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_{grew older, the desire to flee her reality grew. Sometimes in airports or train stations or any other transient place where shed never see the people again, Reba professed to be someone else entirely, and what frightened her most was that for those moments, she believed her own deceptions. Once, on the train from Richmond to Washington, D.C., she struck up a conversation with the businessman beside her, introducing herself as an Olympic speed skater meeting her teammates in the capital. The businessman paid for her lunchhis pleasure to dine with an athlete of such caliber. When they parted, a sudden wave of guilt made Reba sick to her stomach. She threw up the New York strip steak in the restroom and prayed to God she wasnt certifiablemultiple personality, psychotic, or manic like her daddy. Moving west was her solution, a clean slate. She could be anybody she wanted. She could be herself. But then, she wasnt quite sure who that was. Her first encounter with Riki had been out of character, another attempt to act the part: the brazen reporter who jumped in bed after a handful of dates and said she believed in love at first sight. In truth, she only wanted to believe. Shed hoped declaring love aloud might be the allinclusive cure to her heartache. When it wasnt, she began to wonder if love was enough. This was why she didnt wear the engagement ring. If she married Riki, she had two choices: become the lies forever or expose her true self and risk losing him. She wished he could simply know her without her having to explain her past.
Before she could marry anybody, she had to decipher where the truth ended and her lies began. Headlights spun round the kitchen and a minute later, the front door opened. Reba? Riki called. Im in here. He came in and turned on the light. Why are you sitting in the dark? The brightness burned Rebas corneas. I wasnt in the dark. The stove lights on. Practically the dark. He pulled change and gum wrappers from his pocket and dumped them in the empty fruit bowl on the table. Dont turn into a vampire on me. He kissed the top of her head, took off his border patrol jacket, and sat. Long day? She knew the answer by the hollows beneath his eyes. We picked up a family living out of their fourdoor in a Walmart parking lot. Pretty sad. Processing them back to Mexico tomorrow. The youngest is an infant. Hed been sitting in dirty diapers for God knows how long. He scratched his cheek. It gets under your skin. The fathers just trying to give his family a better placebetter life. The daily barrage of illegal immigration stories had long ago callused Rebas compassion. While usually Riki was on the US side, lately he seemed to be championing the Mexican nationals more and more. She couldnt keep up with whom he wanted her to empathize, so she slouched on the higher fence of principle. Dont make yourself the bad guy, she said. Like you always tell me, there are rules we have to follow. Otherwise, there are consequences. She swallowed a milkmushy crumb that came loose from her molar. You get dinner? she asked, a change of subject. I stopped off at Rudys after my interview and have some leftovers if youre hungry. Howd that go? Rudys? She didnt want to talk about the interview. You know I love their smoked turkey.}