coi mi'e .eipipuz
For a while I've been lurking lojban lists and yesterday I at last tried to write something on lojban. I wanted a new mail signature, kind of getting a quote.
na'e darsi le nu djica
tu'a le solri cu zvati le nicte lu'u
ki'u le nu le kayjau le tarci cu mipri
It stands, or tries to be something similar to:
Dare not to long,
the sun at night,
'cause tears hide stars.
First of all I don´t know if it´s grammatically correct. Second, I want opinions to give the utterance a better shape, like lojban golf as someone pointed out. Third, don't know if it should have "ko" at the beginning if my intention is to have a mood as "know thyself". That phrase would be "ko djuna ko"? Forth, for me at least the part "ki'u le nu le ..." is a bit cacophonic is there a way out of it? Once I read that terminators are elidible to avoid sounding "ku ku cu"...
ki'e