Re: [lojban] Re: Alice proofreading

["Gregory Dyke" <gregory.dyke@epfl.ch>]

la xorxes spuda be mi cusku di'e

> >pamo'o
> >Alice falls down a well: la alis farlu fo lo mutce condi jinto. A jinto
is
> >something that is a source of some liquid. It certainly isn't a vertical
> >shaft. How about {rajytu'u}
>
> How about {jintyke'a}? A well is a hole in the ground to reach
> water, to reach a jinto.

If you really feel that it's important to keep the idea of "well" in the
lojban then ok.

I don't feel it would be any different if it were "shaft" which is what I
translated.

>
> >I don't know how to translate "cupboard", but I'm not impressed by "kabri
> >tanxe"
>
> {kabri vasru}? I don't particularly like {kabri tanxe} either,
> but I can't find anything better.

No, call it a kitchen container but not a cup container/box. a cupboard is
not better identified by having cups

>
> >why does Alice say {*uo* mi na ba xanka sa'a li'o} I don't get what uo
> >means. At first I thought she had reached the end of her fall, but that's
> >not the case.
>
> I don't know, it seemed to me like a completion in the sense that
> she is taking stock of the situation. After the fall so far, and
> what she has seen and done, she 'stops' to think. What would you
> suggest she might say? She says "Well!" in English.

I don't know {je'u} maybe?

> >After falling like this: {ba lonu farlu tai ti kei} shouldn't it be {tai
> >la'edi'u}?
>
> No, she is not referring to anything that she has just described.
> She is referring to "this situation that I'm in". I think that
> has to be {ti}.

I get it!

> matrai (mapti traji) = most appropriate

My gi'uste must be dying, I couldn't find {mat}

> {i go'i} was meant to translate the "yes". Maybe change
> to {iese'i}, "self-agreement"?

yep

i di'a co'e

{le se vorme noi traji le ka melbi lei purdi} this is missing the kei after
melbi

{le nu denpa fi le cmalu vorme} wouldn't a tu'a be appropriate here?

{gi'e xadba pacna le nu facki} I can't help but feel that lojban's less
"English" devices should be used here {50% pacna} or something similar

{i xamgu fa le nu cusku lu ko mi pinxe li'u} I suppose this should be "It's
all very well saying "drink me!", but..." some statement of
insatisfaction/annoyance/irony should be added or used to replace xamgu

?s/{lei sampu jivni}/{lei sampu jinvi}/

this sumti is then {no'u}d to other sumti which are {le nu co'e}s. Can a lei
be semantically no'ud to le?

{[lenu pinxe le vindu] cu li'o fanza da} Surely it does more than
annoy/irritate ?

In describing the taste as a mixture of things, shouldn't these be "lo'e"

why {grutrxananase} but {rutrceraso} what does the latter mean by the way?

{i abu ta'e sezystidu lo xamgu mutce} shouldn't this be lo'e?

remo'o

I love {za'uzra}, I'd just got ready to point out a mistake when I realised
it was correct.

shouldn't the first {to} have a {sa'a}?

mu'o