(Original lines marked with asterisks.)
On Scene 1: Prologue.
*{zu'a mi'o ka'e viska}
This means "To the right of us an... is seeable."
Similarly,
*{ri'u mi'o ka'e viska}
means "To the left of us etc."
You can terminate the FAhA's with {ku} so You get
{zu'aku mi'o ka'e viska}
and
{ri'uku mi'o ka'e viska}.
*{.i roda snura si mulno snura}
I think he's not correcting himself, but confirming
what he has said:
{.i roda snura .i prane snura}.
*{doi .imos.}
{.i} is needed: he begins a new phrase.
Though here I would say
{.i be'e .imos.}
"Emo, may I go on talking to You?"
On Scene 2: Switchboard Trap.
*{na go'i xu do go'i}
Two separate phrases:
{na go'i .i xu do go'i}.
*{.i ko .e mi klama}
Then Emo nods and walks away to the opposite
direction.
{.i ko jo'u mi klama}
"You! together with I go."
*{ma se lidne}
I haven't seen the movie, but isn't this rather
{ca pu'o mo}?
*{do ba viska .i do ba viska}
{do ba viska .i do ja'a go'i}.
Shall I do the changes?
mi'e darves