From lojban+bncCMHEmaCOBhDX0LXkBBoEWOjJug@googlegroups.com Sun Sep 12 16:55:23 2010 Received: from mail-ww0-f61.google.com ([74.125.82.61]) by chain.digitalkingdom.org with esmtp (Exim 4.72) (envelope-from ) id 1OuwOB-0002q5-RU; Sun, 12 Sep 2010 16:55:23 -0700 Received: by wwe15 with SMTP id 15sf893955wwe.16 for ; Sun, 12 Sep 2010 16:55:08 -0700 (PDT) DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=googlegroups.com; s=beta; h=domainkey-signature:received:x-beenthere:received:received:received :received:received-spf:received:mime-version:received:received :in-reply-to:references:date:message-id:subject:from:to :x-original-sender:x-original-authentication-results:reply-to :precedence:mailing-list:list-id:list-post:list-help:list-archive :sender:list-subscribe:list-unsubscribe:content-type; bh=X+PxeKQJtdDpxyJeZ0agtrGDDCC5AQPOEc7KkT/aNpI=; b=Mt8lm0/P1f51bRbLBQPcBrmGI1HYTw35ZTs9QhOa6hk9l8K/0MqEWoXth8CkxJNBMf GtIHABnUre0uQhQjtK1szm2+Sc1/XuSjyMWyyCzjY6RkpuYwJEAQxxA+xCOE0V43UXIW 715QUnr1dhM5ZSPMe++6PTfAFkKRzz9qBu5h0= DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; d=googlegroups.com; s=beta; h=x-beenthere:received-spf:mime-version:in-reply-to:references:date :message-id:subject:from:to:x-original-sender :x-original-authentication-results:reply-to:precedence:mailing-list :list-id:list-post:list-help:list-archive:sender:list-subscribe :list-unsubscribe:content-type; b=YsyLKfIEd6SuPNMEIjHsT13/Z51khviMBf1pam+Ev+xoyAvb1Jd2EBAjgCWtJJkDOn 3ojppqUQD6dF13wMaTSUY8ko72hHG/+Z9MJvQNZLbB+EDtZLqcQX1ED+QZVn3+sOVT7K T7ZAFSdlCNs38FdpIPCF5i7cyrGxG/q+adrug= Received: by 10.216.144.67 with SMTP id m45mr385051wej.2.1284335703613; Sun, 12 Sep 2010 16:55:03 -0700 (PDT) X-BeenThere: lojban@googlegroups.com Received: by 10.227.92.203 with SMTP id s11ls3512339wbm.1.p; Sun, 12 Sep 2010 16:55:02 -0700 (PDT) Received: by 10.227.148.4 with SMTP id n4mr200906wbv.0.1284335702514; Sun, 12 Sep 2010 16:55:02 -0700 (PDT) Received: by 10.227.148.4 with SMTP id n4mr200905wbv.0.1284335702461; Sun, 12 Sep 2010 16:55:02 -0700 (PDT) Received: from mail-wy0-f180.google.com (mail-wy0-f180.google.com [74.125.82.180]) by gmr-mx.google.com with ESMTP id ey20si2058028wbb.6.2010.09.12.16.55.01; Sun, 12 Sep 2010 16:55:01 -0700 (PDT) Received-SPF: pass (google.com: domain of eyeonus@gmail.com designates 74.125.82.180 as permitted sender) client-ip=74.125.82.180; Received: by wyb40 with SMTP id 40so5314661wyb.25 for ; Sun, 12 Sep 2010 16:55:01 -0700 (PDT) MIME-Version: 1.0 Received: by 10.216.186.207 with SMTP id w57mr1947493wem.19.1284335701261; Sun, 12 Sep 2010 16:55:01 -0700 (PDT) Received: by 10.216.22.199 with HTTP; Sun, 12 Sep 2010 16:55:01 -0700 (PDT) In-Reply-To: References: Date: Sun, 12 Sep 2010 17:55:01 -0600 Message-ID: Subject: Re: [lojban] le virnu smani blozeile'a From: Jonathan Jones To: lojban@googlegroups.com X-Original-Sender: eyeonus@gmail.com X-Original-Authentication-Results: gmr-mx.google.com; spf=pass (google.com: domain of eyeonus@gmail.com designates 74.125.82.180 as permitted sender) smtp.mail=eyeonus@gmail.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@gmail.com Reply-To: lojban@googlegroups.com Precedence: list Mailing-list: list lojban@googlegroups.com; contact lojban+owners@googlegroups.com List-ID: List-Post: , List-Help: , List-Archive: Sender: lojban@googlegroups.com List-Subscribe: , List-Unsubscribe: , Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=001485f1e2e83efefc049018b5f6 --001485f1e2e83efefc049018b5f6 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 On Sun, Sep 12, 2010 at 3:08 PM, Remo Dentato wrote: > I've a first draft of the translation for a new jbove'a cukta. The > title is "The Brave Monkey Pirate" > > This is much more complex than the first on I made, so I expect to > find a lot of mistakes in this draft. Some of the pages were above my > level, I hope I've been able to render them more or less. > > You can find the translation here: > http://www.dentato.com/the-brave-monkey-pirate-jbo-review.pdf > > It would be interesting for me to know how much of it is > understandable without looking at the original which is here: > http://bluebison.net/books/monkey-pirate/pps/the-brave-monkey-pirate.pps > > (note that the powerpoint presentation has one page more than the PDF > version at > http://bluebison.net/books/monkey-pirate/the-brave-monkey-pirate.pdf, > that's why I started from that one). > > Thanks for you corrections, comments and feedback. > > Remo > > -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "lojban" group. > To post to this group, send email to lojban@googlegroups.com. > To unsubscribe from this group, send email to > lojban+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com > . > For more options, visit this group at > http://groups.google.com/group/lojban?hl=en. > > Typos: {xaysjukni} on p.19: {xasyjukni}. {ganlu} on p. 24: {ganlo} {li ro} on p. 24: {li re}. Okay, so this is all word choice matters, I didn't find anything wrong grammatically. In {.i la modix. jo'u le mamta vu'o goi ko'a tervecnu lo stagi}: Why did you use {lo stagi}, for "groceries", instead of {lo cidja}, {lo pinxe}, {lo cidja .e lo pinxe}, {lo se citka}, or {lo se xagji}? In {gi'e cuxna lo cnino blozeile'a lanci betu'i le stakumfa}: The living room is "a room in a home used... for leisure activities, entertaining guests, etc.; parlor.", and is also called the common room. I would suggest using either {lo kampu kumfa} or {lo kumfa bepa'u loka surla}, {lo kumfa betefi'e loka surla} , or {lo surla kumfa}. In {... gi'e merli le ka lo my. ciblu cu danre kei ....}: I would suggest instead {...gi'e merli le ni my. ciblu danre kei ....}, "the quantity of (the blood type-of pressure) of M". In {gi'e darxi le my. cidni}: You might want to consider specifying that the doctor is checking his knees, as {lo cidni} can refer to any hinged joint- {tuple cidni} or {tupcidni}. In {...la modix. cu rere'u klama beki'u le jinku befi lo skorbuti .e zo'e}: I suggest {...la.modix. cu xruti klama beki'u....} or {... xrukla beki'u....}. Also, the English is "scurvy or something", but {lo skorbuti .e zo'e} is "scurvy and something". It should be {... .a zo'e}. In {.i le blozeile'a beme'e la modix. na nelci le je'erse'atci}: I suggest {... na nelci lo jesni pambe} or {... lo jespambe}. In {.i ca le vanci ki le patfu po la modix. klama le zdani .i my. skicu le nu klama be le mikce briju kei le patfu}: I suggest {... .ije my. skicu ....}. In {.i la modix. selgidva le cartu gi'e litru lo traji cilce xamsi}: I suggest {... le cartu ja'e lonu litru ....}. In {rivbi lo cicfe'u cizda'u noi dukse be le selterpa bei lenu le ta lisri cu skicu}: I suggest {... la selterpa ja'e lenu ...}, and you want {... lo ti lisri na skicu}. In {.i la modix. mo'u klama le bisli badydi'u tu'i lo cpana cmana}: I suggest {.i la.modix. to'e cliva ....} or {.i la.modix. tolcliva ....} or {... tolyli'a ....}. In {.i ne'i le badydi'u ....} I suggest {.i ne'i ri ....}, since the English is merely "Inside, ....". {ri} in this instance refers to {le bisli badydi'u tu'i lo cpana cmana}, unless I'm mistaken, in which case I'd suggest {ra}. In {.i le xasyjukni mafcre cu cusku lu ... mi kei mi ta noi rokci cu dunda do ....}: I suggest {... mi dunda lo ti rokci do ....}. In {.i ca'o le je'erse'a ....}: I suggest {.i ca'o lo jesni se pambe ...}. In {... ku ganai do mutce jgari le rokci ....}: I suggest {... do mutce danre jgari ....}. In {... gi muvgau do ba'o le je'erse'a ....}: I suggest {... gi do muvdu ba'o lo jesni se pambe....} In {.i le mikce cu sanga lo narcladu ca'o le nu le je'erse'a cu bredi seva'u la modix.} I suggest {... lo se pambe ....}. In {.i la modix cu stali ba'o le je'erse'a}: I suggest {lo se pambe cu mulno}. In {.i la modix. terdunda lo biskruji ca'o le nu klama bele zdani}: I suggest {.ije my. terdunda ....}. -- mu'o mi'e .aionys. .i.a'o.e'e ko klama le bende pe denpa bu -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "lojban" group. To post to this group, send email to lojban@googlegroups.com. To unsubscribe from this group, send email to lojban+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com. For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/lojban?hl=en. --001485f1e2e83efefc049018b5f6 Content-Type: text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
On Sun, Sep 12, 2010 at 3:08 PM, Remo Dentato <rdentato@gmail.co= m> wrote:
I've a first draft of the translation for a new jbove'a cukta. =A0T= he
title is "The Brave Monkey Pirate"

This is much more complex than the first on I made, so I expect to
find a lot of mistakes in this draft. Some of the pages were above my
level, I hope I've been able to render them more or less.

You can find the translation here:
=A0 =A0 http://www.dentato.com/the-brave-monkey-pirate-jb= o-review.pdf

It would be interesting for me to know how much of it is
understandable without looking at the original which is here:
=A0 http://bluebison.net/books/monkey-pirate/p= ps/the-brave-monkey-pirate.pps

(note that the powerpoint presentation has one page more than the PDF
version at http://bluebison.net/books/monkey-pirate= /the-brave-monkey-pirate.pdf,
that's why I started from that one).

Thanks for you corrections, comments and feedback.

Remo

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Typos:
{xaysjukni} on p.19: {xasyjukni}= .

{ganlu} on p. 24: {ganlo}
{li ro} on p. 24: {li re}.

Okay, so this is all word choice matters, I didn't find anything wrong= grammatically.

In {.i la modix. jo'u le mamta vu'o goi ko'a te= rvecnu lo stagi}:
Why did you use {lo stagi}, for "groceries",= instead of {lo cidja}, {lo pinxe}, {lo cidja .e lo pinxe}, {lo se citka}, = or {lo se xagji}?

In {gi'e cuxna lo cnino blozeile'a lanci betu'i le stakumfa= }:
The living room is "a room in a home used... for le= isure activities, entertaining guests, etc.; parlor.", and is a= lso called the common room. I would suggest using either {lo kampu kumfa} o= r {lo kumfa bepa'u loka surla}, {lo kumfa betefi'e loka surla} , or= {lo surla kumfa}.

In {... gi'e merli le ka lo my. ciblu cu danre kei ....}:
I woul= d suggest instead {...gi'e merli le ni my. ciblu danre kei ....}, "= ;the quantity of (the blood type-of pressure) of M".

In {gi'= ;e darxi le my. cidni}:
You might want to consider specifying that the doctor is checking his knees= , as {lo cidni} can refer to any hinged joint- {tuple cidni} or {tupcidni}.=

In {...la modix. cu rere'u klama beki'u le jinku befi lo sk= orbuti .e zo'e}:
I suggest {...la.modix. cu xruti klama beki'u....} or {... xrukla beki&= #39;u....}.
Also, the English is "scurvy or something", but {l= o skorbuti .e zo'e} is "scurvy and something". It should be {= ... .a zo'e}.

In {.i le blozeile'a beme'e la modix. na nelci le je'erse&#= 39;atci}:
I suggest {... na nelci lo jesni pambe} or {... lo jespambe}.<= br>
In {= .i ca le vanci ki le patfu po la modix. klama le zdani .i my. skicu le nu k= lama be le mikce briju kei le patfu}:
I suggest {... .ije my. skicu ....}.

In {.i la modix. selgidva le ca= rtu gi'e litru lo traji cilce xamsi}:
I suggest {... le cartu ja'= ;e lonu litru ....}.

In {rivbi lo cicfe'u cizda'u noi dukse = be le selterpa bei lenu le ta lisri cu skicu}:
I suggest {... la selterpa ja'e lenu ...}, and you want {... lo ti lisr= i na skicu}.

In {.i la modix. mo'u klama le bisli badydi'u t= u'i lo cpana cmana}:
I suggest {.i la.modix. to'e cliva ....} or= {.i la.modix. tolcliva ....} or {... tolyli'a ....}.

In {.i ne'i le badydi'u ....}
I suggest {.i ne'i ri ....= }, since the English is merely "Inside, ....". {ri} in this insta= nce refers to {le bisli badydi'u tu'i lo cpana cmana}, unless I'= ;m mistaken, in which case I'd suggest {ra}.

In {.i le xasyjukni mafcre cu cusku lu ... mi kei mi ta noi rokci cu du= nda do ....}:
I suggest {... mi dunda lo ti rokci do ....}.

In {.= i ca'o le je'erse'a ....}:
I suggest {.i ca'o lo jesni s= e pambe ...}.

In {... ku ganai do mutce jgari le rokci ....}:
I suggest {... do mu= tce danre jgari ....}.

In {... gi muvgau do ba'o le je'erse&= #39;a ....}:
I suggest {... gi do muvdu ba'o lo jesni se pambe....}<= br>
In {.i le mikce cu sanga lo narcladu ca'o le nu le je'erse'= a cu bredi seva'u la modix.}
I suggest {... lo se pambe ....}.
In {.i la modix cu stali ba'o le je'erse'a}:
I suggest {lo= se pambe cu mulno}.

In {.i la modix. terdunda lo biskruji ca'o le nu klama bele zdani}:=
I suggest {.ije my. terdunda ....}.

--
mu'o mi'e .ai= onys.

.i.a'o.e'e ko klama le bende pe denpa bu

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