[lojban] Re: Borges Translation II

["Jorge Llambías" <lojban-out@lojban.org>]

On 11/30/06, Bob LeChevalier <lojbab@lojban.org> wrote:
> Here's my effort, along with the Spanish original (which I can't really
> read, though the matching roots are pretty obvious).
>
> Nadie rebaje a lágrima o reproche
> esta declaración de la maestría
> de Dios, que con magnífica ironía
> me dio a la vez los libros y la noche.
>
> Let neither tear or reproach
> besmirch this declaration of the mastery
> of God who, with magnificent irony,
> granted me both the gift of books and the night.
>
> sekai lo ka driklaku najenai zugytalsa kei .ainai
> la cevni .iocai ju'a ga'inaire'e cu catnyrai
> gi'e dunda sekai lo ka balranxi kei fi mi .i'a
> fe loi ka'e seltcidu cukta .e loi nicte tolvi'a
>
>
> I attempted a more literal translation, for scansion using the same
> number of syllables in each line (ignoring a y-hyphen in the first line)
> along with a simple rhyme like the original Spanish (though rhyming
> different lines).

(Minor nitpick: In my book {catnyrai} does not rhyme with {.ainai},
at least not in the way the Spanish rhymes. For a "proper" rhyme
the last stressed vowel and everything after it must be identical.
{.i'a} and {tolvi'a} do rhyme.)

[...]
> My main uncertainty was the intended meaning of maestria (mastery); I
> don't know the Spanish, but the English word could be understood as a
> form of catni or as a form of certu (or even se selfu, though that seems
> unlikely)

It's {ka certu} here.

My take then:

 .e'i no da pante gi'a klaku fi
 lo nu jarco lo selcru be le dimca'i
 noi ke'a io se kai lo raxselba'i
 cu dunda lo cukta joi lo nicte mi

mu'o mi'e xorxes


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