im rising up

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It had happened before. The house had a walkout basement, which theyd had remodeled a few years back. But the new dows were faulty; they often didnt close properly. Shed already had two of them repaired by Adam. Shed been meaning to speak with him about fixing this final one, but she hadnt gotten around to it before she stopped seeing him. William returned home later that night, but Lilly wasnt there. The ren were asleep. At midnight he called the police and reported her missing. They told him hed have to wait fortyeight hours before they got involved. Though they didnt share their information with him, the police had a pretty good idea where she might be. Lilly didnt come home until two days later. When she did, she was sullen and downcycling.

She wouldnt eat. She had several bruises. No matter how many times she was asked, she would never say where shed been or what had happened. After the emergency room took care of her injuries, Zee had Lilly admitted to a Boston psychiatric hospital on an involuntary seventytwohour hold. Lillys threeday stay turned into three weeks. Zee went by every other day. One weekend, when Lilly wasnt expecting her, Zee showed up. Lilly was in the lounge, a book in front of her. Instead of reading, she was staring out the dow. Zee paused to watch. Lilly was looking at a red construction truck, idling outside in the parking lot. Zee recognized it immediately. She had walked out of the office one day after Lillys session in time to see her getting into that same truck. Adam clearly knew who Zee was, and the look he gave her as she walked by that day had sent a shiver up her spine. You have to get away from him, Zee said to Lilly. Lilly didnt answer.

By offering advice Zee knew she had crossed a line with Lilly. A therapist is never supposed to tell a patient what to do. But it was a line Zee felt she had to cross. Zee left Lilly and called security. WILLIAM DIDNT KNOW WHAT HAD happened while Lilly was away. He could tell from the police reaction that they were not as worried as he was. People walk out on marriages all the time, they said. He had convinced himself that it had been a kidnapping, from which his wife had narrowly escaped. He waited until Zee had been seeing Lilly at the hospital for almost two weeks before he couldnt stand it anymore and came by the office. He demanded to know what had happened to Lilly. I know she told you, he said. She didnt, actually, Zee said. But even if she had, I couldnt tell you. Im the one who brought her to you. Im the one paying the bills, he said.

Lilly has to be able to trust me, Zee said calmly. Doctorpatient confidentiality. It was the only time she had seen William angry. What the hell am I paying you for? he demanded. The sound of his raised voice brought Zee to her feet. Mattei got to the door in time to see him hurl a glass paperweight across the room, shattering it against the far wall. Do you need some help in here? Mattei asked Zee. William looked confused and embarrassed. I was just leaving, he said. Let me see you to the door, Mattei said.

Im sorry, he mumbled to Zee. Mattei held the door for him, shooting Zee a look as they left. TWO DAYS BEFORE L ILLY WAS scheduled to be released, both Zee and Mattei were called to the hospital. Lillys hospital psychiatrist sat across from a social worker named Emily, whom Zee recognized from the Department of Social Services. Whats going on? Zee asked. Were here because of Lillys physical injuries, Emily said. What physical injuries? Zee asked. The ones she initially presented with, the social worker said. Lilly refuses to talk about them, the staff psychiatrist said. She told me she fell, Zee said. On Halloween night. Thats whats on her admission records, the psychiatrist said. Suffered a fall on Halloween night due to slippery rocks. She looked at the others. It was raining pretty hard on Halloween.

The bruises arent consistent with a fall, Emily said. They seem more like a beating. You think she was beaten? Zee asked. This is routine procedure, Emily said. Especially when the woman doesnt give an explanation consistent with her injuries. Lilly is scheduled to be released in two days, the psychiatrist said. Shes stable, her medications are properly dosed, and shes shog no signs of depression. I would respectfully disagree on that last point, Zee said. I think she seems depressed. Shes normally much more communicative. The psychiatrist paused to consider. There is one point that makes me agree with you, Dr. Finch. Only one? Zee was getting annoyed. Whats that? Lilly does not want to go home. Which plays into our suspicions of spousal abuse, the social worker said. Its not William, Zee said. But if shes afraid to go home... the social worker said. She doesnt feel safe at home.