Received: from [107.174.19.3] (port=44077 helo=goodhdlens.com) by stodi.digitalkingdom.org with esmtp (Exim 4.87) (envelope-from ) id 1cF0nN-0003D9-1i for lojban@lojban.org; Thu, 08 Dec 2016 07:39:45 -0800 Date: Thu, 08 Dec 2016 09:02:23 -0700 Subject: Holiday delivery #17456138: SharkTank greatest-gadget ever Mime-Version: 1 To: Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Content-Type: text/html; charset=us-ascii From: "Courtney George" Message-ID: <1c2c7e55fbfda4353ca10c7b6e541eeed-c2c7e55fbfda4353ca10c7b6e541eeed9.c2c7e55fbfda4353ca10c7b6e541eeed0-lojban@lojban.orgtuaf> X-Spam-Score: 2.9 (++) X-Spam_score: 2.9 X-Spam_score_int: 29 X-Spam_bar: ++ X-Spam-Report: Spam detection software, running on the system "stodi.digitalkingdom.org", has NOT identified this incoming email as spam. The original message has been attached to this so you can view it or label similar future email. If you have any questions, see the administrator of that system for details. Content preview: amazing gadgets availables The Best-Gadget Ever See how incredible it is Snap better photos that are 15x clearer Pops on fast Most popular Christmas gift for anyone [...] Content analysis details: (2.9 points, 5.0 required) pts rule name description ---- ---------------------- -------------------------------------------------- 0.0 URIBL_BLOCKED ADMINISTRATOR NOTICE: The query to URIBL was blocked. See http://wiki.apache.org/spamassassin/DnsBlocklists#dnsbl-block for more information. [URIs: goodhdlens.com] -0.0 SPF_PASS SPF: sender matches SPF record -0.0 SPF_HELO_PASS SPF: HELO matches SPF record 0.7 MIME_HTML_ONLY BODY: Message only has text/html MIME parts -1.9 BAYES_00 BODY: Bayes spam probability is 0 to 1% [score: 0.0000] 0.0 HTML_MESSAGE BODY: HTML included in message 1.9 RAZOR2_CF_RANGE_E8_51_100 Razor2 gives engine 8 confidence level above 50% [cf: 100] 0.5 RAZOR2_CF_RANGE_51_100 Razor2 gives confidence level above 50% [cf: 100] 0.9 RAZOR2_CHECK Listed in Razor2 (http://razor.sf.net/) 0.8 RDNS_NONE Delivered to internal network by a host with no rDNS 0.0 T_REMOTE_IMAGE Message contains an external image amazing gadgets availables
The Best-Gadget Ever
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I lost myself in the bluebells. Heart, mind, and soul. I know there was a moment where I was of this world, and then there was an instant when I felt odd, dizzy, estranged. I think that was the moment that the doorway opened. Though I didnt step through it. Not then. Not yet. We were talking, you and I, and we arrived at that ancient rock covered in thick lichen the exact color of marmalade, that outcrop poking up like a fist with a finger pointing to heaven. Thats what we always said: a marmalade finger pointing to heaven. I was planning to tell you about the argument Id had with Richie, about how it was all going wrong and what had happened that brought us to the brink of a big decision. I was pretty sure it was going to go only one way, but I hadnt told him yet. I was planning to discuss it with you, to see if there was a way that I could tell him that wouldnt hurt him. But something stopped me from telling you. It was the rock. There was a cloud of little golden beetles flying around the rock, their sleek backs glittering in the May sunshine like flints striking a stone. And so the golden light fizzed and crackled with hundreds of tiny sparks of wing light. You were astonished, too. You who were never amazed. We both stood and stared. It was like a blessing, it was like a gift. But I knew something was happening. And I forgot all about Richie, and I forgot all about telling you. I just watched the air fizz with tiny prickles of fire, knowing something was about to happen. The next day I asked Richie to come with me, here, to the bluebell woods. I was determined to tell him. I dont know why but I thought this was the right place to tell him it was over. I couldnt give him what he wanted. I would never do that again: take someone to a beautiful place to dump them! Its not a good idea. I think if it ever happened again I would take them to some industrial scrap heap to let them down. Its cruel to lay such things over a beautiful landscape. But anyway, I knew nothing in those days, and I thought it was poetic and the right thing to do. He just wouldnt have it. This is not going to happen is what Richie said to me that day. I told him, You can say what you want. He was angry and hurt. He cried. I cried. Then I ran away from him, ran through the woods, and I hid. See that outcrop of amber rocks over there I hid behind one of those rocks. He came shouting for me. Crying and shouting my name. I shrank behind the rock, and when he came round I circled back and sprinted toward the charcoal burners over there. He went off in the other direction calling my name. His voice became more distant and I ran back through the woods, up the slope, higher, crushing bluebells underfoot. I had no thought at that time of how I would get home. Richie had driven me there in his old Volkswagen Beetle with all those Rock Against Racism stickers on it. Hed parked the car on the grass shoulder of Breakback Lane, so I was careful to avoid that side of the Outwoods. I found another hanging stone covered in marmalade lichen among the bluebells, and I sat there with my back to the stone for an hour or maybe two. When I returned to where Richie had parked the car, hed gone. I was so relieved. There was an elderly couple walking back to their own car. Theyd been out for a stroll. I walked right up to them, looking tearful, and I lied and said my friend had left me stranded there because wed had an argument. They said what a shocking bad person he must be and that I should find myself a decent chap, one who wouldnt abandon a young like that. You dont know who is around in a place like this, the man said. A pretty like you. They offered to give me a lift home, which of course I accepted. They took me right to my door and made me promise that Id have nothing more to do with the lout who had abandoned me in the Outwoods, and I promised.
I dreamed of flying golden beetles. But they were like scarabs from an Egyptian tomb. And when they flew around me they would stop dead in the air and the frozen formation of them would spell out words in tiny sparks of fire and light. But I couldnt read the words; they would always break up just before I could make them out. When I woke in the morning there was a small scorch mark on the headboard of my bed, where my head had touched the pine panel. Do you remember I showed you. I told you my head was hot and that it had left a burn on the headboard and you snorted and said that was impossible. But I know.
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