[lojban] Pakistani Culture

[Ali Sajid <ali.sajid.imami@gmail.com>]

As far as friendships are concerned, people are very friendly.
Friendships are very very

important, important enough to get killed over, in extreme cases.
There is, however, a certain gender segregation in friendships. There
was, traditionally,

no concept of friends of opposite gender. There exists a sort of
courtesy between genders

though.
Male friends are very frank with each other, and mostly consider each
other brothers. Same

goes for female friends.
There are unwritten rules that say that you have to help your friends
however you can. This

is also mirrored in our fables.

Our weddings are a grand affair. Usually planned by the whole family
nearly a year in

advance even. Here in pakistan, the principal functions are 3.
Mehndi/Sehrabandi.
Barat and Nikah
And Valima.

I'll explain each in turn.
Mehndi (urdu word for henna) is the female ceremony. This is usually
done in the bride's

house. All the bride's friends and sisters and female cousins are
there. They apply henna

to the bride's hands and arms, and sometimes, feet. Usually, the
grooms female family

members bring the henna and apply it ceremonially. The principal sweet
in this ceremony is

the "Laddo".
http://laxmisree.sulekha.com/mstore/laxmisree/albums/default/besan-laddo.jpg
A picture of laddo. They're yummy btw. :D

Sehrabandi is the male counterpart to Mehndi. And the same as above
applies, except that

both males and females are there. The main event of this is the
"sehra", a form of

headdress, that is wrapped around the groom's head. It is somewhat
signature of being a

groom. :)
http://www.apexlace.com/images/sehra4.gif
http://www.culturesdiary.com/UserFiles/2007/8/21/p1848wmu[1].jpg
http://www.weddingeventsindia.com/images/sehra1.jpg


Barat is the next event. It is the function in which the groom and
groom's family and

friends depart from there home, traditionally to the bride's home, for
the actual wedding.

The bride's family prepares the reception. The groom and his company
is known as the

"Barat". Traditionally, when the groom arrives, little girls throw
rose petals and the

groom is given garlands. So is his family.
The main event, here in Pakistan, muslim culture, is the Nikah. A
muslim cleric, who is

also required to be registered by the government, usually called by
the bride's father or

guardian is present. He first goes to the bride and asks her, "Do you,
bride, daughter of

someone, agree to be wedded to groom, son of groom's father, for the
"mehar" of this much".
The bride has to agree. She is asked this Three times, and if she says
no at any one time,

the nikah is not done.
Similar question is asked of the groom. once both bride and groom
agree, they are

considered wedded. Until this time, both bride and groom are in
separate places. The cleric

then gives a short sermon, which has been the same in our wedding
ceremonies in islam. It

has many different sayings, highlighting the rights and
responsibilities of both the

partners.

After that, sweets are distributed. And so are little packets
containing different stuff,

like almonds, dates, toffees etc, are distributed from the groom's
side. This is called the

"Bid". After this is the meal. Then there are different little
customs, ceremonies, most of

them quite fun. The couple i'll mention here are the "Joota chupai"
and "Doodh pilai".
"Joota chupai", literally "Hiding the shoe" is sort of a game. The
bride's sisters, or

female relatives, sneak upto the groom's shoes and then hide them.
Hold them hostage, till

the groom pays up. :D It is, however, the duty of the groom's brothers
and friends to find

out the place where the shoes are and rescue them. :)
"Doodh pilai" is literally "Drinking the milk". Traditionally,
drinking the milk on wedding

day is considered good fortune. And the milk is brought by the bride's
sisters. Once the

groom drinks it, he has to pay up again. :D

The ceremony of giving away the daughter is called the "Rukhsati",
literally, "The leaving". The bride is given away under the shadow of
the Quran, and a dupatta, a sort of long cloth.

The next day, is the Valima. A feast by the newlywed couple. No
distinctive events here. Just, people coming and congratulating the
couple.


I'll be back with more stuff later. :)

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