From jjllambias2000@yahoo.com.ar Sat Apr 26 15:25:46 2003 Return-Path: X-Sender: jjllambias2000@yahoo.com.ar X-Apparently-To: lojban@yahoogroups.com Received: (EGP: mail-8_2_6_6); 26 Apr 2003 22:25:45 -0000 Received: (qmail 24402 invoked from network); 26 Apr 2003 22:25:45 -0000 Received: from unknown (66.218.66.216) by m1.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; 26 Apr 2003 22:25:45 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO web20510.mail.yahoo.com) (216.136.226.145) by mta1.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 26 Apr 2003 22:25:45 -0000 Message-ID: <20030426222545.91141.qmail@web20510.mail.yahoo.com> Received: from [200.69.2.52] by web20510.mail.yahoo.com via HTTP; Sat, 26 Apr 2003 15:25:45 PDT Date: Sat, 26 Apr 2003 15:25:45 -0700 (PDT) Subject: Re: [lojban] lo djedi poi canai paroi zasti To: lojban@yahoogroups.com In-Reply-To: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii From: Jorge "Llambías" X-Yahoo-Group-Post: member; u=142311107 X-Yahoo-Profile: jjllambias2000 X-Yahoo-Message-Num: 19434 la sanxiyn cusku di'e > pinli'i: p1=l1 is the horizon in frame of reference p2 I propose {tankoi}, or {tantedykoi}. Or also {tanxaskoi} for this poem. > ni'o doi lo kakyjau goi ko'a ge'u > e ri noi smucau do'u > mi na jimpe zi'o leka ko'a sinxa ce'u I don't think the song is addressed to the tears, otherwise it would be "I know not what _you_ mean". I would use a topic prenex here: {ni'o lo kakyjau noi smucau zo'u mi na jimpe ...} Also, I'm not sure about that property in the x3 of jimpe. I would have said {mi na jimpe le du'u ko'a sinxa makau}. > i ko'a klama ra'i le su'o cevni tolpa'a > veka'a lo risna seka'a lo kanla > ca lenu catlu le selgei te critu je purdi > e lenu pensi lo djedi goi ko'e ge'u > poi canai paroi zasti You need {kei} before {e}, otherwise the second {le nu ...} is joined to {le selgei ...} I prefer {poi na za'o zasti} for "that are no more". I don't understand how {paroi} fits there. (Another option would be {poi xa'o na zasti}, where {xa'o} is the experimental ZAhO meaning "occurring before the expected beginning of", similar to "already", the counterpart of {za'o}. So {xa'o na} is "already not", "no longer" or "no more".) > ni'o ko'e betri je cizra vetai Isn't that ko'a? > leka ce'u ti'u le manku je murse po lo crisa ku {ti'u} is really for clock time. Here I think you just want {ca}. > me le liryrai be lo'i selsa'a > be lo cipni poi milxe cikna be'o > bei tega'a lo kerlo po'e le caca'o morsi goi ko'u ge'u Perhaps you could just say {liryrai} instead of {me le litytai}, saving yourself some be-beis as well. > je me lo canko poi snobi'o le kandi kurfa > be tega'a lo kanla po'e ko'u je? As something that is both the earliest pipe AND the casement? Perhaps {ca le nu le canko cu snobi'o lo kandi kurfa} Also, I would definitely use {be} instead of {po'e} with {kerlo} and {kanla} > ni'o ko'e dirba du'i le nu cinba Again, I think it is ko'a that the song is still describing. > poi se morji ze'aba le nu morsi {ba le nu mrobi'o} or {ba le nu co'a morsi}, I suppose. > i condi du'i le prami e le pamoi ri {du'i le nu prami e le pamoi be ri} > gi'e cfipu ri'a le ro nunxe'u vau > doi morsi jmive fa ko'e Very nice translation, though ending every stanza with {ko'e} does not have quite the same reinforcing effect as ending them with "the days that are no more". Why not be more repetitive in Lojban too? mu'o mi'e xorxes __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo. http://search.yahoo.com