Re: [lojban] Let it Go

A few places Wuzzy didn't address, djac:

d7. .i drani cu canci Perfection vanishes.

Once again, missing a mandatory article

c1. .i lo mi facki cu bancu My discovery exceeds a limit.

That says your discoverer exceeds a limit. Once again, you would need "se facki" instead of "facki"

Wuzzy:

> d5. .i pe'a mi vu cermurse
Quoted directly from the CLL:
“The cmavo ‘pe'a’ is the indicator of figurative speech, indicating
that the previous word should be taken figuratively rather than
literally:”
I don’t think you meant the sentence seperator figuritavely, implying
that you use Lojban’s grammar as a metaphor. XD
I *think* “pe'a” belongs after “cermurse”. But I really don’t know.
The CLL is not very clear on how to use “pe'a”.

pe'a is a UI, and indeed, works just like other UI, in that it modifies the previous word, and if that word is a terminator word of a structure, or the start of a structure, it modifies that entire structure. In other words, using pe'a at the beginning of a sentence is the same as using "a'o" at the beginning of a sentence. It applies to the whole sentence. The original line is fine as is.

Stylisitically, I am wondering why both you, djac, and djeikon both chose to use "nelci" as a basis for "the cold never bothered me anyway", that is, reframing it from a non-dislike to a like, which is not equivalent. Why not something in the nature "lo za'i lenku na'e selfanza mi"?

And speaking of style, djac, actually syllable count is exactly the wrong thing to keep in mind when you are translating. What you want is the same number of STRESSED syllables, and to have them appear in the right meter (but you can fudge unstressed syllables a bit). So, for example, your line "i zifcru .i zifcru" doesn't work, because the original is "let it GO, let it GO", and your translation is ".i ZIF cru, i ZIF cru", amphibrachic instead of anapestic. So, if you want to be punctilious, you've failed. So you might as well be freer with your self-opposed syllable-count constraint, which is chimeric anyway.

My two cents,

--gejyspa

On Fri, Jun 6, 2014 at 5:16 PM, Joshua Anon <jtt96@mail.com> wrote:

I decided to translate 'Let it Go' from 'Frozen' into Lojban; but given that I'm doing this as a convenient way to utilize Lojban as I'm learning it: I am sure I have made many mistakes. I have placed the Lojban translation on the left with the corresponding English version of what I think I said in Lojban on the right. If the two don't basically match up line for line, than I have made a mistake. I have not translated the attitudinals when they occur at the beginning of a bridi. At the end I have some specific questions about things I am unsure of or suspect are wrong.

This probably goes without saying, but I don't own any rights to Lojban nor to the movie 'Frozen' or it's song 'Let it Go'.

a1. .aunai snime cu carvi le cmana            Snow precipitates upon the mountain.
a2. .i vi claxu lo pluta                        Here there is no path.
a3. .i mi sepli fe loi remna                    I am apart from people.
a4. .i mi simlu lo turni                        I appear to relate in some way to the act of governing.

a5. .i tcima cu simsa le mi menli sevzi         The weather is similar in property to the mind of myself.
a6. .i .ii mi fliba lo sezyfanta                I fail at the control of myself.

a7. .i ko na curmi lo viska                   You! (talking to self) Don't allow observance/seeing.
a8. .i ko vrude lo do natmi marde               You! (talking to self) Act so that you can rightly be deemed virtuous by the moral standards of your people group.
a9. .i ko mipri fi le tcadu                     You! (talking to self) Keep a secret from the city.
a0. .i ri djuno                                 The city knows.

b1. .i zifcru .i zifcru                         Release; Release.
b2. .i do na jitro fe do                        It is not true that you (talking to self) control yourself.
b3. .i zifcru .i zifcru                         Release; Release.
b4. .i ko do'o se ganlo                         You! (talking to self) Make it so that access to you is denied to you and others.
b5. .i cusku na selxanka mi                     I do not worry about some unspecified someone expressing some unspecified something.
b6. .i ko curmi ti                            You! (talking to self) Allow this.
b7. .i .o'enai mi nelci lo lenku                .o'enai I am fond of cold.

b8. .i minli darno lo sevzi darno cu gasnu      The literal distance brings about self-distance.
b9. .i lono jitro terpa cu pagre fi mi .u'e     None of the controlling fears enter the wondrous {.u'e} me.
b0. .i mi facki lo kakne mi                     I discover the ability of myself.
c1. .i lo mi facki cu bancu                     My discovery exceeds a limit.
c2. .i .ia zi'o marde fi mi                   .ia non-existant are morals applying to me.
c3. .einai                                      Freedom.

c4. .i zifcru .i zifcru                         Release; Release.
c5. .i .uo mi brife joi tsani               .uo I am the wind and the sky.
c6. .i zifcru .i zifcru                         Release; Release.
c7. .i mi na'e klaku                            I will not be crying.
c8. .i mi vi stali joi stodi                    I abide in one place and I am invariant.
c9. .i curmi snime                              The permitted snow.

c0. .i benji lo mi vlipa lo loldi fu ti        My power is transfered to the ground via this.
d1. .i mi cupra lo spisa bisli lo pruxi sevzi   I produce particulated crystal by means of my spiritual self.
d2. .i lo pa bisli spoja pensi cu dunja         One frozen exploding thought congeals.
d3. .i mi noroi xruti lo sevzi lo purci         I am never returning myself to a state from the past.

d4. .i zifcru .i zifcru                         Release; Release.
d5. .i pe'a mi vu cermurse                    Figuratively, I am the dawn there yonder.
d6. .i zifcru .i zifcru                         Release; Release.
d7. .i drani cu canci                           Perfection vanishes.
d8. .i mi vi sanli lo cerni                     I stand here upon the day.
d9. .i curmi snime                              The permitted snow.
d0. .i o'enai mi nelci lo lenku                 .o'enai I am fond of cold.

a1: Should I use {lo} in place of {le} here?
a3: Is {loi} correct here? or should it be {lo} or {lo'i}?
a4: I tried working around {nolraitru}, but the syllabry wouldn't come out, so {turni} it is.
a5: Is this even a valid grammatical construct? Can the words be used in this way?
a7: I am made to understand that it is ok to use {ko} to command oneself if the context makes this usage evident.
a8: Does this bridi communicate the correct general concept?
a0: Is {ri} used correctly here?
b1: Would {zifre} work better here? I'm on the fence about which to use.
b4: Did I get any sumti places mixed up here?
b5: Did I get any sumti places mixed up here?
b8: Can anyone think of a better way to phrase this? It needs to have 13 syllables and it would be prefferable if the syllabry was fixed. Try singing it; the stress is wrong.
b9: The {.u'e} is modifying {mi} to fix syllabry problems. Also, is {lono} used correctly here?
c2: Can {zi'o} be used in this way?
c3: The problem is that it technically modifies {mi}, but there is a pause in the song, so it should be ok, right?
c5: Not sure if this sentence means what I think it means.
c7: Is {na'e} the correct cmavo to use here?
c8: Again, not sure if this sentence means what I think it means.
c9: An observative.
d1: I'm not sure about {pruxi sevzi}. Is there a better pair of gismu that would communicate the concept of 'soul'?
d3: Is {noroi} used correctly here?
d5: Is {pe'a} used correctly? Is {vu} used correctly?

Thanks you for your time,

djac.

--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "lojban" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to lojban+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com.
To post to this group, send email to lojban@googlegroups.com.
Visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/lojban.
For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.

Re: [lojban] Let it Go - In Lojban