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It was difficult to say when Mattei started to become suspicious. Tell me whats going on, she asked Zee directly. I dont mean with the symptoms, I mean in her life. Shes been having an affair, Zee confessed, feeling her face redden. And you didnt tell me this because... ? Doctorpatient confidentiality. Zee knew that this was a hot button with Mattei, who claimed to have enormous respect for doctorpatient confidentiality. Whats the real reason? Mattei said. That is the real reason, Zee insisted. Is the affair still going on? Yes, Zee said. What else is she doing? What do you mean, what else? Is she drinking, is she doing ? What other kinds of risky behavior is our socalled Mrs. Perfect indulging in? There was some triumph in Matteis voice as she asked. Shed begun calling Lilly Mrs. Perfect ever since Williams initial goddesslike description of her. No one was that perfect, Mattei had told him with Lilly right there. Perfect was a huge burden for any woman. Just the affair. Zee was aware that her stomach was churning. She wished she hadnt said anything. Her face felt hot and red. She wanted to throw up. In all the cases shed treated so far, nothing like this had ever happened to her. It was as if she had just confessed to the infidelity herself. Maybe you should take back this case, she said. Mattei seemed to think about it for a while before making her decision. No, she said. I dont have time to take on another patient. And youre not getting out of this that easily. Zee sat quietly as she waited for Mattei to mull over their plan of action. She thought about getting up and walking out of the office and never looking back. It had become her fantasy lately. Not yet five years into her practice, and she was already having burnedout escape fantasies. Not a good sign. Were upping her meds, Mattei said, reaching for her pad. She slid a prescription across the desk. As the new dosage of antiseizure medication started to work, Lilly seemed to come back to midrange. During the next several sessions and into the early fall, she drove herself to Boston and spoke in her sessions with Zee the way a more normal patient might have. She talked about going back to college, or at least taking a class or two. She talked about the competitive process of getting her son into their private school of choice. She had stopped seeing Adam, she told Zee. It had been very difficult for her. The medicine hadnt changed the fact that she thought she was in love with him. She said she believed that Adam was the great love of her life, her soul mate. But she was trying hard to do the right thing. For her ren. And for the man who used to be referred to simply as my husband and who had now taken on the permanent moniker of Sweet William. It seemed to work. Right up until Halloween weekend, when (as she later put it herself) all hell broke loose. First Lillys cat had disappeared. Shed looked everywhere, hanging posters all over town, calling all the neighbors. The ren were upset, especially her daughter, whod planned to carry the black cat she had named Reynaldo with her as part of her witch costume. But by Halloween night there was still no sign of the cat, and so her daughter had refused to wear the costume Lilly had made for her and refused to go trickortreating until Lilly took her downtown to buy another one. It had been raining intermittently on Halloween, so instead of paper bags Lilly had given them pillowcases in which to collect their candy, but her daughter was still little, and her pillowcase hung too low and dragged along the sidewalk as they went house to house. The kids had wanted to trickortreat alone, insisting that they were only going to the neighbors homes, that they wouldnt leave Gingerbread Hill. But Lilly wouldnt hear of it. Terrible things happened to ren all the time: razor blades in apples, kidnapping. No town was immune, not even Marblehead. She had always taken them trickortreating, and she wanted to go along. She even had a costume picked out for herselfor half a costume, at least. She still had on her jeans, but from the waist up she was Snow White, or a rather Disneyfied version of the famous beauty. She wore a black wig with a red bow, a halflength pink cape, and a blue shirt with puffy sleeves. In her hand she carried an apple. She was actually excited about going. But at the sight of Lilly dressed up and ready to walk with them, her daughter started to cry. Im not a baby! she insisted. And so Lilly walked behind them, staying in the shadows, watching while they knocked on the doors of her neighbors, and eventually eating the apple she carried house to house, dropping the core into a neighbors compost pile. When they got home, it was past their usual bedtime, though William was still at work. She had hoped to keep the ren up long enough for him to see their costumes, but tomorrow was a school day. They had their baths. She tucked them in. As she started down the stairs, she heard a noise from the basement. She decided it was the d, slapping the French dows theyd recently had put in.


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