Re: [lojban] [update] le virnu smani blozeile'a

[Jorge Llambías <jjllambias@gmail.com>]

On Fri, Sep 17, 2010 at 5:23 PM, Remo Dentato <rdentato@gmail.com> wrote:
> I posted a new version of "le virnu smani blozeile'a" here:
>
>   http://dentato.com/the-brave-monkey-pirate-jbo-review.pdf
>
> I hope I addressed all the comments you gave me.
>
> I'm sure there are still mistakes and things to be fixed, thanks for
> any comment you may have.

1- I still don't understand "lo (...) lanci be tu'i le kampu kumfa".

How can the living-room be the site of the flag if they are in a
store? And flags hardly have inalienable locations, since they are
easily movable objects, not like a monument or a mountain.

2- You don't really need "kei" in "le nu skorbuti [kei] .a zo'e" (this
appears twice)

3- ".ije my le nu klama lo mikce briju kei skicu le patfu"

You need "kei ku" there or just use "cu" instead.

4- "... gi'e cpare lo pojma'a noi culno lo fagri rumro'i / gi'e ..."

You need to end that "noi" with "ku'o".

5- I would use "tolcri" instead of "facki". He didn't find out facts
about the mafcre, he found the mafcre.

6- The braxiura mafcre uses two unnecessary "ku"'s.

mu'o mi'e xorxes

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