[lojban] Re: le mu xamgu pe lo nunji'e

["komfo,amonan" <komfoamonan@gmail.com>]

On Thu, Dec 18, 2008 at 6:57 AM, Jorge Llambías <jjllambias@gmail.com> wrote:

On Sun, Dec 14, 2008 at 7:45 PM, komfo,amonan <komfoamonan@gmail.com> wrote:
>  Also, would someone please add links to this & my previous
> translation

> to the "Texts in Lojban" page's "Short Stories" section? I don't seem to
> have edit privileges for that page. Thanks.

That's odd. Were you logged in? Anyway I have added them.

A couple of comments on the translation:

>> ca lo cerni pe'a pe lo nunji'e

Woudn't "lo cerni _be_ lo nunji'e" make more sense here? With "pe" the
point of cerni seems to be lost, it's just some morning associated
with life, not the early part of life.

Of course. Thanks.

>> .i je na zgana le selklaku poi ke'a tolcanci bu'u le kanla be le racycrida

You don't really need "bu'u" there. I think "zgana" is intentional, so
"ganse" would make more sense.

Yes and yes.

>> .i je ca bu'u vreta fa zo'e no'u le dibrai je ro moi

Maybe "nau" instead of "ca bu'u"? "ti" instead of "zo'e"?

Yes and yes.

>>.i le nanca be li su'o re cu ba'o ctuca do lo kamprije vau ju'o

"le nanca be li su'o re" makes it seem as if the fairy was not aware
that many more than two years had passed.

Yes again. I suppose I'll go with {so'o}.

mu'o mi'e komfo,amonan