Subject: Re: Mr. Happy's Holiday

From: Robin Lee Powell <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 9 Apr 2001 03:45:42 -0400

On Sun, Apr 08, 2001 at 09:08:10PM -0700, Lori Blaauw wrote:
> Loren Wrote:
> >
> > At 02:57 PM 4/8/01 -0700, Lori Blaauw wrote:
> >
> > >Now my concern with my men is that...well....let's be honest
> > >here...MEN have a limit to the amount of sexual energy they can
> > >expend. Once they reach a certain limit, well....they find...oh,
> > >let's just say "technical difficulties" will ensue, no matter how
> > >much they may love their partner, and want to be sexual with them,
> > >it just isn't possible.
> >
> > I can't really agree with you here, I'm afraid. My fingers and
> > tongue don't wear out any faster than those of most of the women I
> > know.

Just to add my way of handling things:

1. I have a female partner with whom, for a variety of reasons, no
fellatio or intercourse has occured. Lots of mutual masturbation, a
fair bit of cunnilingus. We have _great_ sex. Ergo, my mileage varies.

2. If one or the other of me and my (currently all female) partners
gets to the "OK, I can't go on, we're stopping now" (as opposed to us
both just moving into cuddling), it is almost always my partner, not me.
If it's me, it's usually due to tiredness and work in the morning. Note
that general tiredness is _not_ the same thing as not being able to
continue due to physcial fatigue; usually I could keep going, but I'll
hate myself tho next day. 8)

> Before anyone gets their back up on anything controversial I have to
> say (ducking from flying rotten fruit but not afraid to say
> something), I appreciate this bit of input....and wish to sort of run
> with it. Please understand...I still consider myself new to dating in
> this century (including the end of last), having spent the last 18
> years or so with only one man...so I am learning and may say or think
> things that might appear dumb...but I am open to be "ejicated", if you
> will. :-)
> 
> 1. Is a flagging (def. weakening or drooping) erection a sign of
> disinterest - always, sometimes or never?

Good god no. In my case, it approaches 'never'. However, that may just
be cuz I'm not down with this whole 'disinterest' thing. 8) Again,
about the only thing that can make me really disinterested in sex (aside
from emotional/physical ailment) is extreme tiredness.

By _far_ the most common reason for me to have a flagging erection is
because I've just spent a bunch of time working on my partner. Going
down on someone, in particular, is pretty much guaranteed to leave me
entirely soft if it lasts for more than, say, 10 minutes. Note that
cunnilingus is definately one of my favorite sexual activitys, so this
has nothing to do with lack of arousal. I'm just other-focused. In
fact, it can be a somewhat frustrating role reversal when my partner
decides that that's enough, she wants me in her _now_, and I need to get
warmed up again. 8)

(Fortunately, I've learned to fake it. Men usually don't realize that
with a bit of practice, you can enter a woman whilst still soft. Given
nerve distribution in the vagina, they often can't tell the difference.
Be _VERY_ careful doing this with condoms, though.)

> 2. How is an act of sexual congress defined? What signals the end of
> the act? Can you say that one has "had sex" or "made love" if only
> one partner achieves orgasm? if all do? if none do?
> 
> 3. If one spends 2.5 days in the company of one's lover, and all that
> occurs in that time is prolonged kissing, touching, hugging, tender
> looks, words, and snuggles, THEN an opportunity to actually achieve
> orgasm occurs (for one, or both), did said lovers just spend 3 days
> making love or just a few hours?

Not touching those. Too damn complicated, no-one ever agrees. I define
that sort of thing as needed for a particular conversation.

> 4. I often hear men saying that they wished that they could find "hot
> women" and yet, when they do...it is much like the dog chasing a
> car...they don't really know what to do with them once they have them.

Absolutely. You have no idea how much watching this pisses me off.
Idiots.

> What is it men really want?

Safety, based on the behaviour you're referring to. 'Hot' women are too
dangerous; all the other guys will want them.

I, personally, have had absolutely no problems fucking the shit out of
women whom I consider 'hot' when the opportunity arose.

Of course, I also have shown the ability to follow through on a stated
desire for a strong woman, so I clearly am not male, or something. :p

-Robin

-- 
http://www.csclub.uwaterloo.ca/~rlpowell/ BTW, I'm male, honest.
le datni cu djica le zifre .iku'i .oi le so'e datni cu to'e te pilno je
xlali -- RLP http://www.lojban.org/