[lojban-beginners] The Sith Code

[Ryan Leach <rsw.leach@gmail.com>]

So, because I learn by doing, I am trying to write stuff in lojban,
even if I know my translations will butcher the language. I decided to
translate the Sith Code (yes, I know that its interesting that I chose
the Sith Code, before the Jedi Code- must say something about me.)

So This is my first draft of the Code, and I would love some
corrections and opinions on how to translate it better.

So Here is the original code:

peace is a lie, there is only passion
through passion I gain strength
Through strength I gain power
through power I gain victory
the force shall free me

Here is my translation:

le panpi na jetnu i. baldjica jetnu
mi cpacu le tsali le baldjica
mi cpacu le vlipa le tsali
mi cpacu le ji'avli le vlipa
la bairux zbasu lo nu mi zifre

I used a couple of self-made lujvo. I am not certain if they work.

baldjica (great desire?) for passion
ji'avli (power + win) for victory
bairux (force applied + spirit) for the force (I felt that the Sith
would appreciate the idea that the force is actually applied force,
although I know the Jedi wouldn't)

This could be all just horrible, and I would understand. bairux is the
thing I am least ceratin of, but when looking this over, if you could
try to keep the harsh sound of the word if possible, it just sounds
very 'Sith' to me.