Received: from nobody by stodi.digitalkingdom.org with local (Exim 4.87) (envelope-from ) id 1cWlvr-0005HL-K5 for lojban-newreal@lojban.org; Thu, 26 Jan 2017 07:25:51 -0800 Received: from [208.87.25.117] (port=57237 helo=tophaealthscret.com) by stodi.digitalkingdom.org with esmtp (Exim 4.87) (envelope-from ) id 1cWlvm-0005GW-AY for lojban@lojban.org; Thu, 26 Jan 2017 07:25:50 -0800 Date: Thu, 26 Jan 2017 08:21:56 -0700 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Subject: When this occurs you could be minutes from your possible death: 6032064 To: Content-Type: text/html; charset=us-ascii Message-ID: From: "Anthony Hodges" Mime-Version: 1 X-Spam-Score: -0.4 (/) X-Spam_score: -0.4 X-Spam_score_int: -3 X-Spam_bar: / feel the good
IT WAS HORRILE - I ALMOST DIED LAST NIGHT

My heart just stopped and I
was seconds from death

Everyday more men and women are dying at an early age due to heart-failure and until now there was no real way of knowing. When this occurs you could be seconds from death.

"Im so thankful I saw this or I would have been dead today. I wouldnt be around to see my kids grow up" - Tom Friedman
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Right, I burst out Ive had enough of this What do you mean, “middleaged�? In Jane Austens day wed all be dead by now Were going to live to be a hundred Its not the middle of our lives Oh Yes Well, actually it is the middle Come to think of it But the point is, the whole expression “middleaged� conjures up a certain look I panicked, glancing at Woney, feeling myself plunging helplessly into a deepening hole a certain, a certain, pastitness, nonviability It doesnt have to be like that I mean, why are you assuming I dont have a friend, just because I dont blab on about it? I mean, maybe I do have friends They were all staring at me, slavering almost Do you? said Cosmo Do you have friends? said Woney, as if she were saying, Do you sleep with a spaceman? Yes, I lied smoothly, about the admittedly imaginary friends Well, where are they, then? said Cosmo Why dont we ever see them? I wouldnt want to bring them here because theyd think you were all too old, set in your ways and rude, I was about to blurt out But I didnt because, ironically enough, as for the last twenty years or more, I didnt want to hurt their feelings So instead I used the

immensely skilful social manoeuvre Ive been employing for the last two decades and said, I need to go to the toilet Sat down on the loo seat, saying, OK Its OK Put some more lip plumper on, and headed back down Magda was on her way to the kitchen, holding symbolically enough an empty sausage plate Dont listen to bloody Cosmo and Woney, she said Theyre just in a frightful state because Max has gone off to university Cosmos on the verge of retiring, so theyre going to be staring at each other across their Conran Shop 70sstyle table for the next thirty years Thanks, Mag Its always so nice when things go badly for other people Especially when theyve just been rude to you Magda has never stopped being kind Now, Bridget, she said Dont listen to that lot But you do have to start moving on, as a woman You have to find someone You cant carry on feeling like this Ive known you for a long time You can do it 1025 pm Can I? Cant see any way out of feeling like this Not at this moment You see, things being good has nothing to do with how you feel outside, it is all to do with how you are inside Oooh, goody Telephone Maybe a suitor? 1030 pm Oh, hello, darling my mother Im just ringing quickly to see what were doing about Christmas, because Una doesnt want her craniofacial at the spa because shes had her hair done, and its in fifteen minutes though why she had her hair bouffed when shes got a craniofacial and AquaZumba in the

morning I have no idea I confusedly, trying to make sense of what she was talking about Ever since Mum and Auntie Una moved into St Oswalds House, the phone calls have been the same St Oswalds House is an upscale retirement community near Kettering, only we are not allowed to call it a retirement community The notaretirement community is built around a grand Victorian mansion, almost a stately home As described on the website, it has a lake, grounds which boast a variety of rare wildlife (ie squirrels), 120 (the bar/bistro), CRAVINGS (the more formal restaurant) and CHATS (the coffee bar), plus function rooms (for meetings: not toilets), guest suites for visiting families, a collection of superbly appointed houses and bungalows, and, crucially, an Italianate garden designed by Russell Page in 1934 On top of this lot there is VIVA, the fitness facility with pool, spa, gym, beauty salon and hairdresser, and fitness classes the source of most of the trouble Bridget? Are you still there? Youre not wallowing in it, are you? Yes No I said, attempting the bright, positive tones of someone who is not wallowing in anything Bridget Youre wallowing I can tell from your voice Grrr I know Mum did go through a dark time after Dad died The lung cancer took him in six months from diagnosis to funeral The only positive thing was that Dad did get to hold newborn Billy in his arms, just before he died It was really hard for Mum when Una still had Geoffrey Una and Geoffrey had been Mum and Dads best friends for

fiftyfive years and, as they never tired of telling me, had known me since I was running round the lawn with no clothes on But after Geoffreys heart attack there was no holding Mum and Una back If they feel it now, Mum about Dad, or Una about Geoffrey, they rarely show it Theres something about that wartime generation which gives them the capacity to just cheerfully soldier on Maybe something to do with the powdered eggs and whalemeat fritters You dont want to mope around when youre widowed, darling You want to have fun Why dont you come over and jump in the sauna with Una and me? It was kindly meant, but what did she imagine I was going to do? Run out of the house, abandon the ren, drive for an hour and a half, rip off my clothes, have my hair bouffed, then jump in the sauna? So Christmas Una and I were wondering, are you going to come to us or (Have you noticed how when

people are giving you two options, the second one is always the one they want you to do?) Well, the thing is, darling, theres the St Oswalds cruise this year And we wondered if you might like to come? With the ren of course Its to the Canaries, but its not all old people, you know There are some very “withit� places they visit Right, right, a cruise, great, I said, suddenly thinking that if the Obesity Clinic had made me feel thin, maybe an overseventies cruise might make me feel young Mind, however, now also contained image of me chasing Mabel along a cruiseliner deck through a morass of bouffed hairdos and electric wheelchairs Youll be perfectly at home, because its actually for overfifties, Mum added, unknowingly putting the kibosh on the plan in a microsecond