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Alan Stemw= orth Technical Engineering

58 Constitution St
Wallingford, CT 6492-38= 25
Click here to end further messaging.=
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Dunce

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?We have been through the entire gamut= of possibilities, and have narrowed our search down, too, you.?

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?Which job did I apply for, could you = refresh my memory as I don't recall wishing to change my position here.&nbs= p;I am totally happy working where I am, doing what I do. I am comfort= able and would have no reason to apply for another position, given that my = position is not only satisfying, but my work is satisfactory; it is isn't i= t??

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?The reason I bring this to your atten= tion, is that I like you. We all like you. It is just that your p= osition is going to become redundant. You know the company has been re= structured, and the person in charge of evaluating all positions has found = that your position does not fit into the projected needs of the new busines= s model and therefore I have been asked to look at your past performance an= d determine which area your expertise might best utilized.?

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?I see now that you put it that way.&n= bsp;What did you have in mind.?

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?Given your aptitude test, your past p= erformance evaluations, and??

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It all got rather dry after that point=  It is difficult in assessing another's contributions, when looked at= in the light of competency and the learning potential of any given subject=  My job deploying the personnel policies of the corporation was diffi= cult in the past, and that was when our level of involvement with policy wa= s minimal. I kept track of sick leave, OSHA requirements, overtime, th= at sort of thing. Once in a while a harassment suit or some such thing, but= basically standard protocol. Well, those days are apparently over.

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Ferdinand T. Magellan, yes that is his= real name, or so I must assume. I suppose I could find out for sure b= y using some of the on line searches we have developed to flag possible pro= blems with employees, but what does it really matter what he believes he ne= eds to be called.

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He has made it clear by his first inne= r-office memorandum, that things are going to change, ?Around here!? I= ignored it at first, realizing that was a standard move to inspire creativ= ity and the possibility that our job might be replaced by someone with more= dedicated adherence to the new initiatives, of a, ?New Day,? as the first = news letter has been titled. 

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Our first initiative is in a realm we = have not dabbled in previously; politics. Mr. Magellan, it has been ru= mored, has personally contributed small fortunes to candidates he believed = to be beneficial to him personally, as well as his corporate enterprises.&n= bsp;He therefore has initiated a program to develop a new breed of politici= an, the kind the future will require once, ?The present nonsense has run it= s course.? 

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Our internal affairs meeting was dedic= ated to finding and developing that type of person. One who could be m= olded to fit a new entrepreneurial spirit needed in this time of climate ch= ange, environmental regulation, and overall acceptance of the fact that wor= kers demand to be incorporated into company decisions that affect their wag= es and health. Mr. Magellan has put together a list of criteria that w= e in personnel, are to not only study, but memorize. 

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We, in an effort to curtail this prese= nt onslaught of newly elected women, people of color, justice oriented and = worst of all, dedicated civil servants, have devised a strategy. Our missio= n is to find those who will be trained to fill overturned positions, once t= he public is informed of the detrimental effects this last batch of do-good= ers is instilling in our overly democratic and capitalistic systems we depe= nd upon, for security and personalized progress.

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This is why Homer Applebee has come to= my attention, and therefore the attention of Mr. Magellan. In conduct= ing a composite evaluation of all present employees, Homer was found to be = in the bottom one percentile of those contributing anything of value to the= company, and what was contributed, was unnecessarily obtuse, when attempti= ng to integrate it into the existing implementation of the new business mod= el.

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Homer was found to be number one in hi= s ability to comprehend useless information.  He then failed to utiliz= e said information he was being paid to benefit the company. In other = words, he suffered from a lack of a competency that was insurmountable, det= ermined by internal testing, of course. He was, what Mr. Magellan was = seeking, the perfect candidate.

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I have learned over the years of study= ing those under my purview, that those I least expected to excel, did not d= isappoint me. In this case, Mr. Magellan has asked me to groom Herman = for his position as a future Administrative Cabinet member, in some future = Cabinet he intended to purchase. I believe I was not wrong about my in= itial inclination towards Herman's potential competency, but we'll have to = see just how poorly he performs.

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In the meantime, I needed to explain t= o Herman that his abilities have come to the attention of Mr. Magellan, and= he is to be promoted to a position where less is expected, and in the proc= ess, more is to be gained. The old, less is more phenomenon I had been= trained to recognize and avoid my entire working life, is now my guiding p= rinciple.  

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The ultimate resolution of more with l= ess, is, and has been, everything with nothing. Which leaves millions = out of jobs, including me. Although I feel I have contribute adequately to = the enterprise that pays for my six weeks in the Bahama's every winter, tha= t I not only feel I deserve, but have earned, I would be remiss in pretendi= ng my future is secure.

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Herman Applebee's working history cons= isted of having been a paper boy, mowing lawns, and because of a particular= ly, bad season of influenza, resulting in a shortage of people needed to pa= rticipate in product trials, his volunteerism metamorphosed into full time = employment. He moved from trials to production analysis within a year = when several employees were dismissed, for cause.

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He has remained an analyst for the pas= t six years. He, unlike other teams, is the only member of Team F.&nbs= p;When asked once, by me, if he felt ostracized because of his unique one-p= erson team status, he unashamedly informed me it was most to his liking, an= d he wouldn't trade his job for, ?That of the Pope.?

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So, you see convincing Herman he was o= n the verge of a breakthrough into the uncontested waters of a new politic,= wouldn't be easy. He not only didn't want to assume a new role, but c= laimed he'd gladly accept less money if left alone.

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I have developed a series of training = exercises to help initiate Herman to the new world of politics. His fi= rst session was this morning. He was asked to find ways to disparage h= is cardboard opponent in a way that would not only condemn her to obscurity= but do so while making himself look as if he had the best interest of his = constituents, foremost in his heart.

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Herman did fairly well for a beginner.=  He only broke down in tears twice in the ten-minute session. Thi= s afternoon, after he completes his session with the psychological analyst,= we are delving into the intricacies of bribery and intimidation, with emph= asis on projecting a willingness to get along, while planting innuendo and = suspicion in the media, complete with pictures and tapes.

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Herman told me before he was escorted = by his driver to his new overly priced condominium, that he was told he cou= ld use for, ?certain affairs,? allowing him more free time, in that it woul= d reduce his travel to and from his new suburban estate.

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His only concern to this point was a c= lothing allowance. He said his chauffer was dressed better than he was= , and he'd gotten a hot tip from his hair dresser, that leisure suits were = going to make, a smashing, ?once again,? comeback.

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I might be wrong about my initial incl= ination towards his adaptability to incompetence. I believe he might j= ust make it, in spite of the present social progressiveness smothering the = ill informed.     

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?You are telling me you don't even own= a gun. You've never even shot a gun. You are afraid of guns, and= yet when we tested your hands for residue, we found evidence of gun powder=  Please explain.?

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I like to go over the evidence before = trial, especially one I'm supposed to testify in. I find playing both = roles gives me a perspective that helps once I get up there before the defe= ndants shyster lawyers.

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Of course he's guilty. Science do= es not lie. Anything short of having a picture of someone else holding= the gun, standing over the body, would perhaps question his guilt. Su= re the evidence is circumstantial, but we've put away a lot of people with = less. I'm not saying we shouldn't remain true to the idea that everyon= e is innocent until proven guilty, but when did we start down that road, an= d is it relevant in this time of crookedism.   Even the most blat= ant of criminals feel compelled to go through the charade of pleading innoc= ent, even when they get caught, and are convicted on the six O'clock news.&= nbsp;

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Hellscamp has a record as long as your= arm. OK, an overused example of assumed guilt, but it has proven to b= e more or less the bread crumbs of every case. Now, just because Hells= camp is a well to do person, who happens to be well connected, doesn't mean= I'm going to sweep this thing under the rug to placate some fat cat. = Sure his rap sheet is mainly parking tickets and moving violations, but for= all we know he's a bad driver. For all we know he drinks and drives.&= nbsp;

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I was on a case just last week where t= his guy claimed to be an alcoholic. He was going to use his supposed d= isease to get his vehicular homicide charge reduced because of his impedime= nt. Turns out he's not an alcoholic, he just likes to drink. We g= ot his ex-wives and several of his current girl friends under the lights an= d they began to squeal like rats in a trap.

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?But isn't it possible you are wrong?&= nbsp;You have been wrong in the past haven't you. I remember the Lincoln in= dictment. It was thrown out because someone, you, forgot to place the = evidence in question under the auspices of command, and the case was dismis= sed. So how can you be so sure this, Hellscamp, who you claim is a fra= ud and cheat just because he is a mortician by trade, and had once been a r= ealtor, is guilty.  Someone's past doesn't prove, or disprove, his inn= ocence or guilt.?

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Sure I've made a few mistakes. Bu= t have you considered the pressure placed on us particularly during this ti= me of protests and vandalism. We are under siege. I just look at = someone who looks like they are up to no good, and the next think you know = I'm down at the Captains office having to review the public policies on eng= agement with civilians., their civil rights.  It's nonsense.=20

 

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This Hellscamp guy is guilty. I c= an see it in his eyes, smell it on his clothes. He's one of those guys= who's always gotten away with stuff. Someone always pays his bill, cu= ts him slack. Well not this time. It's time he learned a lesson, = and I intend to be the one to teach it to him. 

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"Tell me this. How does someone w= ho never fired a gun, get gun powder residue on his hands and clothing.&quo= t;

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 I'm sure between him and his hig= h-priced lawyer he'll come up with a great story. Don't mean it's true=  Once these guys start to lie, they have to keep lying. After a = while they lie so much, they actually get good at it. I've seen guys t= ake lie detector tests after they've been convicted, and it proves they did= n't do it. That's how good these guys are. This one guy claimed his bu= ddy committed suicide, shot himself twice in the back of the head. He = passed the detector test and we had him on a surveillance camera shooting t= he guy. Jury let him go.  That's how good these guys are at convincing= themselves and others, that they are innocent.

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?What about convicting the wrong guy f= or the right reasons. Isn't it better to let one guilty guy go free, t= han incarcerate an innocent one??

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That is just more of that liberal nons= ense. Everyone is guilty of something. They just don't all get ca= ught is all. It works out. When people are in that situation wher= e they are being looked at for something, you can bet they were involved in= something as equally bad in the past. Karma steps up from time to tim= e, and rights a wrong, even when it ain't always entirely provable.<= /p>=20

 

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?Hey McMichael, you going to be in the= re all day. We got a trial going on here and you're up next. Get = a move on it.?

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I like to rehearse before I get on the= stand. Those lawyers have a way of turning the truth into lies, and l= ies into truths. And when all is said and done, you are the bad guy. Now I = know this guy is guilty. If not for this, then something else. I'= ve yet to meet a straight up mortician or realtor in my four years on the f= orce that aint guilty of something. These guys in their fancy cars and= suits thinking they can do what they want and get away with it. Well,= I'm going to help put a stop to it.

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?McMichael, get out here. The Cap= tain wants to talk to you before you go up there. He says he's got som= ething you need to know, see. Get out here, and quick.?

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He shoves me the pictures from the sce= ne under the door. Guy dead on the sidewalk, this mortician guy kneeli= ng beside him like he's trying to beat the living B-Jesus out of him.  = ;Pounding on his chest, blowing into his mouth. A gay mortician, it ha= d never even crossed my mind. Or maybe one of the necro types I hear t= ell about. Here's the proof. This guy is there, guilty, right in = the picture pounding on the guy like he's got to kill him twice, for it to = count. Some people!

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?McMichael, you commin out, or am I go= ing to have to come in there and get you.?

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I know what he's going to say before h= e says it. Same nonsense he always says before I go in the box. ?= Just answer what is asked. Don't adlib, don't expound, don't give them= anymore than they ask for. Cause if you do, they will make you look l= ike the idiot you are.?

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I wish I had a vacation day for every = time I've heard that speech. Just give them what they want, the guy wa= lks. Sure maybe he didn't do this one thing, but I'd bet he has a clos= et full of memories about other things, just like this. He's laughing = at us, and I've had it.

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?The court calls officer McMichael.?

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?Judge, officer McMichael has taken ill. Do to new evidence provided us by council, we consent to the dismissal of charges. We think we kn= ow the guy who might r= eally have done the shooting by accident.?

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?Find McM= ichael

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