Return-Path: <@FINHUTC.HUT.FI:LOJBAN@CUVMB.BITNET>
Received: from FINHUTC.hut.fi by xiron.pc.helsinki.fi  with smtp
	(Linux Smail3.1.28.1 #1) id m0rDE3t-00007FC; Thu, 1 Dec 94 18:08 EET
Message-Id: <m0rDE3t-00007FC@xiron.pc.helsinki.fi>
Received: from FINHUTC.HUT.FI by FINHUTC.hut.fi (IBM VM SMTP V2R2)
   with BSMTP id 0078; Thu, 01 Dec 94 18:09:01 EET
Received: from SEARN.SUNET.SE (NJE origin MAILER@SEARN) by FINHUTC.HUT.FI (LMail V1.1d/1.7f) with BSMTP id 0075; Thu, 1 Dec 1994 18:08:58 +0200
Received: from SEARN.SUNET.SE (NJE origin LISTSERV@SEARN) by SEARN.SUNET.SE
 (LMail V1.2a/1.8a) with BSMTP id 8374; Thu, 1 Dec 1994 17:05:34 +0100
Date:         Thu, 1 Dec 1994 16:06:29 MET
Reply-To:     Goran Topic <topic@MATH.HR>
Sender:       Lojban list <LOJBAN%CUVMB.bitnet@FINHUTC.hut.fi>
From:         Goran Topic <topic@MATH.HR>
Subject:      Re: TEXT: pemci
X-To:         Lojban Listserv <lojban@cuvmb.cc.columbia.edu>
To:           Veijo Vilva <veion@XIRON.PC.HELSINKI.FI>
Content-Length: 1456
Lines: 40

>      lo ni fa le vi nanmu cu pinji
>      vau bancu le lakne zei linji
>      .i zmabra .i gohu
>      cu mukti .oirohu
>      le spepli be lo cmadesminji
>
> ----
> And


Translation:
(Amount-of: the-man-here is a penis) type-of
exceeder of probable-line
. Bigger. That
motivates <sexual discomfort>
spouse-use of vibrator

Comments on the language:
1. The {fa} is not necessary (just a 'warning', not an 'error' - if you do C
   programming - like, dunno if you wanted it there, so I better warn you :))
2. I believe you want {se pinji} in the first line...
3. You better put in a {cu} after {vau}, or replace the {vau} with {ku},
   else you wind up making a tanru {ni}+{bancu}, and you don't get a
   complete sentence
4. Your use of {linji} is metaphorical - doesn't work for boundary (sorry
   to ruin your rhyme) - {linji} is 1-dimensional, continuous set of points.
5. I find {spepli} quite vague for a lujvo - tanru would be quite OK.

I am so sorry to rain on your parade, but it just doesn't work... Though
I appreciate your effort. Anyway, I don't think I have enough guts to
venture into writing a poem in lojban with my knowledge... I really admire
you guys who can. :) I just wish everybody would try to use more lojban.
But maybe that's just me. TTYL...

co'o mi'e. goran.


--
Learn languages! The more langs you know, the more incomprehensible you can get
e'udoCILreleiBANgu.izo'ozo'onairoBANguteDJUnobedocubanRI'a.ailekadonaka'eSELjmi