[lojban-beginners] Re: Story time

[der Mouse <mouse@Rodents.Montreal.QC.CA>]

> In an effort to learn a little more about tense and narrative, I
> wrote a short paragraph about local events.  If someone would be so
> kind as to comment on it, that would be great.

Well, to return your "blind leading the blind" favour... :)

> {la bardivuar. vi le mi zdani cu barja

I can't parse this any way that doesn't have you speaking of yourself
as the home of something unspecified.  Might you mean {se zdani}, or
perhaps something based on {xabju}?

I'll stick my neck out and guess you're trying to say "There's a bar
_Bar Devoir_ right next to where I live.".  (If so, I'd be inclined to
spell it {bardevuar.}....)

> .i pu za ki ku le vorme pe by. ze'u ba ganlo ki'u lo nu catra

My grasp of tenses is relatively weak; I haven't gotten my head around
the lojban way.  In particular, I do not understand what you are doing
with the {pu za ki ku} fragment.

I'll guess this is intended to mean "A while ago, B.'s door was closed
for a time because of a killing".  Hm, exciting neighbourhood you live
in. :-/

> .i lo pulji cu klama by. .ije ku'i noda .ianai viska node .ianai

I'm not sure of the distinction you're trying to draw between {noda}
and {node}, quite likely because I don't entirely understand them. :-/

"The police came/come to B., but I can't believe nobody at all saw/sees
nothing at all; I still can't believe it."

> .i kiku la montreal. snura tcadu 

"Generally, Montreal is a safe city...."

> .ije ku'i my. se nabmi lo relxilma'e zekri girzu}

"...but it [M.] has trouble with biker gangs."

How'd I do? :)

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