Ahem (that's an English word I have never used before, and honestly, it reminds me the word "anthem"). Do you guarantee your translation is 100% grammatical? ;)
A litmus for being sure of that is, for example, copy-n-pasting the text to jbofi'e. If jbofi'e doesn't return any result, there is a 99% probability that your Lojban text isn't 100% grammatical.
ue sai
Oh God in Heaven (in case You exist), jbofi'e cannot parse {lo be lo [selbri1] ku [selbri2]}!
It recognizes {lo [selbri2] be lo [selbri1]} only.
I that a glitch? Or do I not know something about the grammar of {be} I should?
Otherwise it's completely grammatical. I only missed one {be'o}. :)
Correction: {i lo mamta be lo rirni be mi be'o be'o li'o}.
mi'e darves