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Subject: Re: [lojban-beginners] le virnu smani blozeile'a
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On Mon, Sep 13, 2010 at 6:22 AM, Pierre Abbat <phma@phma.optus.nu> wrote:
> p. 1: "Hayes" is pronounced /heiz/, so it should be Lojbanized as "eiz"
> or "xeiz".
I wasn't sure about the pronounce (I was about to ask directly to him :) )

> p. 5: I'd restructure that sentence. "ni'o le blozeile'a po'u la modix. kansa
> le mamta le nu ..."
I'll have a new version soon, I hope you'll find the new one better

> I didn't understand "cmalu litru" (was he in a small
> boat? is he small?) and it doesn't match the sense of the original. How
> about "vricycuntu litru"?

I like that: "a travel for miscellaneus affairs". Actually I had never
encountered the word "errands" in ENglish and I was not sure how to
translate it.

> Why "modix" instead of "modis" or "modin"?
Don't know, I thought that a small pirate would have preferred a name
like that. Anyway it doesn't make any difference, right? As long as
this the way he wants his name to sound in lojban.

> p. 8: "rainelci" is two words.
I've been suggested "rairnelci"

> p. 9: Normally one says "le mamta be" rather than "le mamta po".
yep, I made that mistake again! :)

> p. 11: "lo skorbuti" means "someone who has scurvy". For the disease as such,
> you want "la skorbut." "le jinku befi la skorbut" does not make sense. lo
> jinku is something (not necessarily an injection; I've come up with "tatygre
> jinku" for "diathelic immunity") which causes the immune system to recognize
> some antigen as a pathogen and attack it, thus hopefully preventing a disease
> for many years. Scurvy is a deficiency disease, not an infectious disease.
> I'd use "nu je'erse'a". ("je'erse'atci", on the next page, means the
> syringe.)
THanks I've refrased the "injection part" Open it's better now.

> p. 14: should be "tolcri da" or "facki fi da".
facki fi da

> p. 17: I'd say "le dei lisri" instead of "le ta lisri". ta is something either
> at medium distance from me/us or near you.


> p. 19: See comment on page 14. x2 of "facki" is a fact. There is such a thing
> as a sea spider, though it's not an arachnid. I think that the word
> for "crab" should be a fu'ivla, as even if "xasyjukni" refers to crustaceans,
> it's not specific to crabs.
The gloss for jukni mention crabs (and spieders ...), I agree that is
not precice but I think is better to use workds that can be easily
found on the dictionary rather then be precise on the type of
crustaceans,


> p. 20: "ta" should be "ti". "ca'o le je'erse'a" should be "ca'o lo nu
> je'erse'a". "muvgau" doesn't make sense, but I'm not sure what the right word
I've opted for "lo nu ..." . I opted for muvdu now.

Tahank!

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