But, back to the original topic (as usual, just getting to it, a month later), a few comments:
* I note that you use "tcikonia" in your translation, but "crane" in your English title of this thread. tcikonia (storks) (a word which you yourself created) are not cranes. They are not even in the same avian order (perhaps cranes are za'e cipnrgru?). That being said, you are free to use "tcikonia" because other versions of the fable use "stork". Just commenting on the disconnect
* stylistic: rather than ".... nupre tu'a lo velne'u" I'd've probably just gone with "....nupre lo nu cnemu". Why extract out one concrete sumti of "to reward", than tu'a it back to a abstraction because that's what the x2 of nupre requires? Why not simply say that L promised to reward T, thereby staying in the realm of bridi, and not having to do a conversion on cnemu? But as I said, just stylistic, not substantive.
* similarly, I'm not to fond of "lo velne'u poi xagrai va'u loi palci" To imply that evil are ever beneficial? Eh. I'd go with something more like "lo velne'u be fo lo palci be'o poi xagrai"
Keep up the good work, and I second selckiku's " mi steci nelci lo za'i pixra jibni kei .e lo za'i melbi lerfu"
--gejyspa