[lojban-beginners] Re: metaphorical poor

[Michael Turniansky <mturniansky@gmail.com>]

On Fri, Sep 4, 2009 at 3:41 AM, Alexandre
Dezotti<dezotti.alexandre@gmail.com> wrote:
>> Â> You might wonder why i need this...
>> Â> Well, i'm trying to learn by translating things. And so, i'm wondering
>> Â> if there is a place where people work together in translating (somehow
>> Â> classical) texts, one could show the translation and people say if one
>> Â> should change things etc.
>>
>>
>> If it's not too long, you can probably send it to this list and ask
>> Âfor comments.
>
> Well, i only TRIED to translate the first sentence, this is a poem of
> FranÃois Villon (1431-1463?) : "FrÃres humains".
>
> Here is the original (old) french version :
>
> Freres humains qui apres nous vivez
> N'ayez les cuers contre nous endurciz,
> Car, se pitie de nous pauvres avez,
> Dieu en aura plutot de vous merciz.
> ...
>
> (compare http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballade_des_pendus)
>
> With english translation :
>
> Brothers and men that shall after us be,
> Let not your hearts be hard to us:
> For pitying this our misery
> Ye shall find God the more piteous.
>
> (from http://www.everypoet.com/Archive/poetry/Francois_Villon/index.htm)
>
> And the following is my lojban "translation", i put the worst parts
> into brackets :
>
> doi remna tamne noi ba mi'a jmive
> na ko [iunai cinmo fi mi'a]
> ki'u lo nu [dai cinmo fi uu mi'a ]
> cu rinka le nu fi la cev. [zabna] fe do
>
> i won't translate the following part within a while, i'll concentrate
> on simpler things...
>
> Any comment and improvement are wellcome.
>
> mu'o

  (Going by the English here, since I can't pretend to be able to read
even modern French, much less Old French)
 doi remna tamne noi ba mi'a jmive
 ko na norke'i mi'a
.imu'ibo lo nu da'i kecti mi'a lo betri be mi'a
nibli lo nu la cev. kecti do

               --gejyspa