On Tue, May 8, 2012 at 4:55 PM, Jorge Llamb=EDas= <jjllambias@gmail.com> wrote:

On Tue, May 8, 2012 at 7:52 AM, Jonathan Jones <eyeonus@gmail.com> wrote:
> Anyway, before I upload the modified comic, are there any other errors=
> anyone sees?

22/23/24: "ta" should be "tu" since it's away= from both speaker and listener.

Right, my mistake= . I think it's because the Ceqli version used "ka" (the equiv= alent to "ta") that messed me up.
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26: "ji'a" should be after "la clalis" since it'= ;s her that is the
additional person having a pet, it's not about her having a pet in
addition to doing something else to it.

Noted.
=

31: I would use "bramau" rather than "fi" here. It seem= s like she's
making straightforward comparisons.

Well, yes, but= I was trying to keep the grammar simple. Part of that was using gismu inst= ead of lujvo if at all possible, especially in the earlier panels. That'= ;s not to say I won't do it, just that I'd like other opinions on t= he matter as well.
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32/33/34: I think "norbra" is better than "na'obra"= , and I would also
prefer "brana'o" to "na'obra".

Do you have any particular reason for this, or is it just a person= al preference? Also, would you prefer "norbra" over "brana&#= 39;o" or vice-versa?
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38: misplaced "ji'a" again.

43: "sepli" should be "sepsi'u", and "kansa&qu= ot; is about doing something
together, not really about location. I suggest "jonsi'u" or "tolsepsi'u" instead.

Okay, the seps= i'u thing I get, but lo te kansa is an event /or/ state. I agree that &= quot;jonsi'u" is a better choice here, but I'd prefer to use g= ismu as I said above, I can't use any word involving jorne in the later= panels, and the repitition of the word in multiple examples is kind of the= point of those panels.

Do you have a suggestion I can use in place of sepli/kansa I can use in= all those panels?
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48/49: misplaced "ji'a".

63: To me "ko'a pafspe ko'e" means "ko'a speni l= o patfu be ko'e", and
"ko'a be'aspe ko'e" is "ko'a speni lo bersa = be ko'e".

So, "spepa'u" and= "spebe'a"?
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64: Similarly for "mamspe" (no need for "y").

"spemamta"?
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67: "pa ki'o pa no no" is "1,100", not "1,000,= 100", which is "pa ki'o
ki'o pa no no". "du" is better than "mintu" fo= r the equals sign.
Calling "-" sumji and "/" pilji is extremely weird.
=

Agreed, but mekso is awful, and I don't understan= d it, so I chose not to use it. If you can re-do the examples using mekso, = I'll put those in instead.

Ah, yeah. Hmm. I think my reason for the sumji pliji weirdness was orde= r. "li vo sumji li re li re" is "the number 4 is the sum of = the number 2 and the number 2", yes, but it could also be read as &quo= t;the number 4 less by the number 2 is the number 2". Now that I think= about it, that sounds really stupid to me. Again, I don't understand m= ekso, so I did my best at the time.
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72: x3 of "zmadu" should be a property, not a number.

Um, the x3 of zmadu is a propery /or/ quantity. lo se nanca i= s a quantity, specifically a quantity of years, unless I'm missing some= thing.
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mu'o mi'e xorxes

22-24,26,38,48,49,63,and = 64 have been changed as per your critique. I'm going to wait on your re= sponse before I do anything to the others.
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