On Fri, Sep 17, 2010 at 4:23 PM, Remo Dentato
<rdentato@gmail.com> wrote:
I posted a new version of "le virnu smani blozeile'a" here:
http://dentato.com/the-brave-monkey-pirate-jbo-review.pdf
I hope I addressed all the comments you gave me.
I'm sure there are still mistakes and things to be fixed, thanks for
any comment you may have.
Remo.
PS. crab is "braxiura" now :)
Marvelous story! And I discovered something every 3-5 year old knows. It's much easier to understand things in a language you are just learning to read if there are pictures to guide you! For example, reading the text, I was uncertain what a pojma'a was, but looking at the picture, I immediately realized those must be the rafsi for spoja + cmana and that the word means "volcano". Similarly, the picture made it clear that "kalgai" were kanla gacri (I did still have to look up words like "skorbuti", though, since fu'ivla are inherently much more difficult to understand than lujvo, since you don't even have similarities to gismu to guess rafsi from).
I respectfully disagree with pir about "jinku", though. I think the gismu is broad enough to include supplements, as well.
I have one quibble with the story, though. I looked at "i ca'o le je'erse'a ku ganai do mutce danre jgari le rokci gi'e kancu fi li ci gi do muvdu ba'o lenu je'erse'a" And thought, "If you squeeze the rock very tightly (btw, I'd probably use jdari rather than danre, but that's just me) during the shot, and count to three, then after the shot you will move"? Huh? Rather than ba'o, I'd say perhaps "lo balvi be" (you will move to the thing in the future of the shot event)
(Also I should like to point out the use of "da'i" for use in "if...then" hypotheticals+results, rather than "ganai...gi", which refers to the logician's use of "if...then..." to denote implication ("if I am wet, then it is raining")) ("va'o lo nu da'i do jgari le rokci ca'o le je'erse'a keikei do muvdu...")
--gejyspa