Received: from nobody by stodi.digitalkingdom.org with local (Exim 4.87) (envelope-from ) id 1c4tnn-0004kg-1H for lojban-newreal@lojban.org; Thu, 10 Nov 2016 10:10:19 -0800 Received: from [209.222.108.172] (port=47634 helo=holdmysling.com) by stodi.digitalkingdom.org with esmtp (Exim 4.87) (envelope-from ) id 1c4tni-0004js-FG for lojban@lojban.org; Thu, 10 Nov 2016 10:10:18 -0800 Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2016 11:29:04 -0700 From: "Sharper Image" Mime-Version: 1 To: Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Subject: The UltraSling is the coolest gadget ever: #21783219 Content-Type: text/html; charset=us-ascii Message-ID: <3818553614-c2c7e55fbfda4353ca10c7b6e541eeed-217832193lojban@lojban.org-n> X-Spam-Score: 2.9 (++) X-Spam_score: 2.9 X-Spam_score_int: 29 X-Spam_bar: ++ X-Spam-Report: Spam detection software, running on the system "stodi.digitalkingdom.org", has NOT identified this incoming email as spam. The original message has been attached to this so you can view it or label similar future email. If you have any questions, see the administrator of that system for details. Content preview: Sling-Specials The UltraShot-Tactical-Sling: Get Yours Before They Run Out Good news, we just got a new shipment in and wanted to let you know before it sells-out as quickly as the previous-shipment did [...] Content analysis details: (2.9 points, 5.0 required) pts rule name description ---- ---------------------- -------------------------------------------------- 0.0 URIBL_BLOCKED ADMINISTRATOR NOTICE: The query to URIBL was blocked. See http://wiki.apache.org/spamassassin/DnsBlocklists#dnsbl-block for more information. [URIs: holdmysling.com] -0.0 SPF_PASS SPF: sender matches SPF record -0.0 SPF_HELO_PASS SPF: HELO matches SPF record -1.9 BAYES_00 BODY: Bayes spam probability is 0 to 1% [score: 0.0000] 0.7 MIME_HTML_ONLY BODY: Message only has text/html MIME parts 0.0 HTML_MESSAGE BODY: HTML included in message 0.0 HTML_FONT_LOW_CONTRAST BODY: HTML font color similar or identical to background 0.9 RAZOR2_CHECK Listed in Razor2 (http://razor.sf.net/) 0.5 RAZOR2_CF_RANGE_51_100 Razor2 gives confidence level above 50% [cf: 100] 1.9 RAZOR2_CF_RANGE_E8_51_100 Razor2 gives engine 8 confidence level above 50% [cf: 100] 0.8 RDNS_NONE Delivered to internal network by a host with no rDNS 0.0 T_REMOTE_IMAGE Message contains an external image Sling-Specials

The UltraShot-Tactical-Sling:
Get Yours Before They Run Out


Good news, we just got a new shipment in and wanted to let you know before
it sells-out as quickly as the previous-shipment did

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* Shoots any ammunition

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The tourists kept waving. If they found it strange that the Argo II was populated by halfasleep s in armor and pajamas and a man with goat legs they didnt let on. Bye Leo called raising his smoking hand. Can I man the ballistae Hedge asked. No Leo said through a forced smile. Hazel rubbed her eyes and looked across the glittering green water. Where areohWow. Piper followed her gaze and gasped. Without the cruise ship blocking their view she saw a mountain jutting from the sea less than half a mile to the north. Piper had seen impressive cliffs before. Shed driven Highway 1 along the California coast. Shed even fallen down the Grand Canyon with Jason and flown back up. But neither was as amazing as this massive fist of blinding white rock thrust into the sky. On one side the limestone cliffs were almost completely sheer dropping into the sea over a thousand feet below as near as Piper could figure. On the other side the mountain sloped in tiers covered in green forest so that the whole thing reminded Piper of a colossal sphinx worn down over the millennia with a massive white head and chest and a green cloak over its back. The Rock of Gibraltar Annabeth said in awe. At the tip of Spain. And over there She pointed south to a more distant stretch of red and ochre hills. That must be Africa. Were at the mouth of the Mediterranean. The morning was warm but Piper shivered. Despite the wide stretch of sea in front of them she felt like she was standing at an impassable barrier. Once in the Mediterraneanthe Mare Nostrumthey would be in the ancient lands. If the legends were true their quest would become ten times more dangerous. What now she asked. Do we just sail in Why not Leo said. Its a big shipping channel. Boats go in and out all the time. Not triremes full of demigods Piper thought. Annabeth gazed at the Rock of Gibraltar. Piper recognized that brooding expression on her friends face. It almost always meant that she anticipated trouble. In the old days Annabeth said they called this area the pillars of Hercules. The Rock was supposed to be one pillar. The other was one of the African mountains. Nobody is sure which one. Hercules huh Percy frowned. That guy was like the Starbucks of Ancient Greece. Everywhere you turnthere he is. A thunderous boom shook the Argo II though Piper wasnt sure where it came from this time. She didnt see any other ships and the skies were clear. Her mouth suddenly felt dry. Sothese Pillars of Hercules. Are they dangerous Annabeth stayed focused on the white cliffs as if waiting for the Mark of Athena to blaze to life. For Greeks the pillars marked the end of the known world. The Romans said the pillars were inscribed with a Latin warning Non plus ultra Percy said. Annabeth looked stunned. Yeah. Nothing Further Beyond. How did you know Percy pointed. Because Im looking at it. Directly ahead of them in the middle of the straits an island had shimmered into existence. Piper was positive no island had been there before. It was a small hilly mass of land covered in forests and ringed with white beaches.
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Not very impressive compared to Gibraltar but in front of the island jutting from waves about a hundred yards offshore were two white Grecian columns as tall as the Argos masts. Between the columns huge silver words glittered underwatermaybe an illusion or maybe inlaid in the sand: NON PLUS ULTRA. Guys do I turn around Leo asked nervously. Or No one answeredmaybe because like Piper they had noticed the figure standing on the beach. As the ship approached the columns she saw a darkhaired man in purple robes his arms crossed staring intently at their ship as if he were expecting them. Piper couldnt tell much else about him from this distance but judging from his posture he wasnt happy. Frank inhaled sharply. Could that be Hercules Jason said. The most powerful demigod of all time. The Argo II was only a few hundred yards from the columns now. Need an answer Leo said urgently. I can turn or we can take off. The stabilizers are working again. But I need to know quick We have to keep going Annabeth said. I think hes guarding these straits. If thats really Hercules sailing or flying away wouldnt do any good. Hell want to talk to us. Piper resisted the urge to use charmspeak. She wanted to yell at Leo: Fly Get us out of here Unfortunately she had a feeling that Annabeth was right. If they wanted to pass into the Mediterranean they couldnt avoid this meeting. t Hercules be on our side she asked hopefully. I meanhes one of us right Jason grunted. He was a son of Zeus but when he died he became a god. You can never be sure with gods. Piper remembered their meeting with Bacchus in Kansasanother god who used to be a demigod. He hadnt been exactly helpful. Great Percy said. Seven of us against Hercules. And a satyr Hedge added. We can take him. Ive got a better idea Annabeth said. We send ambassadors ashore. A small groupone or two at most. Try to talk with him. Ill go Jason said. Hes a son of Zeus. Im the son of Jupiter. Maybe hell be friendly to me. Or maybe hell hate you Percy suggested. Half brothers dont always get along. Jason scowled. Thank you Mr. Optimism. Its worth a shot Annabeth said. At least Jason and Hercules have something in common. And we need our best diplomat. Somebody whos good with words. All eyes turned to Piper. She tried to avoid screaming and jumping over the side. A bad premonition gnawed at her gut. But if Jason was going ashore she wanted to be with him. Maybe this hugely powerful god would turn out to be helpful. They had to have good luck once in a while didnt they Fine she said.