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Date:         Thu, 10 Aug 1995 15:36:23 EDT
Reply-To:     jorge@PHYAST.PITT.EDU
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From:         jorge@PHYAST.PITT.EDU
Subject:      Re: A filk song, please somebody, check it
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To:           Veijo Vilva <veion@XIRON.PC.HELSINKI.FI>
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Ok, here're my comments:

> me lo fasnrtulumu pebu'u la zagreb. .i fu'e

What's a tulum? And what's a filk?

> pa no no la xrvat. klama le xarfikygri
> .i ri cu cnino so'e lo ra .ui

{so'e lo ra} is not grammatical. It should be {so'e ra}
or {so'e lu'a ra} or {so'e go'i} or ...

> .i ko .au zvati mu'i lenu tcelau
> gi'e noda selbai co pinxe lo rigjau

You need a selbri after {gi'e}. You could say {mu'i le nu tcelau
gi'enai se bapli co pinxe lo rigjau}.

Jorge