Date:  Fri, 7 Nov 1997 10:24:07 -0500 (EST)
Message-Id: <199711071524.KAA24780@locke.ccil.org>
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From: Mark Vines <vinesm@wholefoods.com>
Subject:      seitu'a lu la .eim. li'u
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To: John Cowan <cowan@LOCKE.CCIL.ORG>
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  seitu'a lu la .eim. li'u

  .i mipu zuze'a campa'i lo ninmu
  .y po'u la .eim.i lo vu drata nanmu
  la .eim. cavu prami  .i le go'i sipna
  .y bu'u la .eim.i jeje'a mi speni
  pa lo drata ninmu poi mi puza cuxna
  .i leni mi pluka le speni ca caxno
  fo tu'a la .eim.au fe leka cinpu'a
  .i.u'u ki'uma le nuse cnope'u
  la .eim. kei selmo'i  .i la.eim. ca selsne
  mi vile mi speni  .i.oimi se lasna
  fi le ba'o prami  .i mi za'o cinmo
  fi tu'a la .eim.noi ri miba na cnemu
  .i koba mo'isti la .eim.e le purci
  doi mi gi'e kurji le mi terspe pruce

  co'omi'e markl.


coi doi lobypli

Of course, once a poem has been published, its
enunciation & meaning escape the poet's control.
Even so, I want to explain, in English, some of my
intentions for {lu la .eim. li'u}.

My nonstandard use of compound cmavo was intended
to convey rhythmic emphasis, by exploiting the rule
about stressing the penultimate syllable of a word
that has more than one syllable.

I combined pairs of {denpa bu} into singles, & even
compounded cmene & cmavo together, for much the
same reason.

Here is the stress pattern that my nonstandard
compounds were intended to convey:

  .i MI pu zu ZE'a camPA'i lo NINmu
  .y PO'u la .EIM.  .i lo VU drata NANmu
  la .EIM. ca vu PRAmi  .i LE go'i SIPna
  .y BU'u la .EIM.  .i je JE'a mi SPEni
  pa LO drata NINmu poi MI pu za CUxna
  .i LE ni mi PLUka le SPEni ca CAxno
  fo TU'a la .EIM. .au fe LEka cinPU'a
  .i .U'u ki'U ma le NU se cnoPE'u
  la .EIM. kei selMO'i  .i LA .eim. ca SELsne
  mi VI le mi SPEni  .i .OI mi se LAsna
  fi LE ba'o PRAmi  .i MI za'o CINmo
  fi TU'a la .EIM. noi ri MI ba na CNEmu
  .i KO ba mo'Isti la .EIM. .e le PURci
  doi MI gi'e KURji le MI terspe PRUce

Each line has 12 syllables, the 2nd, 5th, 8th &
11th of which should be stressed.

Yes, I had to use {.y} twice in order to maintain
that pattern.

The poem has 7 couplets.  In each couplet, the
last 3 or 4 consonants of one line have the same
values & the same sequence as the last 3 or 4
consonants in the other line.  The vowels & their
positions are irrelevant in this {velrimni klesi}.

The poem's narrative content is that of a dramatic
monologue, in the mode of a soap-opera vignette.
There are hints that the narrator is male.

The narrator opens by recalling a woman, the
eponymous {la .eim.}, whom he loved intensely for
some time long ago.  This woman is now remote,
loved by one or more other men, with whom she
shares her bed.  And yes, the narrator is married
to another woman, whom he chose in the less distant
past.  But he does not please his wife as deeply as
he once pleased {la .eim.}.  He asks why he keeps
remembering sex with {la .eim.}.  He still dreams
of her while he sleeps beside his wife.  He
complains about being bound to his former lover.
The emotion he feels has outlived its time, & {la
.eim.} will not reward him for feeling it.

The last couplet presents what is called, in
English poetics, the dramatic turn.  In it, the
narrator commands himself to forget {la .eim.} &
his past with her, & focus instead on the process
of making his marriage work.

I would welcome any comments or criticisms or
suggestions for improving the poem.

co'omi'e markl.