Received: from PSUVM.PSU.EDU (psuvm.psu.edu [128.118.56.2]) by locke.ccil.org (8.6.9/8.6.10) with SMTP id RAA16153 for ; Thu, 10 Aug 1995 17:05:43 -0400 Message-Id: <199508102105.RAA16153@locke.ccil.org> Received: from PSUVM.PSU.EDU by PSUVM.PSU.EDU (IBM VM SMTP V2R2) with BSMTP id 9965; Thu, 10 Aug 95 16:42:55 EDT Received: from PSUVM.PSU.EDU (NJE origin LISTSERV@PSUVM) by PSUVM.PSU.EDU (LMail V1.2a/1.8a) with BSMTP id 5627; Thu, 10 Aug 1995 15:36:15 -0400 Date: Thu, 10 Aug 1995 15:36:23 EDT Reply-To: jorge@PHYAST.PITT.EDU Sender: Lojban list From: jorge@PHYAST.PITT.EDU Subject: Re: A filk song, please somebody, check it X-To: lojban@cuvmb.cc.columbia.edu To: John Cowan Status: OR X-From-Space-Date: Thu Aug 10 17:05:47 1995 X-From-Space-Address: <@PSUVM.PSU.EDU:LOJBAN@CUVMB.BITNET> Ok, here're my comments: > me lo fasnrtulumu pebu'u la zagreb. .i fu'e What's a tulum? And what's a filk? > pa no no la xrvat. klama le xarfikygri > .i ri cu cnino so'e lo ra .ui {so'e lo ra} is not grammatical. It should be {so'e ra} or {so'e lu'a ra} or {so'e go'i} or ... > .i ko .au zvati mu'i lenu tcelau > gi'e noda selbai co pinxe lo rigjau You need a selbri after {gi'e}. You could say {mu'i le nu tcelau gi'enai se bapli co pinxe lo rigjau}. Jorge