Return-path: Envelope-to: lojban@lojban.org Delivery-date: Tue, 10 Aug 2021 06:52:09 -0700 Received: from [45.144.152.111] (port=57067 helo=mail.purestatisfaction4.club) by stodi.digitalkingdom.org with esmtp (Exim 4.94) (envelope-from ) id 1mDSAd-00HOmM-Tf for lojban@lojban.org; Tue, 10 Aug 2021 06:52:09 -0700 DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha1; c=relaxed/relaxed; s=dkim; d=purestatisfaction4.club; h=Date:From:To:Subject:MIME-Version:Content-Type:List-Unsubscribe:Message-ID; i=boyd-miller@purestatisfaction4.club; bh=ZrOempn1pstf3GIodEwEXhAj33Y=; b=AUOQpluPUtOQh78bNOaMRR6UX8prkkWyUEbuNmeix98DX9SBgUaKOgeTdIAFieTMSBNWue9XcjGk tTQJg9fk2eAzNEPzP6CoyrOxJyC+0jE2v5NCL2LpN8FZAbVIaQfP6sOGZsFmZ90IFeD02D3BR8Hw ucFhHyoiUeFpOkATZYs= DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; c=nofws; q=dns; s=dkim; d=purestatisfaction4.club; b=ok2E9NwxFJCCBEmluo1Dbs5sK5G9xcvwuuvMqnOUj03+wnLz0bQ/p2TSJZuljNHJGOxAP7fVVygr eJkeYYQit+xGD97HO8s2HGHuvs8wZqvYN2xCTXvl3uNxCk2+ZGV3g1y5JHxOvdmiAMTVDHIc0DZu TlAYO9uRRJL5fx789qk=; Received: by mail.purestatisfaction4.club id h2a2km0001g8 for ; Tue, 10 Aug 2021 09:52:01 -0400 (envelope-from ) Date: Tue, 10 Aug 2021 09:52:01 -0400 From: "Boyd Miller" To: Subject: Finally, The Ultimate Solution For Avoiding The Summer Heat! MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_Part_301_626467543.1628603040923" List-Unsubscribe: Message-ID: <0.0.0.33.1D78DEEE4F990AE.6DD6CC@mail.purestatisfaction4.club> X-Spam-Score: 3.1 (+++) X-Spam_score: 3.1 X-Spam_score_int: 31 X-Spam_bar: +++ X-Spam-Report: Spam detection software, running on the system "stodi.digitalkingdom.org", has NOT identified this incoming email as spam. The original message has been attached to this so you can view it or label similar future email. If you have any questions, see the administrator of that system for details. Content preview: ONE DAY LEFT! Daily Deal 50% OFF! On first inspection, CoolAir looks quite complex, but we were actually really shocked at how easy it is to use. Right out of the box, it looks like a much smaller version of a standard air conditionin [...] Content analysis details: (3.1 points, 5.0 required) pts rule name description ---- ---------------------- -------------------------------------------------- 0.8 BAYES_50 BODY: Bayes spam probability is 40 to 60% [score: 0.5000] 1.7 URIBL_BLACK Contains an URL listed in the URIBL blacklist [URIs: purestatisfaction4.club] -0.0 SPF_PASS SPF: sender matches SPF record 0.0 SPF_HELO_NONE SPF: HELO does not publish an SPF Record 0.0 HTML_MESSAGE BODY: HTML included in message 0.0 HTML_FONT_LOW_CONTRAST BODY: HTML font color similar or identical to background 0.0 MIME_QP_LONG_LINE RAW: Quoted-printable line longer than 76 chars -0.1 DKIM_VALID_EF Message has a valid DKIM or DK signature from envelope-from domain -0.1 DKIM_VALID_AU Message has a valid DKIM or DK signature from author's domain 0.1 DKIM_SIGNED Message has a DKIM or DK signature, not necessarily valid -0.1 DKIM_VALID Message has at least one valid DKIM or DK signature 0.8 RDNS_NONE Delivered to internal network by a host with no rDNS 0.0 T_REMOTE_IMAGE Message contains an external image ------=_Part_301_626467543.1628603040923 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit ONE DAY LEFT! Daily Deal 50% OFF! On first inspection, CoolAir looks quite complex, but we were actually really shocked at how easy it is to use. Right out of the box, it looks like a much smaller version of a standard air conditioning unit but without all the installation nightmares that come with it. You just fill up the internal tank with water, plug it into either a USB port such as a powerbank, or a wall outlet, and let it work its magic. Once it's on, it can cool any area of your home down in minutes. Take Up To 50% Off Today Only -> http://www.purestatisfaction4.club/7554V2395W86Zt10g47a0l83cX18BhscFDrfhscFDrEsvZ7zQuonQo7YH10QtI6zLNsvW/Koppers-fittingly If you have any questions, we are Hawking, Black, and Johl Publishing Group 34 Miller Rd. Farmingdale. NY, 11735. Edit prefs http://www.purestatisfaction4.club/5936g2z39N5iX86V10b4797u83cg18ahscFDrfhscFDrEsvZ7eQuonQo6lM1YU06PUsvL@/decomposable-bacteria ------=_Part_301_626467543.1628603040923 Content-Type: text/html; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 =20 =20 =20

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It was dark inside the wolf. Her swoll= en knees tucked at her chest. Her nightgown was covered in the slime of can= ine saliva. She had a gash in her leg from where the wolf had bit down. Her= own wound pooling within the barley stuffed stomach. 

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 Being gobbled up had not been on= Grandma's to-do list today. 

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The blood that pooled around her slosh= ed as the gaffer wolf stalked the room. Clanking through her belongings, fo= r God knew what. She could hear him still licking his chops and felt him ru= bbing against the stomach wall with his enormous paw. The muffled sound of = a burp echoed down his esophagus and Grandma saw a brief light above when h= e did so. 

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If she hadn't been fighting off a cold= , she would have never let him get the better of her. She sniffed and wiped= her nose as the wolf took a seat and the stomach walls adjusted their shap= e. 

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"Hey!" she grumbled and punc= hed the stomach lining. 

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A light pat responded, and the wolf la= y down, causing the slime and blood that pooled to shift as Grandma found h= erself in an uncomfortable fetal position.

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It wasn't long before there was a knoc= k at the door and the wolf's heartbeat picked up.

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Grandma heard the wolf chuckle before = he called out, "Who is it?"

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"It's me, Granny- Red!" said= the familiar but muffled voice of Little Red Riding Hood. 

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Grandma perked up and realized there w= as going to be another trapped inside with her. She punched at the walls of= the stomach and the wolf let out another hellish burp. 

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"I mean! Come in dear! Come in!&q= uot; The wolf called out in the sweetest pitch it could manage. 

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"Afternoon Granny, are you feelin= g any better?" Red asked as she approached the bed. 

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"Oh, I'm doing much better now th= at you're here dear?" 

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"Momma said to check you for feve= r.? The wolf adjusted slightly in bed to accommodate Red's hand. 

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A deep whiff of Red's smell ventured t= hrough the wolf's nose and down into its belly. Grandma caught a hint of ba= ked apples, honey, and wildflowers. The sort the girl usually picked for he= r on every visit. 

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"My granny, you look a bit rough = today.? 

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"Oh, it's nothing dear, just this= cold," the wolf lied. 

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"But your eyes are much larger th= an they were last week." 

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"All the better to see you with m= y dear." 

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"And your ears, Granny. They're l= arger and warmer than mother would like." 

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"All the better to hear you with = my dear?" 

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"Hmm," Red considered and th= e sound of her voice seemed farther away. "I think you should try some= of this soup and bread," she said. "I will feed it to you."=  

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"Oh, I do enjoy your willingness = to feed me, dear," the wolf chuckled, its high-pitched facade. Masking= its deep, guttural amusement. 

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The closer Red got to the bed, the qui= cker the wolf's heartbeat became. 

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"Try this," the girl offered= , and warm chicken soup rained down on Grandma's head. 

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"Mmm! It is very tasty."&nbs= p;

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"Oh, granny! Your teeth have gott= en so large since my last visit!" Red announced, but she didn't sound = all too surprised. 

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"All the better to ea-AAAAAH!!!&q= uot; The wolf let out a terrible yell and a sharp object pierced through th= e wolf's stomach.

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Grandma grinned at the sight of the br= ead knife's edge poking in to say hello. 

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"Where is my grandmother?" R= ed demanded as the wolf bounced out of bed and Grandma positioned herself f= or escape. 

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"I don't know who you mean!"= the wolf growled with annoyance. "Now come here at once!" <= /span>

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Grandma bounced against the wolf's rib= cage. Her own stomach churned with the movement. The muffled sound of furn= iture in the distance being crushed. A scuffle ensued beyond the stomach li= ning. A howl left the wolf when the knife greeted him again in the side.&nb= sp;

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Unable to see the action, Grandma stuc= k two fingers into the wolf's wound from the other side. Spreading apart ev= er so slightly so she could peek an eye between them. They had turned her b= eautiful couch upside down. Her coffee table was missing a leg. But there..= by the nightstand, Red was brandishing her knife like a seasoned pro.&nbs= p;

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"Fake Granny," Red taunted i= n a sing-song sort of voice. "I'm going to need you to cooperate a lit= tle more." 

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"Fuck you!" The wolf yelled.= "You're insane!" 

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Red laughed, "Now, now, you're tr= espassing fake granny. And until the real granny arrives I can't possibly l= et you leave." 

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"Your granny isn't ever coming ba= ck, you stupid twat! I've eaten her just as I will you!"

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"Ooh!" Red looked down at th= e wolf's stomach and made immediate eye contact with Grandma. "There y= ou are, Granny!" 

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Grandma backed up as far as she could = inside of the wolf's stomach. A kick and a punch bounced against the walls = of the space with Red's muffled, ?Sorry Gran! Sorry!? 

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A THWACK! BRUM! POW! The fight ensued.= Granny bounced, rolled, and swirled inside the stick bile of the gaffer wo= lf. Then finally a long howl left the wolf. 

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The tip of the bread knife had returne= d to the stomach wall, and this time sawed upward to the wolf's chin. =

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The pressure around her was released. = How nice it was to finally be able to stand again. As the wolf's hide fell = from her the goop of wolf insides dripped from her nightgown. Before Grandm= a could say anything clever, Red wrapped her arms around her waist and sque= ezed. They held each other for a long moment. The smell of baked apples, ho= ney, and wildflowers danced in Grandma's nose. 

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A knock at the door pulled them from t= heir embrace. 

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The cottage frame creaked open and out= side stood a burly man in red and black plaid and denim blue jeans. 

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?Oh, hello, Walter,? Grandma smiled.&n= bsp;

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Walter's gruff face melted into a shoc= k. His eyes widened and his mouth opened involuntarily at the sight., ?Is e= verything? alright, Granny? I heard a tussle?? 

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?Yes, quite alright,? Grandma nodded. = ?Red was just practicing her wolf hunting skills.? 

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?I got a big one this time,? Red smile= d gleefully and pushed open the door to reveal the trashed living room turn= ed slaughterhouse.  

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?Yes,? Grandma nodded. ?Next time we'l= l have to work on letting Granny know ahead of time.? 

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?Sorry about that,? Red grimaced. ?I d= idn't think he'd get here before me.? 

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?The big ones can be much faster than = you think,? Walter chuckled. 

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Birds chirped in the distance and the = melody of dark-humored laughter echoed through the forest. If any wolves we= re near they'd be wise to steer clear. 

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It was hunting season after all.

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       I never wanted to be a= thief, but I had no other choice. At the age of ten, I lost both my parent= s and ended up on my own. My parents barely had any money, but at least the= y had something. Without them, I had nothing. Therefore, I did what I neede= d to for money. It's not a unique story, but this story isn't about me anyw= ay.

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      &n= bsp;    In desperate need of something to eat, I snatch= ed the purse of a wealthy woman who carelessly flung it around while flirti= ng with some man. I didn't pay much attention to them because my eyes focus= ed on that swinging purple leather purse with the diamond buckle. I chose t= he wrong woman. As I fled with the purse held tightly at my chest, I felt a= sharp claw clutch the back of my soot-covered dress and drag me into the a= ir. The claw pulled me to the face of the woman who owned the purse. Glacie= r blue flames danced in her glowing eyes. My eyes widened and I couldn't br= eathe.

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          &nbs= p;?Filthy little mutt,? the woman snarled and yanked her purse out of my ha= nds. ?I can scarcely tell the difference between you and these mangy pests.= ?

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      &n= bsp;    Her head nodded towards a group of stray dogs. = Tears blurred my eyes.

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      &n= bsp;    ?She's just a kid, Miranda,? the man pleaded fo= r my sake.

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          &nbs= p;?Oh, you think because she's a kid she deserves some sympathy. Well, if b= eing a kid is her only problem, let me fix that.? Miranda pointed a finger = at me, and what looked like a bolt of purple lightning left the tip of her = finger and buzzed through my veins. Then she dropped me. I felt so small an= d needed to look up to see her knees. I stared down and saw that instead of= hands I had brown furry paws.

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      &n= bsp;    ?You turned her to a dog!? The man gasped. Clea= rly, he didn't know she had magic powers, because this realization caused h= im to turn and run as far and fast as his pudgy legs could go.

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      &n= bsp;    The woman knelt and used her fingertip lightnin= g to create a mirror so I could see my filthy dog face. My spotted fur look= ed as tangled as my long blonde hair had been.

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      &n= bsp;    ?Now, maybe you'll learn to hunt for rats like = you should've been doing all along.?

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          &nbs= p;I scampered away, still starving. I whimpered and howled openly. Behavior= that would be frowned upon for a child, but who cared now? Finding a safe = spot to sleep and maybe a morsel from the dumpster were my priorities at th= at moment.

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      &n= bsp;    On my quest for these things, I spotted a boy s= itting on a bench. He was eating something and shaking his head, while watc= hing a brawl between several drunk men. I hurried over to him, unable to no= tice anything but that food in his hand. Once by his feet, I looked up with= my best puppy eyes, and whimpered. He looked at me and a smile spread acro= ss his face.

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 ?Are you hungry?? He asked.

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      &n= bsp;    I wagged my tail.

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          &nbs= p;He reached down with a piece of turkey between his fingers, which I eager= ly gobbled up. Then he gave me more and more until the pains of hunger slow= ly subsided. When his hands were empty, he gently stroked my head. I licked= his hand because that's all I could do. It felt weird, but I knew dogs did= it and that's what I was now. Even weirder, I liked the salty taste of his= hands and kept licking. A bit of the sandwich sauces remained on them too.=

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      &n= bsp;    With a loving look in his eyes, he scooped me i= nto his arms, and said, ?How about I take you home with me??

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          &nbs= p;I didn't know where his home would be, but anything was safer than the st= reets, so I wagged my tail and licked his face. This made him laugh. As he = carried me along, I decided he was a cute boy who seemed about the same age= as I was. Maybe a little older. His skin wasn't dirty like mine, and his b= lack hair seemed untangled and washed. What I liked most was the kindness t= hat sparkled in his hazel eyes.

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