MULLIAN.EE.MU.OZ.AU!cuvmb.cc.columbia.edu!nsn
Subject:      Re: oops - forgot the text. Helps to include the lojban text
              after
To: John Cowan <cowan@SNARK.THYRSUS.COM>,
        Eric Raymond <eric@SNARK.THYRSUS.COM>,
        Eric Tiedemann <est@SNARK.THYRSUS.COM>
In-Reply-To:  Your message of "Thu, 13 Feb 92 02:52:40 CDT."
Status: RO

What, my friends, is this? Has one Robert LeChevalier of Washington DC decided
to post Lojban text here?! Let him beware! :)

I don't know the song. It sounds like a ballad, all the right turns of phrase
are there, but I think your translation has gone awry. Since I have not yet
seen the English text you cryptically alude to in the title, I'll attempt to
back-translate:


>giving the commentary - hit the send button too soon:

Well it hasn't materialised here.

>.ai sanga le selsanga
>ko selsanga sanga

{.i} left out here. Yes, Lojban translation matching the rhythm is nasty. This
is why I haven't yet done any. I think my Wallops #3 was the *first* translation
of a song in the right metre - unfortunately, it's a metre probably unknown
outside Polish and early Esperanto. (For your reference: the "Polish 8-syllable"
allows these four patterns to be used: "deDUMde DUMde deDUMde DUMde", "deDUMde
DUMde DUMde deDUMde", "DUMde deDUMde deDUMde DUMde", "DUMde deDUMde DUMde
deDUMde".)


>.i sanga file lunra falo ramcri fekpre
>poi terbajli'a le casygri
>zi'e noi glekypre je badrytaisma
>gi'e badryselru'i je nalgeiflira
>gi'e citka no selcti gi'e djica no selci
>gi'e cmodji lenu nolni'u prami
>.a'onai ro'i
>.iu.u'anai  .uuse'icai
>gi'e citka no selcti gi'e djica no selci
>gi'e cmodji lenu nolni'u prami

I will sing a song.
You! song-sing (a phrase I find highly inappropriate and artless. Do better,
Bob)
Sing of the moon, does a lovelorn fool
who runs-from/leaves a group of mockers.
[the terbajli'a expands to te bajra cliva, to my mind, rather than teke bajra
cliva. I find it improbable that Lojbab used the archaic x3 of bajra. teke
bajra cliva has as its x1 the x1 of te cliva, which makes no sense. Bob, did
*you* write this? Let's just go with bajli'a, OK?]
And he's a happy person and sad-behaving silent [badrysma would have been
quite sufficient]
and he has a sad spirit [or: soul] and an unhappy face [that should be
se nalgeiflira]
and he eats no food and drinks no cell.
[cell?! and I can think of no gismu for which this is a typo]
and painfully wants queen love.
Oh Leide! Weh! Oh Leide!
Ax aman aman ali kai trisalimono mou!
etc.

Hmf. Decent translation, but too sloppy with the details to be Bob's. And
not pedantic enough. I don't think Lojbab goes for the {file} convention.

Colin, this yours?

I dunno. This is neither rigorous lojban, nor vigorous. The gleki - badri -
badri - nalgei sequence is somehow prosaic, and the {terbajli'a le casygri}
is deadwood (in the original, I suspect it would not have been that much of
a non sequitur). I mean, it's alright, but it lacks fire.

Can anything in Lojban have fire?

Dunno that either.