Just on a general, but important, note, I believe it is quite inappropriate to go on and call patterns used in the translation "mistakes" straightaway. Their systematicity, for one, are good indication that they are the result of a conscious choice; and you should not assume that that this choice is the result of a lack of understanding of lojban.
Similarly, the existence of many lujvo not defined in the dictionary suggests a need on dictionary work, not a problem with the text, which, putting the word to real usage, is already a precious contribution. It is exciting that we have the opportunity to collaborate with the author and document the definitions for the new words, resolving its details.
Whether "la .alis." should be considered lojban or a dialect of lojban or something like that is for us to decide, but let us consider how the attitude of disregarding relevant work as "not truthfully lojban" may produce either a bunch of people, each with their own personal lojban, and strong views about why they are right, or a community of blind worshipers of a very precise and sterile language specification.
I don't see anything wrong with language discussions, and I think any published work should be subject to public critique. I just propose we approach cultural work with some openness and respect. The hidden evil we may not be aware of in confusing style and mistakes, regardless of offending someone or not, is that it is counter-productive. It opens up the possibility for a conscientious effort in lojban production to be rejected by a bunch of English words.
I too have my hundreds of notes about the idioms and
style of the work, upon which I intend to reflect, and rethink my own
lojban _expression_ in response to them. I may discuss a usage with xorxes
if I feel I don't understand his thought behind it well enough, or if I
want feedback about my own ideas. In any case, if I ultimately dislike
some aspect of his style, the only response I can give is by producing
new material and seeing if people adopt my own. This is the way of
culture, and I would rather appreciate that lojban had a more prolific
one.
mu'o
mi'e .asiz.
P.S. Sorry for contributing to the thread digression...