From jjllambias@hotmail.com Fri Mar 16 12:54:22 2001 Return-Path: X-Sender: jjllambias@hotmail.com X-Apparently-To: lojban@yahoogroups.com Received: (EGP: mail-7_0_4); 16 Mar 2001 20:54:22 -0000 Received: (qmail 67683 invoked from network); 16 Mar 2001 20:54:22 -0000 Received: from unknown (10.1.10.26) by l9.egroups.com with QMQP; 16 Mar 2001 20:54:22 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO ml.egroups.com) (10.1.1.31) by mta1 with SMTP; 16 Mar 2001 20:54:21 -0000 X-eGroups-Return: jjllambias@hotmail.com Received: from [10.1.10.101] by ml.egroups.com with NNFMP; 16 Mar 2001 20:54:20 -0000 Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2001 20:54:16 -0000 To: lojban@yahoogroups.com Subject: Re: New Translation Message-ID: <98tuho+32f4@eGroups.com> In-Reply-To: <20010315163626.N27942@calum.csclub.uwaterloo.ca> User-Agent: eGroups-EW/0.82 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Length: 1604 X-Mailer: eGroups Message Poster X-Originating-IP: 200.41.210.18 From: jjllambias@hotmail.com la camgusmis cusku di'e > I've added another song translation to my lojban page > (http://www.csclub.uwaterloo.ca/~rlpowell/lojban.html). > > I'm pretty proud of this one, because the syllable count is the same as > the English. A lot of specificity is lost, though. Comments > appreciated. >> The Sun was born, so it shall die, >> le solri cu jbena jovmro I don't think I could ever figure out that meaning without seeing the original. I'm not sure I can give any meaning to {jovmro}. Besides {jo} is not about cause and effect. Maybe something just a little bit less cryptic (keeping syllable count): la sol purjbeja'e bavmro >> so only shadows comfort me. >> mi po'o kufra le ctino That's "only me", not "only shadows". It should be mi kufra le po'o ctino >> I know in darkness I will find you giving up inside >> like me. >> mi djuno je nermanfacki le nu do cripa'asmi mi I couldn't figure out {mermanfacki} or {cripa'asmi}. I propose re-wording to get the meaning across instead of sticking to the words: se'o do mi ba dunli le nu pa'acri vi le manku >> Each day shall end as it begins >> le djefa'o du le djecfa Is that really the meaning? That the day ends at its beginning? To me it is not identifying beginning and end, only saying that just as there is a beginning there must also be an end. fanmo ro djedi poi cfari >> and though you're far away from me >> .ije do selmuknarda'o Again [selmuknarda'o} is very obscure. Why not just: i mu'inai do darno mi You didn't use {i} in any of the previous sentences, though. co'o mi'e xorxes