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[lojban-beginners] song translation attempt



I attempted translating “Tell Her No” by the Zombies into Lojban. I think it’s grammatical, and I’m almost as sure it means the right thing, but it is really hard trying to make it fit into the same tune. Help would be much appreciated.

 

If you don’t know the song, there is a youtube video of them singing it on tv at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-kM0TQN4Kk&mode=related&search= and I found the lyrics in English at http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/the_zombies/tell_her_no.html

 

My attempt at translation is on the wiki at http://lojban.org/tiki/tiki-index.php?page=Tell+Her+No

 

.i ki'e

 

.imu’omi’e .skaryzgik.