[lojban-beginners] Re: Prose & Cacophony

["Jorge Llambias" <jjllambias@hotmail.com>]

la eipipuz cusku di'e

> na'e darsi le nu djica
> tu'a le solri cu zvati le nicte lu'u
> ki'u le nu le kayjau le tarci cu mipri
>
> It stands, or tries to be something similar to:
>
> Dare not to long,
> the sun at night,
> 'cause tears hide stars.
>
> First of all I don´t know if it´s grammatically correct.

You need {le nu} instead of {tu'a}, and {kei kei}
instead of {lu'u}. With those changes it will parse.

> Second, I want opinions to give the utterance a better shape, like lojban 
> golf as someone pointed out.

ei na djica le nu gusni le nicte le solri
i ki'u bo le se klaku le tarci cu mipri

> Third, don't know if it should have "ko" at the beginning if my
> intention is to have a mood as "know thyself".

If you want it as a general rule rather than as a command
directed to someone in particular, probably some attitudinal
like {ei} might be better.

> That phrase would be "ko djuna ko"?

{ko djuno fi ko} is "know (something) about thyself". The x2
of {djuno} is for facts, not for people.

> Forth, for me at least the part "ki'u le nu le ..." is a bit
> cacophonic is there a way out of it?

Yes, you can put it in a new sentence. Usually in Lojban
it is less messy to do that than to try to cram all the
subclauses into the same sentence.

> Once I read that terminators are elidible to avoid sounding "ku ku cu"...

Usually sentences that don't need terminators are easier
to understand.

mu'o mi'e xorxes



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