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And just about every other woman in America, Zee said. True enough. Your mother was onto something when she started writing fairy tales about The Great Love. Something that evidently killed her, Zee said. Which? Mattei said. Was it the fairy tale that killed her? Or The Great Love? Arent they pretty much the same thing? You tell me, Mattei said. When Zee didnt take the bait, Mattei asked a different question. Whats the other dream of the fairy tale? Besides true love? What are both your mother and Lilly looking for? Mattei asked. My mothers not looking for anything. My mothers dead. Zee was grog tired of this line of questioning. Bear with me for a moment, Mattei said. Zee folded her arms across her chest. What did your mother want from you then, and what does Lilly want now? I dont know, Zee said. Think about it.

ZEE THOUGHT ABOUT M ATTEIS QUESTION, and she thought about Lilly Braedon many times during the next few months. It was William who finally contacted Zee. He was desperate. Shes not doing well, he sobbed into the phone. I dont know what to do. He told Zee that Lilly had stopped the therapy within the first month. Convinced that the doctor was coming on to her, she had refused to step back into his office. I dont know, William said. Shes such a beautiful woman. Men cant help throg themselves at her. I tend to believe her.


He tried to compose himself before going on. She t even get out of bed. Whose bed? Zee wanted to ask. But she didnt. Instead she agreed to go to the house to meet with Lilly, and with that, Zee crossed another line. THE HOUSE WAS A MESS. It hadnt been cleaned for weeks, William told her. Finally, in frustration, he had hired a maid service, three women from Brazil who didnt speak much English, which he decided was a good thing, because he was afraid of what Lilly might say to them if she started talking. But instead of speaking even a word of hello, Lilly had taken to locking herself in her bedroom and crying the whole time they tried to cleanhuge, wrenching sobs that finally upset the maids so much that they quit. What was she crying about? hed asked the women, but they didnt know. Gesturing, they managed to communicate to him that Lilly had been talking on the phone with someone. William thought that maybe the phone calls had been to Zee. Zee didnt tell him what she already knew, that the phone calls were to Adam. You didnt break up with Adam, did you? Zee asked Lilly at her first return session.

I couldnt, Lilly said. Then she started to cry. LILLY BECAME Z EES PATIENT ONCE more. And once again her meds were adjusted. Soon she was driving herself into Boston on a regular basis. She seemed better. Spring was turning to summer again, and Lillys spirits were lifting. They didnt talk about Adam anymore. Lilly wouldnt, and there were clearly boundary issues that Zee had violated; she didnt want to risk making things worse. For now it was important not to drive Lilly away again. It was enough that she was here and that she seemed to be improving. It was Lilly who finally brought up Adam. It was about six months later, in one of her sessions. We think were free, she said, but were not. Were the product of every association weve ever made, and sometimes of ones we inherited from people we never even knew. Thats very profound, Zee said. So you agree? It doesnt matter whether I agree or disagree. What matters is what you think.

I just told you what I think. So you did, Zee said. Lilly made a face. What? Zee said. Did you ever want to get out of something but you didnt know how? What is it you want to get out of? Just about everything right about now, Lilly said. Why dont you tell me the specifics, and Ill see if I can help you work through it, Zee suggested. My marriage, for one, Lilly said. Why do you want to get out of your marriage? I feel as if William set up this elaborate trap for me and made it look all pretty, and I just fell into it, Lilly said. And now you want to free yourself from the trap? Yes. Lilly looked at Zee. You dont approve. It doesnt matter whether I approve. But you dont. I didnt say that. People get divorces. No judgment, Zee said. So youre saying its okay? Do you think its okay? I have two ren, Lilly said.

Yes, you do. I feel like Im dying, Lilly said. Lets explore that, Zee said. Lilly said nothing. In what way do you feel like youre dying? Zee asked. Not dying. Trapped. I cant leave because of the ren. And I cant stay. I understand feeling as if you cant leave. Why do you feel you cant stay? Zee said. Its not safe, she said. Are we talking about Adam? Its not Adam. Adam is derful, Lilly said. Are you telling me you want to be with Adam? Zee asked. Lilly looked confused for a moment. No, I never said that. Why do you feel unsafe? Zee asked again. I dont want to talk about this anymore, she said. Im sorry I brought it up. Im glad you brought it up. If you feel unsafe in any way, I need to know about it, Zee said. I told him what you said. That I should get away from him. Were talking about Adam now, Zee said. Lilly hesitated for a second. Yes. Adam. Adam whom you just described as derful. Im so confused. Lilly started to cry. Its okay, Zee said. Lilly clearly looked frightened. And what did Adam say when you told him that? Zee asked. He said that you were a bitch and someone should teach you to mind your own business, Lilly said. Those were his exact words.