Received: from nobody by stodi.digitalkingdom.org with local (Exim 4.87) (envelope-from ) id 1cF2o1-0002YS-OE for lojban-newreal@lojban.org; Thu, 08 Dec 2016 09:48:29 -0800 Received: from [107.174.19.14] (port=43680 helo=lifetoyourkitchen.com) by stodi.digitalkingdom.org with esmtp (Exim 4.87) (envelope-from ) id 1cF2nw-0002Xb-PA for lojban@lojban.org; Thu, 08 Dec 2016 09:48:29 -0800 Date: Thu, 08 Dec 2016 11:11:58 -0700 Subject: Great Christmas gift for anyone: These pans you never have to clean (17729746) Content-Type: text/html; charset=us-ascii From: "Patrick Singleton" To: Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Message-ID: Mime-Version: 1 X-Spam-Score: -0.4 (/) X-Spam_score: -0.4 X-Spam_score_int: -3 X-Spam_bar: / the new kitchen addding

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Dr. Zinchenko was a tall woman with blazingred hair. She wore an expensive, customtailored business suit, jazzy highheeled shoes, a Bluetooth earpiece, and glasses with thick red frames. Heels clicking on the marble floor, fingers tapping on the glass of her very advanced tablet computer, Dr. Zinchenko strode past the control centers red door, under an arch, and into the breathtakingly large circular reading room beneath the librarys threestorytall rotunda. The bank building, which provided the shell for the new library, had been built in 1931. With towering Corinthian columns, an arched entryway, lots of fancy trim, and a mammoth shimmering gold dome, the building looked like it belonged next door to the triumphant memorials in Washington, D.C.not on this small Ohio towns quaint streets. Dr. Zinchenko paused to stare up at the librarys most stunning visual effect: the Wonder Dome. Ten wedgeshaped, highdefinition video screensas brilliant as those in Times Squarelined the underbelly of the dome like so many orange slices. Each screen could operate independently or as part of a spectacular whole. The Wonder Dome could become the constellations of the night sky; a flight through the clouds that made viewers below sense that the whole building had somehow lifted off the ground; or, in Dewey decimal mode, ten sections depicting vibrant and constantly changing images associated with each category in the library cataloging system. I have the final numbers for the fourth sector of the Wonder Dome in Dewey mode, Dr. Zinchenko said into her Bluetooth earpiece. 364 point 1092. She carefully overenunciated each word to make certain the video artist knew what specific numbers should occasionally drift across the fourth wedge amid the swirling socialsciences montage featuring a floating judges gavel, a tumbling teachers apple, and a gentle snowfall of holiday icons. The numbers, however, should not appear until eleven a.m. Sunday. Is that clear Yes, Dr. Zinchenko, replied the tinny voice in her ear. Next Dr. Zinchenko studied the holographic statues projected into black crepelined recesses cut into the massive stone piers that supported the arched windows from which the Wonder Dome rose. Why are Shakespeare and Dickens still here Theyre not on the list for opening night. Sorry, replied the librarys director of holographic imagery, who was also on the conference call. Ill fix it. Thank you. Exiting the rotunda, the librarian entered the s Room. It was dim, with only a few work lights glowing, but Dr. Zinchenko had memorized the layout of the miniature tables and was able to march, without bumping her shins, to the Story Corner for a final check on her recently installed geese. The flock of six audioanimatronic goslingsfluffy robots with pingpongish eyeballs (created for the new library by imagineers who used to work at Disney World)stood perched atop an angled bookcase in the corner. Mother Goose, in her bonnet and granny glasses, was frozen in the center. This is librarian One, said Dr. Zinchenko, loud enough for the microphones hidden in the ceiling to pick up her voice. Initiate storytime sequence. The geese sprang to mechanical life. Nursery rhyme. The geese honked out BaaBaa Black Sheep in sixpart harmony. Treasure Island The birds yohohoed their way through Fifteen Men on a Dead Mans Chest. Dr. Zinchenko clapped her hands. The rollicking geese stopped singing and swaying. One more, she said. Squinting, she saw a book sitting on a nearby table. Walter the Farting Dog. The six geese spun around and farted, their tail feathers flipping up in sync with the noisy blasts. Excellent. End story time. The geese slumped back into their sleep mode. Dr. Zinchenko made one more tick on her computer tablet. Her final punch list was growing shorter and shorter, which was a very good thing. The librarys grand opening was set for Friday night. Dr. Z and her army of associates had only a few days left to smooth out any kinks in the librarys complex operating system. Ms. G This is Dr. Z. What is our white Bengal tiger doing in the s department ??? I see. Apparently, there was a slight misunderstanding. We do not want him permanently positioned near The Jungle Book. Check the call number. 599 point 757???. Right. He should be in Zoology.??? Yes, please. Right away. Thank you, Ms. G. And like a vanishing mirage, the tiger disappeared. Of course, even though he was grounded, Kyle Keeley still had to go to school. Mike, Curtis, Kyle, time to wake up his mother called from down in the kitchen. Kyle plopped his feet on the floor, rubbed his eyes, and sleepily looked around his room. The computer handed down from his brother Curtis was sitting on the desk that used to belong to his other brother, Mike. The rug on the floor, with its Cincinnati Reds logo, had also been Mikes when he was twelve years old. The books lined up in his bookcase had been lined up on Mikes and Curtiss shelves, except for the ones Kyle got each year for Christmas from his grandmother. He still hadnt read last years addition. Kyle wasnt big on books. Unless they were the instruction manual or hint guide to a video game. He had a Sony PlayStation set up in the family room. It wasnt the highdef, Bluray PS3. It was the one Santa had brought Mike maybe four years earlier. (Mike kept the brandnew Bluray model locked up in his bedroom.) But still, clunker that it was, the fouryearold gaming console in the family room worked. Except this week. Well, it worked, but Kyles dad had taken away his TV and computer privileges, so unless he just wanted to hear the hard drive hum, there was really no point in firing up the PlayStation until the next Sunday, when his sentence ended. When youre grounded in this house, his father had said, youre grounded. If Kyle needed a computer for homework during this last week of school, he could use his moms, the one in the

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