[lojban] Re: First attempt to translate Chinese poem...

["Jorge Llambías" <lojban-out@lojban.org>]

On 11/26/06, Wang Xuerui <idontknw.wang@gmail.com> wrote:
> Here's the first poem I've translated from Chinese, .i xu di'e drani xe
> fanva
>
> .i do sanli lo cripu vau gi'e catlu lo jvinu
> .i tu'i lo dinju le prenu poi ca catlu cu catlu do
>
> .i le lunra cu jadni le canko pe do
> .i do jadni lo senva po'e lo drata prenu
>
> I'm not a professional poet, so feel free to give suggestions.

{vau} is not wrong, but it could be elided there.

I'd use {bu'u} instead of {tu'i}. {tu'i} (like stuzi) is for permanent sites,
not for incidental locations. {bu'u} (like zvati) is the general way to
indicate where something takes place.

I think you meant {lo se senva be lo drata prenu}. {lo senva} is
a dreamer, {lo se senva} is a dream.

mu'o mi'e xorxes


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