Re: Translation needed

[araizen@newmail.net]

la xarmuj cusku di'e

> I'll take a shot at it... I don't know how to do the formatting in proper
> Lojban, so I left it the way it is.
> Someone who speaks better Lojban than I do please correct what I have thus
> far so I don't continue my mistakes all the way through...
> 

The easiest way to do these translating assignments, I think, is to 
have anyone who's interested do a paragraph, with everyone 
making the corrections they notice. Even with something as short 
as this, no one might ever get around to finishing it.

Anyway, here are my comments and my contribution.

First of all, the text often talks about something being down from 
whatever so-many years ago. I think this is best expressed by 
"jdika ra'i ko'a pepu le temci", e.g. "This is down from 35,000 ten 
years ago, and 41,000 twenty years ago." would be something like 
".i la'e di'u jdika ra'i cimuki'o da pepu pano nanca gi'e jdika ra'i 
vopaki'o de pepu reno nanca"

> > HUNGER FACTS 
> 
> le nunxagji fatci
> 
> >     1. About 24,000 people die every day from hunger or
> > hunger-related
> >     causes. This is down from 35,000 ten years ago, and 41,000
> > twenty years
> >     ago. Three- fourths of the deaths are children under the age
> > of five. 
> 
> 1. i ji'i revora'e prenu cu morsi ri'a le nu xagji .a le xagjiki'i rinka

I think you mean ki'o instead of ra'e. Also, to become dead, 
rather than just be dead is mrobi'o. You mean xagjyki'i.

> i ji'i cimura'e prenu go'i pu lo nanca li pano  

For "ten years", etc., you need to say "lo nanca be li pano", 
but I think it's better to just say "pano nanca"

> .ije ji'i vopara'e prenu
> go'i pu lo nanca li reno  .i pizemu lei morsi cu verba lo nanca li mume'i
> 
 I think that normally it's me'imu and not mume'i, but it might not 
matter.

> >     2. Today 10% of children in developing countries die before
> > the age of five.
> >     This is down from 28% fifty years ago. 
> 
> 2. i caku pipano loi verba tu'i lo cabnalfarvi gugde cu morsi pu le nu
> verba lo nanca li mume'i  .i pirebi lei vy. cu go'i pu lo nanca li muno
> 

Try "panoce'i" instead of "pipano". Also, I think that "pevi" would 
work better than "tu'i" here. 

The last sentence isn't grammatical. You need to say just "vy" and 
not "lei vy". Or you could say something like ".i la'e di'u jdika ra'i 
rebice'i verba pepu muno nanca"

> "lo cabnalfarvi gugde" (intended lit. not-currently-developed nation) was
> the best I could come up with for "developing country". I tried to carry
> over the intended politically correct meaning of the English phrase.
> 

What's wrong with "favbi'o gugde"? In Lojban there's no swearing 
and no politically correct. :-)

Here's my contribution:

    3. Famine and wars cause just 10% of hunger deaths, although
these tend
    to be the ones you hear about most often. The majority of
hunger deaths
    are caused by chronic malnutrition. Families simply cannot
get enough to
    eat. This in turn is caused by extreme poverty. 

.i cimai
.i lei nu djacau kujoi lei nu jamna cu rinka so'u panoce'i lei xagji nu 
mrobi'o .i ku'i ri cu piso'eroi se sanji .i so'e le xagji nu mrobi'o cu se 
rinka le nu ru'i se xlacidja .ibo le lanzu na kakne le nu cpacu le 
cidja banzu .i la'e di'u se rinka le nu pindi mutce

.i co'o mi'e adam


Adam Raizen
araizen@newmail.net
-------------------
"Oom, Shmoom!"
--David Ben-Gurion