[lojban-beginners] Re: improved translation

["Chris Capel" <pdf23ds@gmail.com>]

Though I'm not great with Lojban either, I think I might see some
issues with your translation.

On 8/17/06, Michael Graff <m.graff@freenet.de> wrote:
> .i lo munje puzuki citno .i ro cmana cu crino
> .i noda poi barna lo lunra cu se viska

Wouldn't it mean the same, and be nicer, to say "i no barno be lo
lunra cu se viska"?

> .i roda poi flecu gi'a rokci cu na'e se cmene

I believe "gi'a" should be ".a.". "gi'a" only connects bridi, and "a"
only sumti. ("ja" connects selbri within tanru and also connects
sentences.

> .i la durin. binxo lo cikna gi'e pavysei cadzu
>
> Without additional tense-cmavos the approximate simultaneity is already
> expressed, isn't it?

Yes, I believe so. I added "cazu" because I think the explicit
repetition sounded nice.

> .i mi ba pensi lo ve ciksi be lo smuni be zo ti be'o bei mi bei do bei
> ne'i lo xatra

Ack. That sentence makes my head hurt. Also, I think you have an extra
"bei" before ne'i.

Chris Capel
--
"What is it like to be a bat? What is it like to bat a bee? What is it
like to be a bee being batted? What is it like to be a batted bee?"
-- The Mind's I (Hofstadter, Dennet)