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Shed been to local doctors, who had ruled out all probable physical explanations: thyroid, anemia, lupus, et cetera. Then, after watching an episode of The View, something he swore hed never done before, her husband, who in his own words loved Lilly more than life itself (a quote that resonated on a very problematic level with both Zee and Mattei), went to the Spirit of 76 Bookstore in Marblehead to purchase Matteis book, only to find that they were sold out. He immediately ordered two copies, one for himself and another for his ailing wife. But Lilly was too troubled to read. The only time she left the house in those days was in the late afternoon, when the shadows were longer and the bright summer light (another irrational fear) was dimmer. In the late afternoon, her husband said, Lilly often took long walks through the twisted streets of Marblehead and up through the graves of Old Burial Hill, to a precipice high above Marblehead Harbor, where she sometimes stayed until after sunset. So technically she isnt agoraphobic, Mattei said to the husband when she finished her initial patient analysis of Lilly. She does leave the house. Only for her walks, her husband said. She says she does it to calm herself down. Interesting, Mattei said. But Zee could tell she didnt mean it. The reason Zee was in attendance at Lillys session was that Mattei had already decided she was handing her off. Mattei wasnt interested in Lilly Braedon. But Zee was very interested. From the first time she met her new patient, Zee suspected that there was much more to the story than Lilly was telling. Every Tuesday, Zee had her own therapy session with Mattei. Mostly they talked about her patients, or at least the ones who required meds, which was most of them. If patients with panic attacks werent on meds these days, you could be pretty sure there was a reason. Perhaps they were in some kind of twelvestep program, usually for or , or else they had the kind of paranoia that kept them from taking any medication at all. This morning Zee had gone through the usual suspects, as Mattei called her list of patients. This one had improved, that one was selfmedicating with bourbon and sleeping pills. Another one had taken herself off all meds and was beginning to show signs of a manic episode. When they got to Lilly, Zee told Mattei she had nothing to report. Unsatisfactory, Mattei said. Normally Mattei didnt seem to care one bit about Lilly Braedon. But something Zee had said at their last meeting had piqued her interest for a change and prompted a question. When Zee reported that nothing had changed, Mattei wasnt having any of it. Does that mean that Lilly is in a normal phase? Mattei was referring to Lillys bipolar disorder, which had been their diagnosis. Bipolar disorder was something Zee understood only too well. It was what her mother had been diagnosed with years ago, except that in those days it had been called manic depression, which Zee had always thought a better description. In most cases the disorder was characterized by severe mood sgs followed by periods of relative normalcy.
I wouldnt say normal, Zee said. Any more trouble with the Marblehead police? Not lately, Zee said. Well, thats something. AT 3:35, L ILLY STILL HADNT arrived. Zee walked to the dow. Across Storrow Drive a homeless woman sat on one of the benches, but there was no one walking along the Charles River. It was too hot and humid for movement of any kind. Traffic was snarled, the drivers honking and agitated, trying to get onto roads heading north. The cardboard bridge, as Zee called the Craigie, looked like a bad fourthgrade art project. Years of soot had collected in the wrong areas for shading, and todays haze made it look even flatter and more onedimensional and fake than it had ever looked before. AT 3:45, Z EE DIALED L ILLYS number. It was a 631 exchange, Marblehead. It used to be NE 1, Lilly had told her when shed scribbled down her phone number for the records. NE for Neptuneyou know, Neptune, the Roman god of the sea? Zee thought back to her school days. Neptuneor Poseidon, his Greek equivalent, god of the sea and consort of Amphitrite, which had been Zees mothers middle name. Though Maureen Doherty was a decidedly Irish name, Zees grandmother had given all three of her ren the middle names of Greek gods and goddesses. Thus Zees mother was Maureen Amphitrite Doherty. Uncle Mickeys middle name was Zeus, and Uncle Liam, who had died back in Ireland before Zee was born, was Antaeus, a clear foreshadog of the mythmaking violence in his future. Zee remembered Maureen teasing Uncle Mickey about his middle name. Well, what mother doesnt think her son is a god? Mickey had answered. Indeed, Zee thought. Zee willed herself back to the present. Lately her mind had been wandering. Not just with Lilly, but with all of her patients. They seemed to tell the same stories over and over until her job became more like detective work than therapy. The key wasnt in the stories themselves, at least not the ones they told and retold. Rather it was in the variations of their stories, the small details that changed with each telling. Those details were often the keys to whatever deeper issues lay hidden beneath the surface. What wasnt the patient telling the truth about? Everybody lies, was another of Matteis favorite expressions. And so as the weeks passed, Zee listened to Lilly, to the variations in the stories she told over and over. But on the day that Lilly had mentioned Neptune, the story she told was one that Zee had never before heard. Back in the day, Lilly was saying, before the phones in Marblehead had dials, way back when the operators used to ask Number, please in a nasal four syllables, you would have to say Neptune 1 for the Marblehead exchange. Lilly was far too young ever to have remembered phones without dials and operators who connected you, but for some reason she seemed to find this bit of trivia very significant. Does Neptune have a special meaning for you? Zee asked. Lillys face contorted. Ive always been afraid of Neptune, she said. Neptune is a vengeful god. AT 5:20, Z EE DIALED HER wedding planner. Im very sorry, but Im going to have to cancel again, my fiveoclock is late, she said, relieved that shed gotten the machine instead of the personwho, she had to admit, scared the hell out of her. Zee felt a bit giddy, the way shed felt as a kid when there was







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