Subject: Best wishes**(see note A)

From: [email-masked]
Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2001 16:29:37 EST

Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes 
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, 
non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice 
holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious 
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with 
respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of 
others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions 
at all, as well as a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and 
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally 
accepted calendar year 2002, but not without due respect for the 
calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society 
have helped make America great, (not to imply that America includes only 
the U.S., or that the U.S. is necessarily greater than any other country 
or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere, or that any portion 
of the Americas is in any way superior to any other continent, on this 
or any other planet) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, 
physical ability, religious faith, sexual preference, or any other 
aspect of the wishee. 

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This 
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely 
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no 
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for 
her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is 
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. 

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of 
good tidings for a period of one year (or other unit time of your choosing), 
or until the 
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first (not to 
imply that first is necessarily best), and warranty is limited to 
replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole 
discretion of the wisher. 

Before we start working on patents, we might try to cut teeth on a simple 
official greeting card.