Re: [lojban] [update] le virnu smani blozeile'a

[Pierre Abbat <phma@phma.optus.nu>]

On Friday 17 September 2010 16:23:52 Remo Dentato wrote:
> I posted a new version of "le virnu smani blozeile'a" here:
>
>    http://dentato.com/the-brave-monkey-pirate-jbo-review.pdf
>
> I hope I addressed all the comments you gave me.
>
> I'm sure there are still mistakes and things to be fixed, thanks for
> any comment you may have.

p. 5: "beme'e" should be used once at most. The following times he should be 
called "la modix. noi blozeile'a" or "la modix. no'u le blozeile'a" or "le 
blozeile'a no'u la modix.".

p. 7: I agree with Jorge's "noi ba jadni".

p. 9: I'd say "le mikce briju", as apparently they both had the same doctor in 
mind.

p. 11: "lo jinku befi lenu skorbuti" doesn't make sense. Scurvy is a 
deficiency, not infectious, disease, so there is no vaccine for it. The shot 
might be a fat-soluble version of vitamin C (ascorbyl palmitate).

p. 12: "na serai nelci" is unclear. Modi's liking of syringes is not the 
greatest among ... what? I'd just say "na nelci".

p. 20: "ca'o le je'erse'a" should be "ca'o le nu je'erse'a".

p. 22: "le mikce briju"

Pierre
-- 
Don't buy a French car in Holland. It may be a citroen.

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